“You look lousy.”
“Back at you.” Patience knew exactly how she looked. Tired and depressed. Same way she felt. “The beds at this place are like boards on stilts. I was tossing and turning half the night.” She missed the big comfy bed she had at Ana’s.
She missed a lot of things she had back at Ana’s.
But that was in the past. With a swipe of her hand, she brushed away her bangs and the painful thoughts. “I’ve got possible good news, though. The front desk clerk told me they’re hiring at the new Super Shopper’s Mart. I’m going to go apply today.”
“Good luck.”
“Thanks.” She’d need it. She couldn’t afford to hide away in a hotel room forever. Eventually, she was going to have to find a new job and a new place to live. Preferably soon, before she drained her savings and found herself living in her car. Again.
Funny how things came full circle.
“I just hope they don’t ask for a lot of references. Or ask too much about my previous position.”
“Maybe if you called Ana...”
“No.” Patience cut that suggestion right off. That possibility died when she’d walked out.
She hadn’t meant to leave so abruptly. Not at first, anyway. When she’d stormed out of the brownstone, she’d truly intended to just clear her head. Problem was, the more she walked around Beacon Hill, the more upset she got. At Stuart for being so damn suspicious of everybody. At the world for being so unfair in the first place.
But mostly at herself for being stupid enough to think she could bury the past. And for letting her guard down. She’d let herself care—more than care—and now her insides were being shredded for her foolishness. In the end, she’d decided she couldn’t face seeing Stuart or Ana again, and so when Stuart had left for the hospital, she’d packed her things.
“Don’t you think you’re being drastic?” Piper asked.
“Trust me, I’m not. You should have seen Stuart’s face,” she added in a soft voice. For as long as she lived, she wouldn’t forget how the betrayal and anger darkened his features.
“Probably because he was mad you didn’t tell him. Stinks when people keep information from you.”
Patience winced. “I know. I’m sorry.” The other night she’d broken down and told Piper about the arrest. Her sister had been ticked off over being kept in the dark, too, although she’d softened when Patience had explained how it wasn’t news you shared with your preteen sister.
The thing was, Piper was right. If she’d told Ana everything from the beginning, she wouldn’t be in this position. Granted, she probably wouldn’t have gotten the job, but she also wouldn’t have had to deal with Ana’s disappointment. Or with Stuart’s. Which, when she thought about the past couple weeks, would have been the best thing of all.
Sure would hurt less, that’s for sure.
“I’m not really upset anymore,” Piper told her. “Stuart might not be, either. Maybe he decided that the past doesn’t matter.”
“Right, that’s why he had me investigated. Because my past doesn’t matter.” She still couldn’t believe he’d crossed that line. Well, actually, she could believe it. Stuart had said from the beginning he had trust issues. Still... “Who does he think he is, judging me? I may not have made fantastic decisions, but I always had the best intentions. I got you an education, and I kept us off the streets.”
“Hey, no arguments from me,” her sister replied. “I think you’re awesome.”
And to think she had been feeling guilty about not telling him. Turns out her subconscious knew best. The only thing telling him about the arrest would have accomplished would be to put the regret in his eyes that much faster. At least this way, she’d eked out a few more days with him.
“I never should have let myself...”
“Let yourself what?” Naturally Piper heard her. When would she learn to keep her thoughts quiet?
She considered brushing the comment off, but Piper wouldn’t let her. When she was a kid, she’d made Patience repeat every under-the-breath phrase ever muttered. Maybe talking would lessen the ache in the chest. “Let myself start to care,” she said.
“You really like him, don’t you?”
Way more than liked. She missed him the way she would miss breathing. “Not that it matters. I told you before, we were having a fling, nothing more, I mean, face it—even if I’d told him everything from the start, he could never seriously love someone like me. We come from completely different places.”
“So? Why can’t people from different worlds fall in love?”
“Do they? When’s the last time someone from our neighborhood got swept off their feet by a millionaire?” Prince Charming ain’t walking through that door.
“That’s not what you used to tell me.”
“You’re different,” Patience immediately replied. “I raised you to be better than the neighborhood.”
“I know. You always said I was just as good as the next person.”
“You are.”
“Then, aren’t you?”
Closing her eyes, Patience let out a long, slow breath. “This is different.”
“How?”
Because, she wanted to say, the world wasn’t black-and-white. Equality in a human sense didn’t mean equal in the eyes of society. And while Stuart had no right to judge her as a person, there was a huge difference between not judging someone and falling in love with them.
“Trust me, it just is. A guy like Stuart doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with an ex-stripper.”
Before either sister could keep the argument going, a knock sounded on her hotel door. “Who on earth would be banging on my door this time of morning?” Patience asked, frowning. Housekeeping didn’t start for another hour.
“Patience, are you in there?”
The sound of Stuart’s voice came through the wood, causing her heart to panic. “It’s Stuart,” she whispered. “He’s here.” How had he managed to track her down? The only person who knew her location was...
“You didn’t,” she said with a glare.
“He asked me to contact him as soon as I knew where you were staying. He wants to talk with you.”
“Patience, I know you’re in there. Please open the door.”
She looked over her shoulder before glaring at her laptop where her sister’s face was the picture of apology. “What makes you think I want to talk with him?”
“How about the fact that you look like hell? Give him five minutes. What if he’s sorry?”
“Sorry, not sorry—I told you, it doesn’t make a difference.”
“And I think you should hear him out.”
“I’m going to keep knocking until you answer,” Stuart called from outside.
He would, too. A knot lodged itself at the base of her skull. A ball of tension just waiting to become a headache. Patience squeezed the back of her neck, trying to push the tension away, but the feeling was as stubborn as the man banging on her hotel door.
“Patience?”
“Fine. One minute! I am so going to kill you when you get back to Boston,” she hissed at her sister.
“I love you, too,” Piper replied.
Whatever. Patience slapped the laptop closed. Might as well get this over with. A quick glance at the mirror told her she really did look terrible. She started to comb her fingers through her hair, thought better of it and went to the door.
“What?” she asked, through the chained opening.
Stuart’s blue eyes peered down at her. “May I come in?”
“Anything you need to say, I’m sure you can say from out there.” Where she was safer. The mere sound of his voice had her insides quaking. Goodness knows what standing close to him would do.
“You sure you want me airing our dirty laundry so everyone else in the place can hear us?” he asked.
Damn. He had a point. “Fine. Five minutes.” Sighing, she unlatched the door and let him in. Immediately, she knew it was a mistake. He had on his weekend clothes. Faded jeans and a T-shirt. The look made him appear far more approachable than his suit. She didn’t want him approachable. She wanted to keep her distance.
He jammed his hands into his back pockets. “How are you?” he asked.
“I was doing fine until you got my sister involved,” she replied.
“You don’t look like you’re doing fine.”
“How I look isn’t your business anymore.” Nevertheless, she pulled her sweater tightly around her, feeling exposed in her T-shirt and sleep shorts. “What’s so important that you needed to track me down?”
“You left without saying goodbye.”
“I left a note.”
“For Ana.”
“Maybe Ana’s the only person I wanted to say goodbye to.”
“Ouch.”
If he expected an apology, he was mistaken. “Is that all you came about? To critique how I said goodbye?”
“No. I came to find out why you left.”
He was kidding, right? “Isn’t it obvious?” She started to make the bed, fussing with the sheets the alternative to losing her temper. Did you really think I would stick around so Ana could fire me for lying to her?”