A Momentary Marriage(75)
And all he could think about was how much he wanted her in his bed. That, he supposed, said all one needed to know about the two of them.
chapter 28
Laura trotted up the stairs, humming beneath her breath. Her spirits had been so buoyed by her talk with Abby that when she ran into Graeme afterward, he had probably wondered if she’d lost her mind. A woman whose husband’s life was in danger should be more worried.
She was worried. It was just that James was so much better now and so determined, so capable, that it was easy to let those troubles slide. Easy for her mind to stray to more frivolous thoughts, such as whether James would kiss her again or what it would be like to make love with him or if Abby’s dresses would spark a light in his eyes.
Was Abby right? Could Laura lure James into becoming a real husband to her? And wasn’t it amazing that only a month ago she would have recoiled from that possibility, not rushed toward it?
She was thinking so much about James that it didn’t surprise her when she walked into her room and saw him standing there, idly fiddling with the objects on her vanity table, his mind obviously somewhere else.
“James!” She came to a halt, a smile starting on her face until she saw that he looked drawn and tired. “Are you ill?”
“No. Sorry. I shouldn’t have come in here.”
“Why not?” Laura frowned, puzzled. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something different about him, something more like he used to be.
“Without an invitation.”
“Oh.” She went closer. “Is something wrong? You seem . . .” He quirked an eyebrow, and she finished lamely, “I don’t know.”
“I—” He glanced around as if he might find his next words posted on her wall or wardrobe. “I apologize for putting you in this situation. I didn’t mean to.”
“I’m sure you didn’t realize someone was trying to kill you,” Laura said reasonably. Whatever was the matter with him?
“No, of course not.” He paused, still not looking at her. “Or that you wouldn’t let me die.”
Laura had no answer for that.
“You could have.” He looked into her face finally, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I could have what?”
“You didn’t have to save me. You could have left me in there, done nothing.”
Laura’s jaw dropped. “Let you die? Have you gone mad?”
“Why not?” James shrugged. “It would have been easier. No one would have been any the wiser. You would have been rich and free. It wouldn’t have been murder, you know. Simply appreciating the fortuitous aftermath.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you? Of all the harebrained ideas . . .”
“You’ve disliked me for years.”
“That doesn’t mean I wanted you dead!” Laura wasn’t about to admit her feelings for him had changed. At this moment, with anger rising in her, she had to wonder why they had.
“No? Perhaps it’s just me, then. I’ve wished any number of people dead over the years.”
“Well, one would hope you wouldn’t have acted on it. Good Lord, James.” Laura swung away, too angry to stand still. She turned back, fisting her hands on her hips. “Do you really think I could have done such a thing?”
He gazed at her for a moment. “No. Of course not. Not you.”
“No doubt you consider me too straitlaced.”
“No. But perhaps too selfless for your own good.”
“I don’t understand you. This is the most bizarre conversation I have ever had. And with you that’s saying a great deal. You sound as if you wish I had let you die.”
“No. Believe me, I’d rather be standing here than lying in the family plot. But you did yourself little good. And I—” He took a little breath. “I am sorry for that.”
“So your apology is for not dying.” The man was trying to start an argument, she decided. He was the most contrary person she had ever met.
“I promised you a widowhood. Wealth and future freedom. Yet here you are, shackled to me for life.”
“It may surprise you to know,” Laura said bitingly, “but becoming a widow was never my primary goal in life. I suspect any number of women would count themselves lucky to be plucked up and dropped into a life of ease. Unless your plan is to lock me up or beat me daily—”
“Laura!” He stiffened, his eyes flashing.
“Hah!” Laura jabbed her forefinger at him. “You see how unpleasant it is to have someone suggest you’d do awful things? Since clearly you want to have a disagreement, I will tell you my side of it. If you had not offered me your hand in marriage, I would be sunk in debt to a despicable man. I would have had to give up my home and most of my possessions and live in a governess’s room or on my aunt’s charity. You have put me in a lovely house; you have on more than one occasion urged me to buy new clothes.”