A Mate's Denial(13)

She had to get a grip.

Kerrigan started unloading the bags while the coffee brewed. There were so many good finds at the market today, and she’d totally taken advantage of having an extra set of arms. Normally she wouldn’t make it home with all this.

The hissing of the Keurig finishing Trager’s extra large mug, brought her back to her task. “I know you probably drink your coffee black, but I have a super secret recipe that’s guaranteed to keep you awake until you get home—where is that anyway?”

Reaching into the refrigerator, she grabbed the cream, chocolate syrup, and caramel ice cream topping.

“You aren’t allergic to dairy, are you? I’m so used to asking because of the kids at school—“ Kerrigan’s stomach clenched. One more day and she would know if she got the job. She scanned the kitchen. It would be quite a chore to pack up all her things. Getting them to Alaska, an even bigger task. Seeing her father again, with his judgmental you’ve-failed look, would be the hardest of all.

She stirred in the cream, a dallop of caramel, and a healthy squirt of chocolate, and then took it into the living room.

“Alright, here you go. This coffee has gotten me through some of my toughest morni—“

The sight of Trager fast asleep on her couch had her stalled in her tracks.

Crap. No, no, no. He couldn’t sleep here.

“Trager? Hey, um…”

He was completely out. Like REM sleep had come and punched him in the face.

While she stood there, shocked and trying to figure out what to do, she observed him. He was different like this, with shaggy hair falling over his forehead and his face absent of attitude. His full lips curved in a relaxed pout. He looked almost sweet. Someone to cuddle with. Maybe this was the real Trager. Maybe the biker persona, the danger, was all for show.

She could only hope.

Absently, she brought the coffee mug to her lips and sipped.

What was she going to do? It was already four o’clock, and he could be out for hours. She’d have to try harder to wake him. She set the mug on the coffee table and went over to him.

“Trager,” she whispered. She’d have better luck at stirring him if she called his name louder, but it almost seemed like a shame. Clearly, he was too exhausted to drive home anyway. She could let him take a nap. That couldn’t hurt anything.

Pulling the throw from the back of the couch, she covered him. He was warm enough that she could feel the heat radiating off him, but just in case.

Stepping back, she stared again. There was something thrilling about having the freedom to look at him. He was handsome, no one could deny that. Probably the most handsome man she’d ever seen.

A little worm of self-consciousness made her wonder why he’d spent time with her today. Kerrigan knew she wasn’t ugly, per se. She could name a few things about her appearance that people seemed to like. Her unblemished skin and eyes, for example. But she was also woman enough to admit, she was a far cry from anyone’s fantasy girl. Her hair was naturally curly, so that meant it was also naturally frizzy. Too much padding in the hips, ass, and belly had always been a problem too.

Until Ethan, she hadn’t realized how much of a problem it was for some men. He’d definitely wanted her to shed some pounds. And damn, had she tried. But she’d ended up gaining instead, and he’d accused her of cheating on her diet. He’d found a pack of months-old M&M’s in a drawer and thrown them at her, insisting she tell him where her stash was.

Kerrigan sighed.

That had been their last argument. The next time her phone rang with his number, he hadn’t been on the other end of the line.

“Ethan, listen, I’m sorry,” she rushed out. “Just come home and we’ll talk. I’ll try harder, I promise.”

“Ma’am, this is Officer Adams. Can you come down to the police station?”

“Wh-what’s happened?” Her heart hammered in her chest.

“There’s been an accident, ma’am. Please, come immediately.”

Over the next few weeks, she’d learned that Ethan hadn’t truly ever cared for her. It was the only reason she’d put up with his hurtful actions; she’d thought he acted out of love and concern. But no, the truth was he didn’t love her in the slightest. He was only with her to gain access to her bank accounts.

The whole ordeal had changed the way she looked at things, at people. At life.

Since a biker was responsible for Ethan’s accident, she equated them all to irresponsible jackasses, with no regard for the well-being of others. Since Ethan was a prick who thought it was okay to play with her feelings for his own gain, she tended to question anyone who had anything to do with her. It was why she didn’t have friends; she had co-workers—and not even those anymore. And it was most certainly why she stayed far, far away from men. Whether they were interested in her or not.