She couldn’t finish because he pounced on her, crushing his mouth with his.
“Say it again,” he demanded.
“I love you.”
He kissed her again, his tongue dipping in to play with hers.
“I love you too, Kerri.” His words held so much conviction, they wrestled every doubt away.
Spreading her legs, he settled between them, his hardness against her opening.
“Wait, we aren’t finished talking…” Her words dropped off on a moan as he slipped into her. Out again, and then in. The slowest rhythm rocking her body.
“It can wait until later. Our bodies are talking now.” His hands roamed all over, finding places she didn’t even know were erotic until he touched them. “I for one, can’t think of a better method of communication.”
She agreed.
They spent the rest of the night using their bodies to show each other the depths of their feelings. Kerrigan had never felt so treasured. Nor had she ever been so scared. As she drifted to sleep, she said a prayer that this time caring wouldn’t end in heartbreak.
Chapter Fifteen
The alpha had released them just as Trager had said. The drive back was considerably less tense. It wasn’t until the last half hour that Kerrigan started feeling sick.
She had to ask him soon.
They were almost home and he’d been talking about plans for the future. How they should pack up her things and move them to his place. That she should call her family and tell them she wouldn’t be moving home. Where she could look for a job if she wanted.
Everything was happening so fast. She’d told Trager last night she was all in. And she was. But she had to know if he still wanted to spend his life with her after he learned about her infertility.
Her stomach flipped with nerves. Like she was on a rollercoaster instead a mountain road.
Trager pulled her hand from her belly and thread his fingers through. “You okay?”
She nodded and gave him a weak smile.
“Are you having doubts?” His voice was so quiet and careful, it broke her heart.
She wanted to reassure him but couldn’t bring herself to lie. Instead, she stared out the window. “How do you feel about kids?”
He gave a relieved laugh. “Is that what you’re worried about? Oh, Kerri, I love kids. I’ve always wanted a huge family. I think we should have five. Or six. We’ll make our own pack. Just you and me and our babies. What do you think?”
Kerrigan’s heart was ripped open wide. What he described sounded wonderful. Like a dream come true. But she couldn’t give him that.
Her chest hurt and tears burned her eyes. “That’s a beautiful plan.” She forced the words out.
“You’ll be so beautiful, pregnant with our young. I can’t wait to see your belly grow big. We’ll wait though, until we’ve settled in. We’ll make sure we have everything we need first. I have some money saved up.”
She tried not to let his words crush her. Inside she was panicking, thinking up ways she could fix this. Maybe she wouldn’t tell him until they couldn’t conceive. Maybe there was some new technique to deal with the scar tissue wrapped around her uterus. But in the end, she came to the only conclusion acceptable: she had to let him go. He deserved to be a father, to have that family he dreamed of.
“Baby?”
“Hm?”
His hand on her chin brought her face around. “Why are you crying?”
She gave him the honest truth. “I think you’ll make the most wonderful dad.”
***
Trager watched his mate while he unloaded the truck. Something was wrong. Very wrong. She put on a brave face, but he could see through it. With the bond, he felt her pain as if it was his own, except he had no clue what it was about. Or how to fix it.
Inside, he started a fire. Maybe they just needed to relax. Decompress. It had been a stressful few days for both of them.
She went into the bathroom and didn’t come out for a long time. Then he heard the shower running. Trager paced in front of the door trying to decide what to do. He should go in there and talk to her. If she just told him what was wrong, he could fix it.
The water shut off, and he went into the living room to wait.
He was a twitchy mess by the time she padded in wearing a tee shirt and yoga pants. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her hair was loose and wet. She stood away from him, her gaze focused on the floor.
Trager’s gut cramped. Something bad was coming. Something so bad he wanted to run away from it. His wolf told him to run. He didn’t though.
She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off. “Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat. I’ve got—“
“No. I’m not hungry.”