"I want you, Janson."
"How much?" he asked.
"Enough that I am willing to go against everything, against the family, in order to have you." I kissed his neck and that only seemed to be fuel to the fire. He walked through the condo and back to the bedrooms, opening what I assumed was the master suite and set me down next to the bed so that I could stare up at him.
"What are you doing?" I asked as I kissed his neck.
"Admiring the view." I didn't need to turn around in order to see that there was another glass wall like the one in the living room of the condo. The city lights that shown in illuminated everything.
I kissed him again, showing him just how much I wanted him. All of that emotion. All of that need, that fear, all that raw passion.
"As beautiful as you look in that silky little number, I want to see you out of it."
I wasn't wearing anything under the gown, and as soon as it was gone, I would be completely exposed to him, so I hesitated. He looked at me expectantly, but I didn't move.
I swear there was just a bit of agitation in his eyes as I stood there. The kind that made him angry.
He was even sexier when he was angry.
"Take off the gown, Kat." He grabbed the straps of it and pushed them down my shoulders, revealing my bare arms. I pushed it down, though, past my breasts so that it hung on my hourglass frame. I was small, but my frame was curvy, and I really liked that I had hips.
"Even more beautiful than I imagined." He reached down and pushed it further, each little bit of satin giving way to my delicate skin.
"So beautiful," he murmured, kissing down my skin. "So, very beautiful." He sunk his teeth into my shoulder, the strong bite of him making me moan and buck as I fought to remove the rest of the gown.
I didn't want to let my fear show, not any of it. I'd lived away from home for months, I'd always been a brave woman, but I'd never …
I swallowed. I'd never been with a man before. I wanted it to be Janson. Always fantasized it would be. I mean, sure, I'd done things with guys, but never this.
Never this.
"You have no idea how much I've been dreaming about this." The words slipped out of my mouth before I realized I was saying them. I reached up to his oxford shirt and started unbuttoning it. His jacket was off when I came into the room and I spread my hands across his muscles in between buttons. Oh dear god, he was so fucking sexy.
"Kathryn," he said slowly as he grabbed his shirt and shucked it off, "you need to know exactly what you are getting into. I won't be easy with you, I won't be gentle. I can't be. I'm not the kind of man-"
I silenced him with a kiss. I didn't want him to know the fear running through my veins, didn't want him to see how I was feeling inside. I just wanted to feel him inside of me. I didn't want to think about anything else.
"I don't care, Janson. I want you. I'll take you any way I can get you." I meant it as I said it, but the worry that he would be too rough was already seeping into me. I couldn't tell him, couldn't let him know the truth. Because if I did, I would never have him.
But I could tell from the way he spread my thighs and growled out my name that it was something he wanted to hear. I knew the truth about who he was. About what he was. I wasn't oblivious to the life he led, I wasn't immune to the truth of it all. He was a stone cold killer, just like the rest of them. Except for the soulful look in his eyes. It made me see something more. It always had.
I reached for his pants and unbuckled them, but his own hands took over and he kissed me as he expertly removed them.
I snuck a peek as I pulled away from him. I'd done some things with guys, sure, but never a man as big as that. Holy fuck, he was huge. I gulped air in as I admired him and then looked back up into his eyes.
I must've been white as a sheet because he grinned with a fierceness that said only one thing. He was taking pleasure in my fear.
Janson grabbed me and pushed me down onto the bed so that my back was flat against it. "Fuck, Kat. I want you so bad that I can't wait any longer." He kissed my earlobe and then down my entire jaw, leaving little bites as he caressed my body with his hands.
"Janson," I said as I arched my back into him. Fuck. He knew exactly the right ratio of pleasure and pain to make me want more. Everyone else had always treated me with kid gloves. Afraid I would shatter if they touched me. But he wasn't doing that, no. He was giving me exactly what I wanted, exactly how I wanted it. "I want you now."
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me as he grabbed my hips and lined himself up. Fuck. I felt him as he entered me inch by inch, softly, slowly, testing before continuing. It hurt, but just for a moment as I adjusted, and all the pleasure that followed it was worth it. My moan was entirely unintelligible as he thrust into me. Janson was so big and strong inside of me, pressing against the walls of my pussy as he filled me.
That was when all signs of gentleness ended, though. His nails dug into me and he thrust himself into me over and over again, his cock quick to plunge into my depths. It was totally overwhelming; every sense I had was completely focused on him. Oh, the way he made me feel. I couldn't think, I couldn't talk, I couldn't do anything but feel. All there was in this world was him and me. Nothing else was there. Nothing else mattered.
And it lit something inside of me that I didn't know existed.
I moaned and pulled him into me, digging my nails into his back. As he arched his back, he buried himself further into me, making me moan in return. Janson bent down and kissed my neck, giving me a sharp bite at just the right time, the kind that made me scream in pleasure and pain.
He was so damn good at this.
"More, Janson. More," I moaned, begging for him to push harder. Faster. And he did. He didn't hold back, not even a little bit, as he shifted our positions, so that my legs were propped up over his shoulders and he was drilling into me. Fuck. I could see the look in his eyes. It was like he was possessed by someone else. Something else.
But he didn't stop and he didn't let up until I was cumming and screaming his name, pressing myself into the bed, bunching them up and grabbing his sheets and twisting them up.
I screamed out again, bucking into him as he came along with me. Our pleasure shared, he sunk into the bed and pulled me into his arms. They were so strong as he held me there against him.
I let myself be wrapped up in him.
"This has to stay between us, Janson. It has to be a secret," I said, my words calculated. "I don't know what they would do if they found out."
"I think we can handle it," he said as he kissed my neck. "I won't tell if you won't."
Janson
I hadn't meant for this to happen, but holding her close in my arms, I didn't regret anything. She looked so peaceful with her eyes half closed, her breathing heavy. She was falling asleep in my arms and I didn't want to move. I didn't want to breathe. It might cause her to shift away from me. So many nights I spent clutching my pillows, my screams, my terror keeping me from sleep, but with her in my arms, my eyelids already felt heavy. A woman in my arms, that was the only thing that kept the demons of the night away. The only thing that kept the truth of my life from overwhelming me.
I had a feeling it was going to be one of my few peaceful nights.
"Janson?" Kathryn murmured, her voice trailing off at the end of my name.
"What, Kat?" I asked as I brushed back a strand of her hair.
"You can't tell Greyson. You can't tell anyone." She gripped me tighter and her breathing got heavier. We'd already gone over this once, but she was scared.
I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was terrified of him finding out.
His name was like ice injected into my veins. Fuck. He was going to kill me. If he didn't, his father would. And I wasn't exaggerating. They'd torture me, then tie cement blocks to my feet and leave me in the fucking Bay.
I knew that was the truth because I'd been the one to tie the blocks, I'd seen the terrified faces of men who crossed the family and didn't live to do it twice.
I knew the kind of animalistic rage that pushed a man to murder. Greyson was no stranger to slaughter and neither was I.
So this was going to have to remain our little secret.
"I won't utter a word," I said as I clutched her. I knew this was a mistake, but I could deal with it in the morning. "Like we agreed."
I never expected this, never expected to have a secret I needed so desperately to keep. I'd stolen her from her family, I'd taken her away into my own little world, and there was no way I was going to let her go. My possessive nature took over as I clung to her and I knew the truth. I hadn't gotten enough of her, not yet.