I froze, unable to believe what I was seeing.
In the middle of the stack were two exercise books covered in silver paper and decorated with stickers bearing the dates, and a sprinkling of gold stars.
There was no mistaking what they were: Dawn’s missing diaries! But what on earth were they doing in Josh’s kitchen?
Eighteen
For a moment my mind was a total blank. I think I even stopped breathing! I flipped open the first of the exercise books, and recognized the rounded, childlike writing. It certainly was one of Dawn’s missing diaries. But that made no sense at all. If she’d taken it to Dorset before the fire, as her mother had said, then that explained how it had survived when most of her possessions had been destroyed. But how had it come to be in Josh’s possession? He hadn’t known Dawn; he’d only taken the job at the Gazette in the last year – after Dawn had left Stoke Compton.
Or at least, that was what he’d told me.
Now I came to think about it, though, I realized it was one of the very few things I knew about Josh – or thought I knew. He’d given me the impression that he’d come here from another provincial newspaper, but he hadn’t provided any details. He’d always been vague, and whenever the subject had come up he’d sidestepped it. Now, suddenly, I was wondering why. Mum and Rachel had both mentioned the fact that I knew next to nothing about him, and I’d pooh-poohed their doubts. But had I been so blown away by him that I simply hadn’t wanted to allow myself to think it was a little odd? Perhaps, after all, they had been right to be cautious.
Who was Josh? In reality, I didn’t have a clue. I’d taken him totally on trust, and now that trust had been well and truly shaken. If he had known Dawn – and with her diary staring up at me, I thought he must – but had led me to believe he had never met her, what else was he keeping from me?
My thoughts whirling in a muddy maelstrom, I glanced down at the pages.
I’d become familiar by now with Dawn’s style of writing. I read a couple of entries, but registered nothing beyond the fact that this volume was clearly a continuation of the one that Grace had allowed me to borrow. The abbreviated names were the same, the secret meetings with Lewis were still continuing, and there was the occasional mention of some unusual activity at the warehouse – the dates underlined in red – and the mysterious ‘associate’ as Dawn was now referring to him.
Then one entry leaped out at me.
More action at the warehouse – it’s all happening again. Now know Lewis’s associate is JW – the last person I’d have thought was a crook! He’s so charming! JW of all people!
JW. I went cold all over. JW – Josh Williams. Oh surely – surely not! Even when I’d found Dawn’s diary here in his kitchen it hadn’t for one moment occurred to me. Josh wasn’t a criminal, or even a crooked businessman. He was a newspaper photographer! Or was that just a cover? An excuse to be here in Stoke Compton, close to the hub of whatever it was he was involved in?
Suddenly I was remembering the day I’d driven round the industrial estate and seen what I’d thought was his car parked outside the warehouse. I’d told myself it couldn’t be, that he was off walking the Cotswold Way. But was that another lie? Another part of the smoke and mirrors? How did I know for sure that that was where he’d been? When he’d phoned me each evening, he could have been calling from anywhere. Just because he’d told me he was in a B & B somewhere in Gloucestershire didn’t mean he was.
My thoughts were racing now, keeping pace with the thudding of my heart. I thought of all the times Josh had warned me off pursuing my investigation. He’d led me to believe it was because he was concerned for my safety, but could it have been that he’d been worried I might learn the truth about what was going on? The very first time we’d met had been in the Gazette office when I was researching all I could about the fire. He’d been really helpful then, but was that because he’d wanted to worm his way into my confidence so that he would be aware of what progress I was making? Had he cultivated me for the same reason?
I thought back to the first time he asked me out – he’d been following me down the High Street, seen me heading for Compton Properties. ‘So – you’re still on the trail,’ he’d said. I’d thought nothing of it at the time. Now it struck me as very odd. If he hadn’t known Dawn, how had he known there was a connection? The last thing I wanted to believe was that the reason he’d been dating me was so that he could keep an eye on me and keep himself informed of what I was finding out, but there was no escaping the horrible suspicion. Oh, surely I couldn’t have been so wrong about the electric attraction between us, his tenderness towards me, my own feelings for him? Or had it all been an illusion I’d conjured up because, as Mum and Rachel had said, I was on the rebound from Tim?