A Matter of Trust(94)

Stay calm. He heard his heartbeat pound out the words.

“Honey, how badly are you hurt?”

Ella trembled in his arms.

“El?”

“I hurt my ankle when I fell, and now it really hurts. I think it might be broken.”

“Okay.” He moved his arm down, into the area behind her, and tried to push up snow, make room for her to lean away from him, but the snow had turned to plaster around them. He managed to press enough away for her to lift her head.

He still wore his helmet light, crazily undamaged in the fall, and now flicked it on. The light bounced against the shadows, bleeding through the white. He was able to press his helmet to hers, see her expression through her goggles.

Wide-eyed, tear-stained. But she was trying to be brave. Her body trembled, maybe from the cold, probably from the terror.

He might be trembling too.

“It’s going to be okay,” Gage said. “I’m sure the guys are looking for us. And I have my beacon.”

“Oh no. That’s why you came after me—I don’t have a beacon.”

Well, yeah, but . . . “Of course I came after you, Ella. I was following your line, remember?”

But instead of smiling, she shook her head. “Gage! What were you thinking? This is your worst nightmare.”

“Being stuck in an avalanche with you? Not hardly.”

She shook her head. “No. You being stuck in an avalanche. Again. And this time, it was to save me.”

“We’re going to be fine.” Please.

“But I messed up—I wasn’t paying attention. I cut too sharp and sent you over the edge—”

“Shh.” The snow had started to penetrate his layers, especially the wash that had found the collar of his coat. And in his arms, Ella’s tremble had turned to all-out shaking.

“I can’t believe I talked you into coming out here after everything I did—”

“Ella, stop!” He lifted off his goggles, then hers. Found her eyes. “Listen, trust that I can make my own decisions, okay? Just like I need to trust you!”

She blinked at him, her eyes wide, and he lowered his voice.

“Listen, maybe this isn’t about either of us. Maybe God brought us out here because we were supposed to see that accidents happen. And I have to realize that I can’t stop them—even if I am at my best. And maybe it’s time for you and me both to believe exactly what you said—that God is on our side.”

She frowned at him. “Yeah, I guess . . . It reminds me of something my dad used to say. That God proved his love for us even before we asked for help, when we were still not only a mess but his enemies. We didn’t trust him . . . but he didn’t let that stop him from saving us.”

Gage made a small, dark noise, from deep inside chest. “Yeah. Chet says the same thing. That we shouldn’t base God’s desire to help us on our opinions of ourselves. Otherwise we’d always be in over our heads. We need to start believing that he wants to help us. Even when we make mistakes.”

He lowered his voice, turned it soft. “If I haven’t said it yet . . . I forgive you, Ella. I forgive you for everything.”

She closed her eyes, and he saw her chin tremble.

And suddenly, despite the cold, a knot began to unravel in his chest. He could almost feel it—the full breath of grace filling his lungs.

He should have said the words years ago.

Ella was sobbing. And he didn’t know what to do.

But then, because it just felt right, because he longed to believe his words, to make it better, to give him hope, he closed his eyes. “God, I know you see us. Not because we’ve earned your eyes on us but because you love us. Because of who you are. Because that is your nature . . . to love the lost and broken and scared and . . . buried. Thank you that we are still alive. Now, out of your great love, please rescue us. We trust you.”

He opened his eyes and met Ella’s gaze.

“Right?” he asked.

She swallowed, her eyes reddened. Took a long breath.

Nodded.

Then she smiled, and it filled him with warmth and light and the sense that, yes, they might just live through this. “What?”

“I just can’t believe you rode into an avalanche to save me.”

“And I can’t believe you were angry at me for it.”

“At least we made it down the mountain.”

He laughed then, and right behind it, heard the sound of shouting.

“Gage! Are you down there?” A probe came through the snow, and he grabbed it, gave it a tug.

“We’re here!”

Scraping above, and in a moment, daylight found them.

Pete’s head appeared over the edge of the hole. “Are we interrupting something?” He grinned, clearing out the snow around them.