His hands slipped over my generous breasts, and he looked them over like he was trying to decide which one he wanted to focus on.
"Good god, you are gorgeous, Kat." He grabbed my nipple and rolled his finger over it, giving it a small pinch. "It should be sinful to look at you, but god damn if I can help it."
It was forbidden, we both knew it, and we knew it added to the allure. I sucked in a breath as his mouth came down over my rosy peak, his tongue rolling up against it. Suddenly he chuckled and mumbled.
"If I'd known just how bad you wanted it, I would've made you work harder." He sucked on me hard enough that my back arched and I let out a low moan.
Fuck.
"Why do you have to be so cruel?" I asked. I was teasing, but the dark tint in his eyes told a different story. Even under the moonlight he looked menacing.
"It's my nature, Kathryn." He kissed the side of my breast, then bit it.
I shivered.
Janson took his time kissing down my torso until he was at the lip of my panties. He ran his hands over my body, grabbing the elastic band of them and pulling them down to reveal all of me.
I sucked in breath after breath, trying to get my wits about me. I was lost to his will, but that didn't mean that I wasn't anxious. No man had ever seen me naked, let alone touched me before him. At least not like this.
"You are a damn goddess, do you know that?" He slipped his finger between my legs and slid it along the folds. I was soaking wet, the slickness making it easy for him to feel all of me.
"Oh, baby girl, you do want me." He flicked my clit, just a little bit. Just enough to send me into a deeper stage of need.
I nodded and let out a small mew. I wanted him so badly I could barely stand it.
"Oh, honey." He grinned at me.
He slid his finger into me, and I erupted into another moan before he started moving his finger in a come hither motion.
It was almost too much.
"Are you sure you want a man like me to put even a finger on you?"
"A man like you?"
"A monster like me."
"You are not a monster." Maybe he was, I didn't know. I couldn't even think about that now. All I could think about was him down there teasing me.
He bent down and put his mouth on me, his hot lips on my wet pussy. So much sensation all at once and all of it was so overwhelming. I squirmed and bucked against him, but I didn't fight him.
My eyes widened in shock, but after a moment it was like I never wanted him to stop. He started slow, licking softly, the warmth of his mouth meeting my own heat. His juices mingling with mine as he bore down on me and started lapping at me, hitting my clit over and over, his finger working in and out of my slit.
I didn't last very long, and before I knew it I was shaking, my whole body overloaded with sensation. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before.
I cried out, screaming and shaking until he was over me, holding me while I tried to catch my breath.
It was when he kissed my cheeks that I realized there were tears in my eyes.
"Has a man ever done that to you before?" he asked, looking into my eyes. He knew the answer before I ever told him. He knew the truth. I shook my head no. Never. He paused for a minute and then looked up at me.
"You are the first."
"Was I your first?" he asked.
I didn't answer. I didn't have to. It was all out there now.
He pushed a strand of hair out of my face. "Come here." He held me close, not letting me go.
"Janson, I want so much more," I said as I looked up into his eyes.
"I have all that I want right now. Slow down, Kat. We have time." He brushed a strand of hair out of my face, and I knew for the first time that I was looking into his soul. It wasn't dark; it wasn't monstrous.
It was everything I'd ever wanted.
"Just let me hold you. It doesn't have to be about that, baby. It doesn't have to be about anything but you and me right now. I want to fuck you so bad, but there will be plenty of other opportunities to make you mine." He grinned. "Like tomorrow morning. Right now I want us to take our time. I want it to be right." He was so fucking perfect for me I couldn't stand it. "You're mine now."
We laid like that. We didn't talk. He just held me, his cock hard against my thigh until his breathing changed, slow deep breaths indicating that he was asleep, his boxers and shirt still on him. It was just us and the stars under that Baltimore sky. I didn't want it to ever change. Janson was everything I needed, at least at that moment.
My body was too wracked to try and understand the implications of his words, so I nuzzled into him and let my own exhaustion wash over me.
To hell with my father, my brother, and the rest of the world. All I wanted to do was exist in his, at least for a little while.
Janson
Kat was mine.
I wasn't sure if it was because I knew I was the first to have her, or if it was meant to happen all along, but a protective streak lit through me as I clutched Kathryn to my body. She was mine. She was going to be mine. I couldn't let her go. Not now.
Maybe not ever.
I would protect her no matter what. From anyone that would threaten her. I knew at that moment, looking up at those stars, that I would keep her safe for as long as possible. I couldn't promise forever, but a part of me wanted to.
A part of me I tried so hard to bury deep down inside.
I scooped her up as soon as she fell asleep and padded into my bedroom, laying her on my bed and tucking her in. She was so gorgeous when she was sleeping. So serene. It almost made me forget the anger that always bubbled up under my skin that called me to job after job. It almost made me want to leave that life behind.
Almost.
I could never leave that part of my soul behind, even if I wanted to. It was a part of me. The mob was a part of me. I knew that better than anyone else. I'd been trained to be the killer I was from the day I was born. I was an enforcer first, and then I rose higher and higher alongside Greyson. It was meant to be this way.
I was meant to be this person.
But I had to find a way to have her in my life, even with this knowledge. I had to figure out how we could all come to a good end.
And I had to make sure that my father and her father would never hurt her. I pressed through the pain in my back, the nerve damage that was a subtle reminder of all the times he used my back as an ashtray. I hated that man, and yet he had such a hold over me.
The pain boiled up in my brain as I turned and walked out of the room.
I needed to go to work. I needed a human punching bag.
I'd figure everything else out later.
Chapter Seven
Kathryn
I pulled the covers off my body and sat up, basking in the warm glow of the sunlight that streamed through the windows. Where Greyson's apartment was modern, Janson's was industrial. Brick wall with all the adornments of the old factory. Knobs that once turned water on and off were now hooks to hang things, old pipes set up as racks in the bedroom and bathroom for towels and clothing. It was gorgeous and so well thought out.
I wondered what he was doing wasting his time with the mob. This apartment complex was genius. I didn't know much about that sort of thing, but even I wanted to live there. I grabbed a robe that was three sizes too big and wrapped it around myself. It smelled like Janson, and from the way it dragged on the floor past my feet, it had to have been his. I breathed it in and tried to remember all of last night, but I just kept remembering the way he held me. He didn't force anything, and we'd already had sex. He was so much more … gentle than I expected.
So damn good.
I expected to see him in the kitchen, or the living room. Somewhere. But the space was completely empty except for a breakfast spread that had been laid out.
And a note.
Have a long day of work, some issues have come up. Had to slip out early. Breakfast was delivered, enjoy. See you tonight.
Janson
My fingers traced over his signature, the big "J" all the way to the little "n". At least he left me a note. Breakfast. It was like I suddenly understood what he meant and I stood up, walking over to the display of food on the kitchen island. I was starving and I had no idea when they were going to ship me back to that decrepit little safe house. Breakfast and a bath. That was exactly what I needed. Bath first, I decided. I desperately wanted one of those first.
Before I walked over, I noticed a little black smartphone with a post-it attached. "This is yours, do not lose it. -J"
I scrolled through the contacts. There were just three. Janson, Greyson, and Joanna. The three people in this world who knew I existed back home.