“Madness?” He whipped around, his composure cracking. “It’s madness to feel I should protect you? I’m your husband, damn it, however little you may regard me as such.”
Laura’s jaw dropped in astonishment. “What?”
“Why in hell didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“About someone trying to kill you! Or perhaps I should say the first time someone tried to murder you. Maybe there are a number of attempts you haven’t seen fit to share with me.”
“No, just the one.” Laura struggled for calm, reminding herself that James had received a fright tonight, too, and was also on edge. “I didn’t tell you because it was only an accident. We weren’t hurt. We were able to jump into the river as we crossed the bridge. I wasn’t even in the carriage when it crashed.”
“Jumped into—” He cut off the words and swung away, slamming his glass down on the cabinet. “You could have been killed. Was that not important enough to speak of? Or perhaps I just wasn’t important enough for you to tell.”
“This is absurd. You were ill. Just starting to recover. I wasn’t about to burden you with news of a carriage accident. I was fine, and there was nothing you could have done about it anyway.”
“No, certainly not. I was too weak and useless to protect my wife. But of course you could tell Graeme. He was able to help.”
“For pity’s sake,” Laura said, exasperated. “I didn’t tell Graeme. He was there.”
“He was with you?” For some reason, this seemed to incense him even more.
“No. He came along afterward.”
“How convenient.”
“What does that mean?” Laura was past being patient. Her own anger rose up in her, and she braced her hands on her hips, glaring at James. “ What is wrong with you? Why are you being so obnoxious?”
“It’s my natural state, remember?” His eyes glittered. “Forgive me. I’m sorry to be a bother about a little thing like someone trying to kill you! No doubt I should be calm and amiable about the fact that everyone knew about this except me.”
“It wasn’t everyone!”
“No, just Graeme. Your stalwart champion.”
Laura let out a noise that sounded much like a growl. “God give me strength. They’re right—you’ve gone mad.”
“Yes, no doubt. I’m sure it’s quite mad for a husband to think his wife might come to him if she was in danger. That she would think he had the right to take care of her, instead of some bloody fool who didn’t even have the courage to marry her!”
Laura stared. “My God . . . you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous!” James turned away and suddenly, with a wordless roar, he swept his arm across his desk, sending the things on it crashing to the floor. Demosthenes, who had been watching them warily, now jumped to his feet and let out a bark. James cursed beneath his breath and braced his hands against the desk, just standing there for a long moment, not looking at Laura.
Understanding dawned on Laura. “You’re running away.”
James whipped back around. “What did you say?”
“You aren’t going to London to hire a killer. Or to keep Claude from killing me. You’re running away!”
“I beg your pardon.” He scowled. “I’ve never run from anything.”
“No?” Laura stepped forward. “You are running. From me.”
“From you? Don’t be absurd. You think I’m afraid of you?” James gave a scornful laugh.
“I think you’re afraid of how you feel,” she retorted. “You want to stay alone and locked up, secure in your isolation.”
“Rubbish.”
“I don’t think so.” She faced him, eyes bright, the truth burning like a flame in her. “You almost lost me tonight, and it scared you. That’s why you’re so angry. So wild.”
“That’s nonsense.”
“Is it? Then why are you trying to escape? You’re scared of the emotion you feel. Scared to death of it. You’re afraid to admit it, even to yourself.”
James curled his lip. “Afraid to admit what?”
“That you love me.”
James went still, his silence filling the room. Finally, in a voice as cool and final as death, he said, “That, my dear, is where you are wrong.”
He strode from the room, leaving Laura standing in numb silence behind him.
chapter 38
James sat across from his brother in the carriage, pretending an icy calm he didn’t feel. Claude, after muttering, “Don’t see why we have to flee in the night like criminals,” contented himself with crossing his arms over his chest and glowering at James. Claude’s resentment and anger didn’t bother James; the hard, cold knot in the pit of his stomach did.