"You heard me. You come in here, acting like you're better than me. What's your deal, boy? Do you need another lesson?"
I could probably beat the shit out of him if I wanted, but that was the last thing I needed to think about. My best bet was to get the fuck away from him and do what I needed to do. We had a plan; it was going to work. I just needed to let it happen.
But I couldn't shut my fucking mouth.
"My problem is that you only beckon to me when you absolutely need something from me. I'm your goddamn son. Maybe you could show an interest. Give a shit?"
He stared at me for a long moment and then he laughed. He fucking laughed. Right in my god damned face.
"You think I don't give a shit about you? I'm setting up a goddamn empire for you, you ungrateful little shit. You never appreciated it. You never appreciated me. And now you come walking in here like you fucking own the place. Well, let me tell you, you ignorant little ass wipe. I brought you into this world and I can sure as hell take you out."
"I'd like to see you try."
"You want to make this a thing?" he said, his snarl very real. "I don't think you want to get on my bad side, Janson Michael Mactavish."
It was meant to throw weight around, but it didn't mean a damn thing. He didn't mean a damn thing to me.
We were just two people who shared a name.
"You got anything else for me?" I asked again. I didn't want to continue this conversation. I would take it to a place where I couldn't get back from. We both knew it.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Actually, I need you to pick up my dry cleaning. Bring it to my place. Lacy will be there waiting."
Lacy was my twenty-three-year-old "stepmother". He seemed to trade up as soon as they hit thirty, but this one was a real piece of fucking work.
He knew I hated her; this was my punishment. I would take it if it meant defusing the situation.
"Fine," I said as I stood. Fuck him. Fuck everything he stood for.
"Oh, and Janson?" he called to me.
"Yeah?" I asked. I was so done with him.
"Your job is to be loyal to Greyson, but your life depends on being loyal to me. Don't fucking forget it." He grabbed up his cigar and took a long puff.
I fought the urge to spit the sour feeling out of my mouth right onto his face. I needed to get the hell out of there.
So I turned and stormed off.
That man had the ability to make me feel like a petulant teenager even twenty years later.
But he would get what was coming to him.
Kathryn
All I had to do was confront my father. Go back home and live with him. Convince him that I was a part of the family. Then steal right from underneath him.
I sighed and thought sarcastically: That won't be hard at all.
Leaving Janson. That was going to be the hardest part. No one knew what we were up to, and though I'd only spend a few nights with him, I didn't want it to end. I didn't have the nightmares when he held me. I didn't dream about my uncle when he was close. It was like he was a drug I'd been looking for my entire life and I'd finally found.
He was the only one who could save me. I bit my lip and looked out the windows down onto the street. I liked staying here. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to be in the house again.
But I did miss my mom. And my sisters.
I just wanted nothing to do with him.
It was a part of the plan. It would work out. At least, that was exactly what I needed to tell myself.
I wanted him gone.
I heard a slam on the door and looked up to see Janson coming through the living room. He didn't even look at me. And then I noticed it. He was fucking covered in blood.
"What the hell?" I asked as I walked through the kitchen towards him.
"It's fine. None of it is mine." He was heading towards the bathroom as he said it and that worried me more than anything else.
"Then whose is it?" I asked.
"Do you really want to know?" he said. When he looked back at me, his eyes were so angry that I thought about saying no. I thought about turning around and never looking back, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't just walk away from this. So I swallowed hard, and I nodded. "Yes. I want to know."
"I had a list of three men I had to fuck up. I made appointments. I went, I saw them. I fucked them up."
"Are any of them-"
"Dead?" he finished the question for me. "No. I didn't kill anyone. But at least one of them is going to need a few weeks to recuperate."
"Orders?" I asked. I could've guessed as much, but he nodded at me. That told me all I needed to know.
"I'm a fucking demon." Janson was shell-shocked. For the first time in my life, I saw the way a man felt after he'd caused an incredible amount of pain to someone else. "It's not just that, baby girl. I craved it. I craved each blow they took to their bodies. I caused it all. And I liked it."
He wasn't shaking, but he was so calm. So quiet. It scared me.
"You need a shower," I said as I pushed him into the bathroom. I made quick work of the blood-stained clothing and turned on the shower. It was easier not to think about it. Not to think about the ways he made them spill their blood.
He was a killer. The kind that did exactly what he was told and did it without mercy. I knew that.
Janson wasn't lying when he told me he was a monster. He really believed that he was. Hell, a part of me believed that he was. Not because he was one, but because he was made to become one. Because his father and my father put him in that position.
The same position they put so many men in just for fun. Because it was all about business and money. It was fucking ridiculous. My blood boiled just thinking about all the things they made him do. And other men. Men like Michael.
I started the shower and waited until it was warm enough.
"You shouldn't want to be here with me," Janson said as he stared at me. He still looked so dangerous. Like he was fighting the urge to commit more acts of violence. But he would never hurt me. He made that promise, and I believed him.
"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere," I said as I grabbed him and pulled myself into him. He was covered in blood and dirt, and I didn't care. The clothing could be replaced, and all of the stuff on his body was temporary. It could all wash away. It would all wash away. He was more important.
He was important to me.
He pulled me into the shower, the water of the multiple jets washing over both our bodies. It was wonderful and sinful even in the moment. I loved the way it felt against my skin. I loved the way he felt against my skin.
We were in so deep, and I knew there was nothing we could do.
"You have no idea the shit I've been through, Kathryn." The words came out slowly. One at a time. But I just wrapped my arms around his torso and found a few of his scars. I fingered them softly. He was everything I'd ever wanted. I'd always loved him.
And now I had him. All of him. Scars and all.
And I loved that about him.
"I do have some idea. Not the way you do. But I understand what and who you are. And I don't care about all that. I know who you are. You are a good man. You are a caring man. You want what is best for the people around you. You know better than I what that can cost. What it has cost. But I'm not walking away. Not now." I looked up into his eyes.
He winced, but he didn't look away.
"Are you sure about that?" he asked as he bent his head down. It was clean now, and I wasn't afraid of his skin anymore. "Are you sure you can handle me?"
"I'm as sure as I am ever going to be," I answered honestly. I reached up and ran a thumb over his jawline.
I loved this man. This crazy, strong, violent, scary man. I loved him. Nothing was going to change that.
I would do anything for him.
I would do everything for him.
He bent down and kissed me, his lips touching mine softly at first, but then they morphed into something stronger. Filled with need and lust and sadness and anger. All of the emotion he was feeling poured into me, and made me realize just exactly what was going on in his head.
He was scared. He was angry.
Janson was feeling all the emotions I was, but they were so intense that I could barely stand his touch. Yet I couldn't let it go. I couldn't let him go.
I clung to him, the fall of water from the shower enveloping us both as the warm rain coated our bodies. I didn't know how long we stood there like that, clinging to each other, kissing deeply, but I knew that I never wanted to be any other way. I belonged to him in that moment, and he belonged to me.
And I was glad that we were together.
"I need you, Kat." He was so earnest in the way that he said it that it almost brought tears to my eyes. "I don't know what life was before you. I can't remember it. I just know that you have filled me with so much need that I can't walk away. I want to make a life with you. For you. I want to be a better man."