Propped on one elbow, he appeared clear-eyed and alert, as if maybe … he'd been watching her.
For a while now.
As she slept.
Wow.
Her thoughts went chaotic, but then, with Spencer, there was nothing new in that. He often left her brain jumbled and her heart confused. She rather liked it, especially since, before Spence, she'd sometimes doubted she had a heart.
Last night was only a vague memory, her last clear thought of being in the bar and seeing him with another woman.
So how'd they end up in bed together? If they'd done the deed and she couldn't remember it, she would be seriously annoyed.
Suspicious, she looked down at her partially stripped body, then again, more leisurely, at his. Cocking a brow, she tried to brazen through the awkwardness. "Do I need to kick your butt?"
Unconcerned with the implied threat, his tone merely curious, Spencer asked, "For what?"
"Taking advantage of me while I was drunk?"
Smiling, he reached out and tugged on a hank of her long, disheveled hair. "No, baby, you don't."
Baby?
"But I might need to turn you over my knee for trying that very thing."
"Yeah, that'll never happen." Not only wouldn't she allow it, she knew Spencer would never do it. But he had said it, so … "What do you mean?"
"Last night, you tried to insist that I take advantage of you."
"No kidding?" Now that he said it, she sort of remembered making some hot and heavy offers. Before going into the bar she'd decided she wanted him. Shoot, looking at him now, listening to that deep, even voice, being so close to him, she still wanted him.
Big-time.
And why not? She couldn't stay celibate forever, and she did want to be as whole, as normal and functional, as any other adult.
Spencer claimed to want to help her with that-up to a point anyway.
She wasn't going to give up her work, so who knew if she'd end up caught again? Before that happened, it'd be great to know how it should be.
How it could be with Spencer.
His dark eyes warmed even more, and his voice dropped. "You were awfully hard to resist."
"But you resisted anyway, huh?" Jerk. Way to make her feel like chopped liver. He sure hadn't resisted the bimbo at the bar, never mind that he'd been undercover.
"You'd had way too much to drink," he pointed out.
And that was that; he wasn't an opportunist, especially not with women.
Had she thrown herself at him? Looked like a fool? Suffered humiliating rejection? Gawd. Maybe it was better that she not know.
His big hand stopped toying with her hair and instead dropped down to rest warmly on her knee. "I tried to reason with you, but then you passed out on me."
"Here?"
"You don't remember any of it?"
She screwed up her face, thinking hard … "I kicked Carl's butt. I remember that."
"You broke his fingers." His expression darkened with the reminder. "I did the rest."
An indistinct memory intruded. "Dare had something to do with us cutting the night short … " No wait … Her eyes widened. "It's over, isn't it? Dare shut them down?"
Spencer nodded. "He moved in early and took over." He filled her in on the details he had. "You drank so much with Janes, it's a wonder you recall anything."
"Bits and pieces are coming back to me." Curiosity crowded in around the relief of knowing innocents had been saved. "So if nothing happened between us, why am I in bed with you?"
"I thought it'd be prudent to keep you close."
"And … how close were we?" Because really, she'd always figured sleeping with a guy-in the literal sense-would make her too edgy. Sleep meant exposure. Lack of defense. Sleep meant she had her guard down, and she plain didn't do that. Not with anyone.
But then, Spencer wasn't just anyone. Not anymore.
Almost from the moment she'd met him, he'd affected her differently. Sometimes she hated it, but most times, she kind of liked the way he made her feel.
"I enjoyed holding you, Arizona." His thumb moved over her knee. "You're very soft and warm."
No way.
Mistaking her wide-eyed incredulity, he frowned again. "You had a nightmare?"
"One I lived through, yeah."
"About?"
"The river. Almost drowning." She waved it off as insignificant. She'd had that damned dream so often, she'd gotten used to it. "Jackson saving me and all that."
"Damn. I'm sorry."
"Same old, same old." She looked around, saw his jeans on a chair, then lifted the sheet and found she wore only her underwear with her top. Her mouth went a little dry. "So … did you undress me?"
"You did that." He gave the sheet a slight tug. "I was noble and covered you up."
"And then crawled into bed with me?"
"It's my bed."
Right. So he did or didn't want her? She couldn't tell. He seemed different today, maybe more susceptible to intimacy, but she didn't relish the idea of asking, only to be turned down again.
What if he'd only slept with her out of convenience? She tried to broach things subtly. "So … what now?"
"That depends on you."
Interesting. Well, she knew what she wanted to do, but she said nothing and instead just waited.
"You have a hangover?"
"Nope." Running her fingers through her tangled hair, she yawned, then flopped down to her back beside him. "My jaw is a little sore, that's all."
His expression flattened. "A bastard at the bar caught you."
Never would have happened if she'd been sober. But she didn't dwell on that, not now, not with Spencer close enough that the heat of his body touched all along her side.
Her heart started doing that crazy thumping thing again.
She looked over at him. "I'm maybe a little muzzy-brained, but no real aftereffects."
"Good." His dark gaze went to her chest, and his nostrils flared.
She still didn't know where this little morning chat was headed. "You're asking because … ?"
"We have unfinished business from last night."
Awwwwe-some. But to be certain, she asked, "Sex?"
Pausing, he clarified, "You want me?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Good." He leaned toward her.
Yay! But now that Arizona had it confirmed, nervousness set in, and she held him off with one hand. "Hold up, Spence."
That got his attention back on her face. He studied her, and whatever he saw-or thought he saw-banked the fires. "Things look different in the light of day, now that you're clearheaded, don't they?"
"Not really." As yet unmentioned stipulations aside, she still wanted to devour him from head to toe. But he sounded so self-righteous, so … condescendingly male, as if he expected her to act the part of a swooning virgin or something, that she couldn't keep from messing with him a little. "It's just that I can't … I don't … "
"Shh, I know, baby." He drew a deep breath and nodded. "I understand."
"Do you?"
"Of course I do." All too serious, he curled his fingers over hers. "It's okay."
Arizona snickered at his restraint, and when he eyed her with confusion, the laughter bubbled out. "C'mon, Spence. I'm just funning you."
"Funning me?"
Turning on her side to face him, she mimicked his pose with her head braced on a hand. "Of course I'm still game. Shoot, I'm dying to do the nasty with you."
He scrutinized her. "But?"
Boy, he was good at reading her. "But … " Trying to find the right words, she cleared her throat. "The thing is … I need … "
He didn't rush her. He didn't move. It almost looked as if he didn't breathe.
Deciding to just spit it out, she said, "It's gotta be lights on. Me on top. You got a problem with that?"
No reaction.
"Spence?"
He visibly shored up his self-control. "I don't want to pressure you. I don't want you to do anything before you're ready."
"I'm ready. And trust me, I want to do this. I just have a few glitches, that's all."
"Glitches?"
"Like I said, lights on."
"Tell me why."
Seemed obvious to her. "So I can see you-that way, there's no … confusion in my memories."
She saw it in his eyes, the realization that without lights, she would remember other men, doing other things.
Far too grave, Spencer closed his eyes, but only for a moment. "No problem."
He took that so well, she expounded on the rest. "And me on top because, really Spencer, hunky as you are, I still have some trust issues, you know? I gotta know I have control."