A Perfect Blood (The Hollows #10)(27)

“Is that what you think?” he said sharply. “That I’m lazing about? Ignorant of everything that’s going on?” 
“If the bone fits, chew it,” I said, heart pounding but voice calm. “The only reason I’m alive is because of my friends. I know I’m vulnerable, but I’m not helpless, and I don’t like being manhandled. The only reason you got me over your shoulder and down those stairs last night without a broken nose and a fractured wrist is because I didn’t want to hurt you!”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. That is so, you big douche bag. As far as I’m concerned, you can walk out of here and explain to my mom why you’re not cashing her checks—bud-dy.”
I sat back, ticked. Damn it, I still hadn’t gotten any coffee. Now I was going to have to drink whatever the FIB had in their back offices.
Frowning, Wayde looked at my bag. He knew I’d made up some new charms, knew I was prepared this time, knew that he might end up on the floor, unconscious, with no ID and in his underwear, the I.S. responding. Growling something it was probably just as well I didn’t hear, he pulled his coffee closer, almost spilling it.
“I’m going to finish my coffee,” he muttered. “If you aren’t on the back of that bike when I walk out of here, I quit—I will quit, Rachel. I have never worked with a more annoying, self-centered—”
“I am not self-centered,” I interrupted. “I gave you my coffee, didn’t I?”
“—irritating flake of a woman in my entire life,” Wayde finished. “And trust me, I’ve seen some fool women while working your dad’s shows. You think I’m fixing up that belfry because I like heights? I knew Marshal was on the church’s grounds a good three minutes before you did. I also knew exactly who he was, having looked him up the night before after you mentioned having him over. The license numbers matched, and though you are right that I probably should have come down, I thought the risk less than your need to have the illusion of not being watched all the time.”
Excuse me?
“I am good at what I do,” he said, pointing a finger at me. “So good that it looks like I’m not. You think your dad would send some jerk-ass wannabe to protect his only daughter?”
My face was cold. Embarrassed, I scrunched down in the seat. I needed a crowbar to get my foot out of my mouth, I’d jammed it so far down. I had no idea he had moved into the belfry for that reason, much less that he was screening people. “But you keep making newbie mistakes,” I offered lamely. “Breaking that guy’s nose yesterday. Running after me in your boxers.”
Wayde smirked, coffee in hand as he leaned back, his eyes scanning, still scanning. “I broke that guy’s nose because he disrespected you and it pissed me off,” he said, making me feel about three inches tall. “That, and to get that undead vampire’s eyes off Ivy. She’s come too far out of her addiction to be pulled back in by a bored lamprey. The boxers, though . . .” He hesitated, the rims of his ears going as red as his straggly beard. “You got me there. That was a mistake. I should have been dressed. I never imagined you would leave. Without telling me.”
His accusation was clear, and I winced. “I’m really sorry,” I said, meaning it. “I am an oblivious ass, and I don’t blame you if you leave. Please stay. I won’t doubt you again.”
My eyes flicked up as Wayde leaned forward over the table. He was smiling. That was one of the things I loved about Weres. You didn’t have to say much, but you had to mean it. “Apology accepted,” he said, scratching his stubble like a dorm student after an all-nighter. “If you’re ready to work with me now, I have just one question.”I waited, cringing. He could ask me anything right now, and with me feeling the way I did, I’d answer him with self-humiliating honesty. I’d been wrong, so wrong, and yet he sat there ready to let it go. I owed my dad a huge thank-you and Wayde a great deal more respect.
“Tell me why you walked off this morning,” he said, and I blinked, caught off guard.
Wayde put one arm on the table. “Walking out like that was stupid.” I took an angry breath, and he added, “All right. You’re not as helpless as I’ve been making out . . . obviously.” He frowned at my shoulder bag. “But what you did was the out-of-the-ordinary crap that smart people die from. I want to know why. I can’t fill in the gaps of your security if I don’t know how you’re going to react.”
My shoulders slumped. Shit.
Wayde leaned closer. “What happened?”
Avoiding him, I sought out Mark, on the floor arranging shiny bags of coffee. “Hey, can you make another one of these?” I asked him when our eyes met. “And put a shot of raspberry in it?”
Saying nothing, Mark frowned and stiffly went behind the counter. I looked at Wayde across from me, startled by the expression of sympathy in his eyes. “I, ah, had to get out of there,” I said, and Wayde leaned back, waiting.
“To prove you could after I got the best of you last night,” he said, and I shook my head.
“Yes. No. I left because everyone is moving forward in their lives. Without me.”
Wayde rolled his eyes. “You left because your roommate is sharing blood and having sex with someone besides you?” he mocked. “She’s a vampire! You don’t want that. What’s really bothering you?”
“Just forget I said anything,” I said, feeling hurt as Mark approached with a grande. Both Wayde and I were silent as he set the cup down and I handed the guy a five. “Thanks, Mark. Keep the change,” I said, miserable as I took a sip of my wonderful raspberry coffee, feeling it go all the way down. It sat in my stomach like lead.
Wayde waited with the patience of a wolf, his arms across his chest and a tightness to his lips. I fiddled with my coffee cup, finally saying, “Ivy came home smelling like a friend. She came home happy,” I said louder when he started making noises of disbelief again. “And I’m glad for that. She deserves it. And Jenks.”
I looked at the table and pushed my cup around some more. “Jenks is never going to find another person like Matalina to share his life with, but seeing him and Belle together . . . They fit, you know?” I said, not caring if he didn’t get it. “I used to be in there with them. I’m seeing me starting to slide out. It needs to happen, but I don’t like it.” 
Unfortunately, that was the truth. They were growing, and I wasn’t. Or rather, I wasn’t growing in the direction I wanted.
“People change,” Wayde offered hesitantly, but it was obvious that he didn’t get it.
“Tell me about it.” I took another sip of coffee, feeling sorry for myself even as I enjoyed the rich, sweet caffeine. “I used to be the one changing and they were the ones trying to keep up. Now I’m sitting still and they’re the ones moving on. Without me.”
“Waah, waah, waah.” Wayde reached for a scone, the bag crackling.
The Turn take it, I’d opened up to him, and he thought I was being self-centered. “Forget I said anything, okay?” I said, wishing I had kept my mouth shut and let him believe I’d left because I was mad about last night. “I’m not going to shrink down and be a pixy, and I’m not going to sign my will over to a vampire, even if I do love her. It would destroy both of us.”
Wayde’s chewing stopped.
“This is good,” I insisted, my eyes on the torn bag as I folded it up around Jenks’s scone. “All of it. Jenks and Ivy. It’s good. They will live longer, happier lives without me, and I’m glad.” I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.
“I understand.” Wayde put his hand on mine, stopping me from crushing Jenks’s scone. “I grew up surrounded by big egos, Rachel, and I get it.”
I pulled away from him, shoving Jenks’s scone into my bag. “I do not have a big ego.”
“Yes you do,” he said, wiping the crumbs from his beard and chuckling. “It’s probably how you survived living with Ivy. Get over it. You’ve got a big heart to match, and your dad is just as bad. But as you say, they’re getting on with their lives and you aren’t. Why do you suppose that is?”
Staring at him, I flopped back against the seat. “If I knew that, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you in your pj’s, drinking coffee.”
And still he smiled, looking far too disorganized to be giving me advice. “Jenks and Ivy know their lives are going to be here. Right now and today,” he said, tapping the tip of his finger on the table. “They’re making decisions to move forward. Ivy is letting go of her past—that means you—and finding partners who fulfill her emotional, intellectual, and physical needs. Jenks is doing the same. You aren’t, because you know in your gut that you won’t find what you need here.”
The sweet coffee in me seemed to go sour, and I stiffened. “Beg pardon?”
He shrugged and leaned back out of easy reach, looking grungy and disheveled. “For a smart woman, you are clueless sometimes. You’re a demon.”
Frowning, I glanced over the coffeehouse to make sure no one had heard him. “You want to say that a little louder, maybe?”