"I'll go with you tonight, but I'm not coming home to Baltimore."
"I'll take that. For now." The way Janson said it, I had a feeling there was no choice in the matter anyway. If I had turned him down, he would've gone caveman on my ass.
Not like anyone would notice.
"Fine."
Janson
I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, my fingers running along the threads of the stitched leather. I avoided Kathryn as soon as she hit eighteen. She'd always had a silly little crush on me, and as soon as she was old enough to be an option, I couldn't help but notice her.
She was gorgeous, and even in this unkempt state, I couldn't ignore it.
The way those jeans hugged that tight ass and her plaid shirt dipped down into her cleavage...
Fuck.
She was barely an adult. I couldn't think about her like this. It was wrong.
And yet my cock was getting rock hard as I tried to focus on the road. I didn't know the streets of Chicago like I did Baltimore, and I couldn't afford the distraction.
There were a lot of things I couldn't afford. We had a war brewing, and I should've been there helping. Not rounding up strays.
I was mad about the whole thing and that only made me hornier.
Fuck.
I had to get it out of my head. Get her out of my head.
So I just drove and tried not to even look at her. It was all I could do. I was fucking twisted.
Kathryn
I pulled my shoes off and hesitated. My socks were just as dirty, and under those, my feet wouldn't be much better. I'd been living like a street rat for weeks. I needed a shower, and I knew it. Badly.
"I, um." I hesitated as Janson turned to look at me. "I don't think I can walk on these carpets; I'll get them all dirty."
He chuckled. "All right then. Let me carry you to the bathroom. You can get a shower, and I'll root around and find some clean clothing."
"What about my clothing?" I asked.
"I'm sure they have an incinerator around here somewhere," he joked as he grabbed me and swooped me up into his arms. His big strong muscular arms. He acted like I was nothing. It would be a lie if I didn't admit I'd dreamt of this moment more than once.
I just didn't want to desperately need a bath when it happened.
He crinkled his nose but said nothing, and I was grateful. It was so damn embarrassing.
"That bad?" I asked.
"Smells like you lived in a cloud of pot smoke," he admitted.
"I did." A slow grin broke out over my face, and he walked through the hallway until he got to the bathroom where he set me down.
"Thanks," I said, suddenly awkward.
We both were.
"I'll go see if I can scrounge something up for you." He ducked out of the room, and I turned and tried not to scream in mortification.
I never thought I would see any of the Fitzgerald crew again, let alone Janson Mactavish. I'd washed my hands of that reality. Of men like him.
I turned on the shower and started stripping off my clothing piece by piece. They were not in the best condition, at least that was what I thought, but I realized once they were off that he was right. They needed to be burned.
"Fuck," I muttered as I stepped into the shower, the piping hot water bringing immediate relief. This was a nightmare. I'd come here with such high hopes, but really all I got was a steaming pile of disappointment.
The water beaded down my body as I moaned into the shower walls. It was heaven to feel that strong water cleansing away all the grime of that damn place.
"Kathryn?"
"Kat, call me Kat." I hadn't been Kathryn for years, at least not to anyone but my family.
"Kat, you decent?"
"I'm in the shower." Thankfully, it was fogged up because he came in anyway.
"I brought you a nightgown and a stiff drink. Figured you might need one. I'll leave it here on the cabinet." I wanted him to linger, but he left. My heart returned to its normal pace. I hadn't realized it had sped up.
I wanted him.
My body ached to be touched, to be held, and I knew the truth. I knew what I wanted. I'd spent my entire life letting anyone else, everyone else, tell me exactly what they wanted, and putting my own needs to the side.
Not anymore.
I was going to go after my desires.
I turned off the shower and stepped out of it, drying myself off before I grabbed the satin gown.
It was soft and sleek and I knew when I put it on that it would hug every single curve I had. I pulled it over my head and let it drape down me. It was a good fit. Not perfect, but good, and it hugged me in all the right places.
I grabbed the whiskey with one hand and opened the door with the other. I knew what I wanted, and I'd decided in the shower that there was no more time to waste.
I would have it.
I would have him.
Chapter Two
Kathryn
I walked into the living room to find Janson sitting on the couch that overlooked the lake. It really was breathtaking. So I sipped my drink and stared out over the landscape below. The city lights twinkled off the reflection in the lake, the cool wind blowing on the trees below us.
"It's gorgeous."
"Almost as nice as the Bay," he said as he stood and walked towards the window.
"You have a penthouse like Greyson?" I asked, looking at him through the side of my eye.
"Yeah, something like that." His eyes lingered over me and I felt myself blush. He was looking at me in a way I hadn't seen before. Like he was seeing me as an adult for the first time. The deep hues of his green eyes flickered across my body and down me, then back up.
Oh, he was seeing me, all right. And I wanted him to. I felt my body respond to him, and my nipples hardened against the silky satin of the nightgown. I knew he could see it, too. But I just stood there, my eyes half-lidded as I looked at him and said, "It's so gorgeous."
"Yes, it is." He wasn't looking at the view, he was looking right at me. It was my only chance, so I walked over to him and he stood so close to me that I could feel the body heat radiating from him. I could smell the scotch on his breath. He'd been drinking.
"Why does it seem like you aren't talking about the view anymore?" I asked as I bit my lower lip and took him all in. He wasn't looking anywhere else but at me.
It was wrong. We both knew it, but I'd wanted him for so long.
"Kathryn," he said as he prepared his speech. The one that would shoot me down. I wasn't going to let that happen, so I grabbed him around the neck and I forced my lips to his, hoping he wouldn't push me away.
It was bold, like the new me. The one I wanted to be.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled the kiss deeper, harder. Janson's fingers dug into my flesh as he plastered my body against his, his breaths coming out in ragged pants between kisses.
I wasn't the only one that had been holding back. I could feel how much he wanted me in the warmth of his strong hold, not to mention the rock hard bulge in his pants that pressed right up against my belly.
"Kathryn," he said slowly as he pried himself away from me. "We can't do this."
"Yes. Yes, we can," I said as kissed his jaw. He didn't separate further.
He smelled so good and was so warm against my skin. I knew that this wasn't my life. I didn't belong here. But for tonight, I could pretend it was. Pretend I could have exactly what I wanted.
And I wanted him.
"Fuck," he swore as he breathed my scalp in deep. "You can't possibly want this. Want me. You don't know what you are getting yourself into." He sounded so conflicted that I almost felt sorry for him, but I was too damn hot for him.
"I don't care, Janson. I've wanted you for years. I begged you to look at me, look at me the way you did tonight. I want that. I want now. I don't care about the rest."
I wanted that. I wanted that more than anything, but my worries wouldn't go away.
Until he kissed me one more time, his strong arms holding me as he washed away all my worries. All my problems.
And that was okay.
"You have no idea how tempting you were," he said slowly. "From the time you turned eighteen, I knew I'd have to keep my distance. Knew I'd want you just as badly if I let myself be swayed."
I melted, his inability to say no fueled by the responses of my body. The heat flushed through me and flooded my most sensitive areas. The sticky wet feeling that followed it all too familiar.
My body lusted after him and there was nothing I could do. I just had to enjoy the ride.
So I did.
I kissed him deeply, my tongue invading his mouth, letting me know his passion. He was responsible for what happened next.
"Fuck it, I want you too much," Janson said as he grabbed me and picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. It was undignified, but completely sexy. "Tell me that you want me."