I wanted to slow time until it came to a screeching halt just so that I could be lost in those arms forever. I didn't want to have to think about the ex or the baby. I just wanted to be with him at that very moment, feeling nothing but his skin, thinking about what he was going to do to me next.
"Do you know what I'd do if I ever lost you, Willow? If he ever hurt you again?"
I hadn't told him the truth of it. I hadn't told him all of it, and I didn't want to. Not tonight. Not now.
I was still keeping secrets, but they would all come out. I'd tell him when I was ready. I'd tell him everything.
Willow
Instead of saying anything, I grabbed him by the neck and I kissed him, losing myself in it. I couldn't tell how long we kissed, it could've been moments or minutes, but I leaned into it and I felt everything I wanted to feel. I clung to the safety of him as I let my passion take over.
He was probably the most dangerous man I'd ever meet, but he was the only one I felt safe with. He was the only one I knew would protect me.
As my hand skittered along the muscles of his torso, I groaned and buried the fingers of the other hand into his hair, drawing him closer. My tongue tangled with his, savoring the taste of bourbon and man. He'd had a drink before coming over here.
I wondered why, then pushed the thought aside.
Zach's hand gripped my shoulders, palms running down my back, teasing my shirt up to expose my flesh to his hand and the cool air of my home. When he held my waist, flesh to flesh, I groaned into his mouth and ground against him. It was crazy, but I wanted him.
He owned me – every breath, every sigh that came from my body as I returned his feverish touch. My hands danced under his shirt, clasping every dip and groove of muscle. Tugging his shirt up and over his head, I grappled with his belt while he untangled me from my own clothing. It was perfect.
It was everything.
There was no time to look. No time to analyze or understand, which was exactly what I wanted. Only the feel of him in the dark, his burning touch and my own desire dancing together in a wild dance that stole my breath.
I couldn't breathe if I wasn't touching him. I couldn't stand another second without him against me.
I hadn't allowed myself to feel this in years, and there was no way in the world I was going to control myself now. So many years of being the good girlfriend. So many years just pretending I was in control when everyone around me had power over me. But this, this was mine. This pleasure was mine.
The games were done.
The dam was broken. It crashed through me, a torrential wave bursting free. He grabbed me and pulled me across my living room to my couch where he pulled me down. I was ready for him. I needed him. Wanted him.
His body sliding in and out of mine released cries of pleasure I had forgotten I could utter. Every moment of it was perfect. His hot mouth on my shoulder, along my throat, upon my own had me grasping his hips hungrily.
My hands unbalanced him, the first I'd ever done. He was so calm, so collected. Ever the soldier, and he was unbalanced. I didn't care. I pushed him over onto his back and climbed atop him, bending over him slowly and licking his lower lip. It was tough maneuvering, but I did well enough with it.
I drew myself up and slid back onto his cock, looking down at him and grinning. I was in control of this moment, of him, and I was loving it.
I felt mischievous and glorious all at the same time. Then I started moving my hips again, my body swallowing his, tight to his thickness, wet to his length. I wanted him so badly that I could feel my orgasm start to rise, but I couldn't stop it. I wasn't ready for it. Not yet.
I wanted more of him.
"Dammit," I cursed as I shook. "I want more."
I cried out in disappointment and pleasure-disappointment that it might all end now and pleasure as he caught what was happening and threw the full force of his strength into me again and again, driving me over the crest and letting me ride it long and steady.
When my body relaxed, he rolled me over onto my back, kissing me as he finished, going slow and firm while my body sang on the leftover high. It could've been awkward, there on the living room couch, but it wasn't. He knew how to do so much in tight spaces. I wondered where he learned it. When I groaned again, tilting my hips so he could rub it just right, he let me, and when my wet body rose to meet his, still hungry, he sped up and got his own.
"Yes," I cried as I gripped him hard and let him pound me into another orgasm, this one more satisfying than the last.
When it was over, he fell beside me, both of us breathing hard and shivering.
My chest heaved while I struggled for air, my body shaking as he held me close.
When we had finally caught our breath, he laughed softly. "All this time, I imagined sex that could be this good, but I never imagined it would be with you. I thought you were gone from my life for good."
I reached up and kissed his cheek then tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "I'm glad I came back. I'm glad I'm here."
And I meant it. I didn't want or need anything else when he was there, even for a short while. But the truth came flooding back to me. About Elijah. About the baby.
Fuck.
What the hell was I going to do?
Chapter Fourteen
Zach
I'm going to kill Elijah.
That was the first thing that ran through my head as I got up and started dressing. Willow was lying next to me, her body cuddled up against mine as she slept. She looked so sweet lying there, half dead to the world.
It should've been enough to bring me back to reality and convince me why murdering the son of a very prominent political figure was a bad idea. But it wasn't.
I was dressing all while envisioning him hanging from the roof of his hotel, or dead in a glorious mess somewhere remote and dark. It was sick and it was twisted but it was where I was.
I never said I was the good guy, after all.
But the more I stared at her, the more I realized that wouldn't be enough. I couldn't just kill him and expect to come back from that. I killed in the line of duty, I killed as part of missions I was hired for, and I'd shot down cold-blooded murderers, but I'd never stalked a man and killed him like a fucking hitman.
That wasn't who I was, and that wasn't who she would want. I wanted to protect the woman that I loved at all costs. The woman that I loved.
I loved Willow.
The statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I loved her. I was fucking in love with her. It was insane. I told myself not to, and I still fucking walked right into it. I knew it would be complicated. Hell, I was always at work. Always on call. And it was a dangerous job.
That should've been enough to keep me away from her, but it wasn't. I didn't even fucking resist. And now I was in love.
I slipped on my pants and grabbed my phone. Shit. Leo had called three times.
Work never stopped.
I walked out of the living room and onto the porch as I dialed his number.
"Leo?" I asked before he had a chance to speak. "What do you need?"
"You. Can you get here, now?"
"Why?"
"That meeting that was supposed to be tomorrow is now tonight. I need you here. Not your men, as much I feel they would protect me. Do you think you can do that?"
"I'm already out the door and on my way." She would have to wait for another night, as would all the things I wanted to tell her.
I had work to do.
Willow
The first sensation I had when I woke up was emptiness.
Deep in the pit of my stomach it felt like a part of my soul was missing. I didn't know why I felt that way or what prompted it, but when I reached for Zach, he was gone, and he left a big gaping hole where he should've been.
The second thing I felt was fear, and that was when I realized I was bleeding. I reached my hand down and saw the blood. Oh God. Not a lot, but it was where it shouldn't have been. Panic rose up in my throat like a scream that couldn't be stifled. I stood up and looked around the room. I was utterly alone.
I'd never even told him about the baby, and it might already be gone.
I fought back tears as I searched for my phone. I turned over couch cushions and blankets and clothing until I found it in my jacket pocket.
Dialing furiously, I held on to one last shred of hope.
"What's up, Willow?" Ruby answered. I let out a breath. Thank God.
"I need your help. I need you to come and get me," I said, my voice coming out in rushed breaths. I'd called my best friend instead of Zach, but I didn't know what to do.
"Why?" she asked.
"I need to go to the hospital. I'm bleeding," I answered.