He must’ve known what she was talking about because he lifted his head to stare at her.
“With everything that happened earlier?”
He nodded.
“We should talk,” she told him. “Just say everything that needs to be said. Get it all out in the open so it can’t hurt us anymore.”
His eyes roamed her face, his thumb brushing her bottom lip. “I think you’re right.”
“Good.” Nerves fluttered in her belly. There was one very important question she had to ask him. She needed to know how he felt about kids.
He leaned over her reaching for something on the floor. When he sat back, he was holding a folded piece of paper. “Let’s start with this.” He passed it to her. “Who is it?”
Kerrigan opened it to find one of the first shots she’d taken of her and Ethan as a couple. She stared at it, at Ethan. She recalled being happy that day, but Ethan looked like he’d rather eat raw squid. Why had she wasted so much time with him?
“I found it at your apartment.” His voice was flat, giving nothing away.
“His name is Ethan. He was my boyfriend.”
“When?”
She looked up. His jaw was tight, but he was trying to seem unaffected.
“A year ago.”
Trager crossed his arms, nodding to the photograph like it had offended him. “Why did you keep so many pictures of him?”
Damn. She’d walked right into this. Trager, she wanted to know about Trager. She didn’t want to talk about the worst time of her life. But she owed it to him. She cared about him. He should know about Ethan.
Kerrigan sighed. “A year ago, Ethan died in an accident involving a motorcycle. I kept the pictures because… I felt like I should. Truth is, we had a horrible relationship. He didn’t love me, treated me like I was trash, and stole the money right out of my bank accounts. He was making plans to leave when the accident happened. I found out about his lies afterward. I needed those pictures as a reminder. Of what can happen if you let your guard down.”
She kept her eyes glued to the blue flannel comforter over her legs.
“I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“Me too.”
“He didn’t deserve you.”
The side of her mouth lifted in a sad grin. “I know.” She tossed the picture on the floor. “Your turn. Tell me about this prophecy, and your dysfunctional family.”
She looked at him, expecting him to start talking, but his face was drawn and angry.
“What’s wrong?”
“I should’ve found you sooner. I’d have taken you away from him before he had the chance to hurt you like that. I would’ve protected you.”
She crawled over to him, laying her head on his chest. “You can’t fight the dragons of my past.”
He took her chin, and brought her gaze to his. “I can damn well try.”
“You’re doing a fine job so far. Now tell me about your dragons.”
Trager sighed, leaning his head against the wall. “When I was twelve, the pack Elders had a vision that my future mate would reject me. Meaning, she… wouldn’t want me.” His voice grew thin. Kerrigan’s chest constricted. “I would end up alone and ultimately become a danger to the pack. Wolves who can’t mate sometimes go crazy.”
“Why can’t they mate?”
“Either they can’t find theirs or their mate isn’t interested. Wolves are driven by instinct. Mate, protect, procreate. It’s different for everybody, but if we can’t act on those instincts… it can eat away at us.”
“Oh.”
“So they decided to expel me. Send me out on my own. The entire pack disowned me except Gabby because she was too young, and Farrow. Now that’s changed, I suppose.”
Kerrigan was stunned. Trager had been on his own since he was a child. He was abandoned by the people who should have loved him the most. By all accounts, he should be bitter and hard and cruel. Like the alpha. But he wasn’t. He was generous and loving and forgiving.
Why couldn’t they see how wonderful he was? Why was she the only one who could see it?
“I love you.” It came as a whisper, slipping from her lips before she could grasp it and shove it back down.
He froze. Every muscle locked tight in response. Her head, where it rested against his chest didn’t even move with a breath.
But she couldn’t take it back. It was true.
“Do you mean that?” His voice was riddled with holes.
She sat up and looked him in the eyes. “I know it’s too soon. But you’re the best person I know, and if these people can’t see that, then they’re not worth the land they crap on. Someone should tell you how amazing you are. Someone who loves you. Like me. I’m sorry it came out like that—“