His brows lifted in disbelief. "Being on top lets you think you're controlling me?"
She let his arrogance slide to say, "Yeah. I mean, why should I make it too easy on you?"
He snorted. "Let me assure you, Arizona, you have never been easy, not in any way."
"And," she said, talking over him, "before you answer, know this-if you turn me down again, I'm going to feel really rejected."
His big hand cupped the side of her face. "No man in his right mind could ever reject you."
Relief turned her bones to noodles. "So is doing it my way a problem?"
"Lights on, with you on top?"
"That's how it has to be."
Understanding softened his stern expression. "Doesn't sound like too much of a hardship."
Was he mocking her? Arizona rolled over atop him. "Is this going to be fun, Spencer? Because seriously, you don't look real excited." She pressed a firm but fast kiss to his mouth. "I want it to be fun."
"Got it. Well-lit, you in the dominant position-and plenty of laughs. Any other demands?"
Her temper sparked. "You don't like the stipulations? Fine. Forget it." She started to roll away.
"So bossy." He caught her, holding her still against him while fighting a smile. "I like your stipulations just fine."
"Baloney."
"I want to see you, Arizona. Hell, I'm dying to see you. So lights on would be my preference anyway. And you over me just gives me a better view."
She hadn't thought of that.
He focused on her mouth. "Far as the laughs go, well, I'm hoping I don't inspire hilarity, but I very much want you to enjoy yourself. What do you think?"
She scowled at him. "You're sure?"
"I know trust doesn't come easy for you." Slowly, tenderly, he smoothed back her long hair. "You might want to remember that I only want the best for you. In all things."
Oh, she could hardly wait. "All-righty, then." Hesitant on how to proceed, she asked, "Should I get naked now?"
His hands moved down her spine to the small of her back-then just rested there. "Is that what you want to do?"
His patience wasn't helping to put her at ease. Why couldn't he be a little more … frenzied? Like she was? "I don't know. It's what I normally did when-"
His hand covered her mouth. Face tight, his expression a little pained, he drew another breath. "I want you to forget all that."
Fat chance. Did it bother him more than it bothered her? Seemed possible. For a big macho protector like him, it'd be a tough reality to get past.
She took his wrist and pulled his hand away. "Are you trying to forget?"
He opened his mouth-then frowned. With regret, he said, "We're rushing things."
"So?" If he'd rush a little more, they could be halfway through it already.
"You need to get a shower."
Was he already pulling back? Well, he could forget it. "Shower with me."
He shook his head. "Why did I think you'd be more reasonable sober?"
"No idea." She ran her hands over his chest. She loved the feel of his crisp chest hair. "You must not have been paying attention." She also loved the feel of his strong bones and firm muscles, and just looking at him made her insides quiver.
She wanted to do this, she really did.
"Oh, I've paid attention all right. Count on it."
Having no idea what he meant by that, she leaned down and teased her nose over him. His scent left her more intoxicated than the whiskey had. "I gotta tell you, Spence, you are one sexy dude."
His smile came reluctantly. "Thank you." Then he caught her and eased her back. "But I think maybe I should shower and shave, and-"
"You're looking for excuses, aren't you?" Disgruntled, she scowled at him. "You sure you want me?"
"Very sure." He again looked at her mouth. "More than I've ever wanted anything."
That surprised her. So did he mean, like, more than he had wanted Marla? And what about his wife? And that bimbo he'd been cuddled up to in the bar last night? Or did he just mean recently? "So you're saying-"
"I want you, Arizona Storm. Never doubt it. I'm dying to kiss you, to get you naked-even though you smell of stale whiskey."
"I do?" But of course she did. Unwilling to breathe on him more, she pursed her mouth. Good grief. She hadn't even thought about that.
He smiled. "I want you even though you have makeup all around your eyes." Regret replaced the smile. "And a few colorful bruises."
She scowled, then pushed up to sit on the bedding. "The bruises bother you?"
"Of course they do, because it means you got hurt again." He came up beside her and stroked her hair over her shoulder. "I'm going to kiss each and every one of them. It won't really help, but it'll make me feel better."
He sounded all husky and affected, and that affected her. "It'll make me feel better, too."
He pressed small kisses along her jaw, to her ear and then over her shoulder. "You sure about that, honey?"
She shivered. "What do you mean?"
He continued kissing her, soft, damp kisses in surprising places that left behind a tiny tingle. "Forget about your past for a minute, okay?"
Not really possible, but she shrugged. "Yeah, okay."
"Do you understand what I want to do to you? How different it's going to be?"
She thought she'd known, but now … "Um … maybe?"
"You're trying to rush through things, but I want to take it slow." He lifted her hair away, and she felt his tongue on her nape, then the edge of his teeth. "I'm glad you want the room well-lit, because I want to look my fill."
"Me, too." She couldn't wait to explore his big, strong body.
His hand touched the inside of her knee, drifted up her inner thigh.
Sensation chased ahead of his fingertips; anticipation left her breathless.
But he stopped short.
With his mouth touching her temple, he whispered, "I want to touch you, and kiss you. All over."
Her stomach seemed to tumble. "All over?"
"Yeah." His smile came slow and easy. "Everywhere."
The way he said that curled her toes.
"I want to know your taste, and I want to breathe in your scent. Here." He nuzzled the side of her neck. "And here." He trailed a finger down between her breasts. "And especially here." His hand opened low over her belly.
She bit back a groan.
Then he put some space between them. "And as hard as it'll be to hold back, I don't want to be rushed. You won't want me to be rushed."
None of that sounded like what she'd expected based on her experiences. "I don't see … "
"It's early yet. We have hours before we need to leave for Dare's."
Oh, crap. Her birthday gathering. She'd forgotten all about that.
He brought her chin around to look into her eyes. "It's not as long as I'd like. I'd rather have the whole day to focus on you, to show you how things should really be. But we'll spend what time we have in bed. So if there's anything you want to do beforehand, I suggest you do it now."
She gave it quick thought-and decided she needed a few minutes to get a grip. "Okay, so how about I go shower and you put on coffee, and then we'll take it from there?" She rolled out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. "Make the coffee strong. I think I need it."
"Arizona?"
She paused at the bathroom door, looked back and saw him staring at her backside. "Yeah?"
"I can maybe wait while you drink one cup, tops." His gaze lifted to hers. "After that, I make no promises."
* * *
A SHOWER REVIVED HER physically, but she'd used every single second to go over what Spencer had said and how he'd said it.
Now … now her hands shook, and a slow burn smoldered inside her. She couldn't stop thinking about what they'd do, couldn't keep the visuals from her mind.
She had a feeling Spencer had done that on purpose just to work her up. Diabolical. And oh-so-hot.
Rather than wash her hair and take the time to dry it, she put it in a high ponytail. Wearing a T-shirt and shorts, she sat at the kitchen table and tried to enjoy her coffee.
But Spencer was in the shower now. Naked. And every second that passed torqued her tension a little tighter.
A sweet ache curled inside her.
Her lungs constricted so that she had to breathe harder, faster.
So this was lust? Who knew?
It was better than she'd ever figured. Sure, she knew stuff happened differently between two willing people. She wasn't a dummy. What she'd done as a captive, forced by traffickers, was not at all the norm.