A Power of Old(10)

I stayed silent, waiting for him to elaborate. I felt the old distance seeping in between us—and the worst thing was that I felt powerless to stop it.

“I had heard a rumor, an old tale really, that when a sentry married outside their species, the non-sentry would transform into…one of us. I half-believed it, and checked with a minister to see if it was true. He told me that it was—that part of the marriage ceremony bonded the couple in a certain way. It was why I told you to stay away.” His breath hitched. “I didn’t want this for you.”

He dragged his hands through his hair, his expression tortured.

“I-I don’t understand,” I stuttered. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I knew that you loved me. I didn’t want you to have to make that choice. I knew you had a life mapped out for yourself—one that didn’t include me or Nevertide. And then… I couldn’t bear for you to choose your life, and destroy mine by leaving.”

It was selfish of him – taking away my choices like that, but I couldn’t say he didn’t warn me about that aspect of his character. He had warned me time and time again, and I had ignored him, I had loved him anyway and not taken no for an answer.

Where does that leave me now?

Still in love with him.

I’m an idiot.

“You had no right to make that choice for me. You should have told me—even if you thought it was just a marriage ceremony, you should have said something. You knew there was a chance something like this could happen.”

“I know.”

“And you did it anyway.”

“Yes.”

At least he was honest.

When he looked up at me, I could hardly meet his eyes. There was so much sorrow in them—only a few hours ago they had been looking up at me from bed, sparkling. Now they were black, endless wells of misery.

“I… I have fallen in love with you, Hazel,” he stated, calmly. “It was never my intention—I tried to protect you.”

“But you don’t know how to! You treat me like I’m incapable of making up my own mind! And now you’ll never know—you’ll never know if, despite knowing what I would lose, I would still have chosen you.”

Would I?

I didn’t know anymore. I couldn’t see the choice clearly. I felt like he hadn’t trusted me enough to love him back, not really – he hadn’t trusted me to make the choice on my own. Now all I felt was a raging need for his energy, and for the past few hours to be completely wiped away—for me to be back entwined in his limbs, his body touching mine.

The fight went out of me.

I wasn’t sure I entirely liked what I had become, but there was no point trying to pretend that if he had given me the choice I would have completely dismissed the chance of a future together…

“What happens now?” I asked. “The hunger—does it remain like this? Will I always feel this way?”

“No. It will fade. I’ll help you overcome this, Hazel – I promise.”

“And when will I be able to be around my friends?”

“It might take some time to be near them without wanting to syphon off them. You need to learn how to control your urges. We can practice. You can use me.”

“Not without hurting you, I can’t,” I pointed out.

“You’ll learn.”

I was hesitant to accept his offer. I at least wanted to wait till he was back to full health—Tejus himself had told me that sentries had rapid healing powers, but as far as I could see, he hadn’t recovered from the ghoul attack yet.

“When Benedict came into the room, he tried to syphon off you and then stopped, like your energy wasn’t strong enough. What was that about?”

“I’m still not healed.”

“But you must have more energy than someone like Yelena. She’s only a kid.”

“Children are often more potent—that’s why many of the humans captured from Earth were young. It makes sense that Benedict would choose her, especially as he has syphoned off her before. As you know, it makes the process easier the second time around.”

I nodded, understanding, but it still felt like he wasn’t telling me the full story.

“I don’t know why I’m still wounded,” he continued. “I was certain that Queen Trina was harmed by the ghouls, but she seemed fine at the meeting. It’s infuriating.”

His jaw tightened, and he glared down at the floor.

“Is there anyone you can see? I know you didn’t want to get the ministers involved earlier, but maybe it’s a good idea?”

Tejus grimaced.

“They’re not actually my ministers anymore. No doubt one of them could take a look, but I really don’t think they’ll be able to help. It will go away in time—like your hunger.”