“I may have accidentally forgotten about taking a contraceptive. Once I was here and I, against all odds, managed to get in, I didn’t want to be kicked out.” The sheet was wrapped firmly around her. Alexandra’s chest heaved and her eyes remained wide. He could scent her fear and confusion. “Shit! I didn’t think this would happen. I’m sorry…I’m an idiot.”
“It’s why you wanted to use the human coverings…you should have said something. Fuck!” He ran a hand through his hair.
“Is there a chance that I’m not pregnant? What if I am? How long before we are able to find out?” She clasped a hand over her mouth and made a noise of anguish. “I can’t believe this is happening.” Her words were muffled from behind her hand. Although her eyes filled with tears, she didn’t cry.
Using every ounce of willpower he possessed, Lazarus walked over to Alexandra and pulled her into his arms. “We’ll get through this.” He breathed through his mouth. Trying to ignore his raging hard-on. “Get dressed, I’m taking you to one of our healers. I don’t have answers to any of your questions. I’m clueless.” The Program was about finding a mate, as soon as that happened there was further training on living with a human and on pregnancy. He needed to speak with his kings about including something sooner.
Although he wanted nothing more than to make this woman his mate and to raise a family with her, he also wanted her happy. Maybe she didn’t want him. Maybe she wasn’t ready to be a mother. What if she was with child but didn’t want to keep the baby? It would fucking kill him. She shivered and sniffed. He could scent her fear. This was not the time to ask such questions. First they had to learn the facts. Then time would tell. He only hoped he could convince her to keep this child. If there was one…
His chest tightened just thinking about it.
****
Oh god! Oh god!
Alex was having a mini heart attack. She struggled to breathe. Maybe Lazarus was wrong. Maybe she wasn’t ovulating. Even if she was, the success rate for actually conceiving was low. Something like fifteen or twenty percent. She knew this from all the years her parents had tried and failed to have another baby. Calm down!
She put a hand to her chest, trying to stop herself from hyperventilating. The biggest problem was that Lazarus wasn’t a human. Maybe that meant that it would be more difficult for them to conceive, or maybe the opposite was true?
Alex tried not to think about it. All the questions swirling around in her mind were driving her nuts. Lazarus pulled her more firmly into the crook of his arm. “One of the healers will see us soon.” He whispered, his voice echoing off the walls.
“I’m freaking out.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I didn’t think this would happen. I guess I didn’t think…period. I’m sorry, we should not have been having unprotected sex. This is totally my fault. You must be really pissed at me. I wouldn’t hold it against you if you were. I’m pissed at myself. I can’t believe that you are being so nice to me.”
He rubbed his hand up and down her arm. “I’m more pissed that you didn’t tell me that you weren’t on birth control. We need to be totally honest with one another. Is there anything else that you need to tell me? Now would be a good time.”
She chewed on her bottom lip for a second before looking him straight in the eye and shaking her head. She was a damned coward. Alex couldn’t. She just couldn’t. Not right now. “Nothing.” A lie. A humongous bald-faced lie. Arghhh! She just couldn’t face his anger and disappointment…not right now. She wasn’t sure when…she only knew that now was out of the question. She might be pregnant. She couldn’t handle more. An unplanned pregnancy was too damned much already.
The tension in his shoulders seemed to ease. Lazarus nodded his head. “Good. Let’s find—”
A door opened and an elderly woman walked into the hallway. “I’m Eleanor. Come on in.”
Alex heard the vampire lady sniff loudly as they walked into the room. “You’re human.” She stated matter-of-factly. “And you are in heat. It was my understanding that the humans currently on our territory would be on birth control…at least until mated.”
Lazarus folded his arms. “You are right. Alexandra should have been on birth control but there was a misunderstanding.”
The vampire woman raised her brows, looking at him in a way that told them that she thought that he was full of shit. “If you say so. I can scent that you have rutted.” She sniffed again. How rude. “You’ve rutted often and as recently as a few hours ago.”
Lazarus nodded. “I would like my female to be examined. Is she pregnant? This was an accident. We need as much information as possible.” He grabbed her hand.
Alex had to fight not to pull away. Her heart sank at his words. He was talking like he didn’t want this child. If she was even pregnant. Was she ready for kids? No! Things changed though. They had damn well changed now and if any of them expected her to abort they would be mistaken.
“Do you want me to lie down?” Alex asked while pointing at a bed in the far corner. “Do you need to examine me?”
The woman, Eleanor, smiled. “No, there would be nothing to see.”
“There must be some sort of test or something.” How the hell was she supposed to wait?
Eleanor shook her head. “You are definitely in heat, of that there is no doubt. There is a very good chance that you will become pregnant. Most females conceive if rutted by a vampire so close to their heat. Our males have potent seed.”
“Oh.” Breathe, Alex. Breathe.
“It is why we sterilize females that are unable to birth young. The incidences of accidental pregnancies are high otherwise.” The woman looked pointedly at Alex.
“I thought that vampires could smell really well, that they know when a woman is…in heat.” She could feel the panic rise up in her.
“It’s not fool proof…obviously not. That is why we prefer for such females to be sterilized. There are accidents though and therefore from time to time, abortions have to be performed.” Eleanor remained perfectly professional.
“Wait a minute. You had better not be saying what I think you are.” Alex couldn’t help it, she clutched her hand to her stomach. “There is no way in hell that I’m aborting this child. You can forget it right now.” She turned her gaze to Lazarus. “I know you are the father and that you have a say but it’s not going to happen. Get that thought out of your head right now.” She pointed a finger at him. Then she turned back to Eleanor. “I know that you can get pills to take the morning after and all that. Yeah well…not going to happen. This wasn’t planned. I’m not exactly ready to be a mother but I’m not murdering my child. Forget it!” She growled the last.
“Thank fuck!” Lazarus picked her up. As in, completely off the floor and wrapped her in his arms. “I was so worried that you didn’t want this child. I’m so glad that you just said all of that. I feel the same way. No one will try and murder this child. I will not allow it.” His voice was deep and gravelly.
She hugged him back, feeling enormous relief. “Okay…good to know. We’re on the same page then.”
“Yes we are.” He looked deep into her eyes. Shit, she could almost see the love reflected in their depths. Love…no way. It was too soon for that. “We are experiencing a moment, Alexandra. We are sharing one right fucking now.”
She nodded. “Yes we are.”
They both met in the middle. A tender kiss that took her breath away.
The vampire woman, Eleanor, cleared her throat. “Do you by any chance have any questions? Anything you would like to know?”
“Yes.” They both replied in unison as soon as they parted. Lazarus put her back down and she turned to face the woman.
“Urm…how long before we find out whether or not I really am pregnant? Are we talking days…weeks?” She asked.
Eleanor smiled. “A couple of days. Normally around four or five…sometimes even six.” Her smile widened. “I doubt it would be much sooner.”
“Okay…well that’s good. Is there a test I can take? I know I’ll get nauseas or something…tender boobs.” She grabbed the twins and Lazarus growled.
“Don’t do that.” His voice was really low. “Your scent is killing me. I have base instincts that are riding me hard.”
“About that…I know that you will still want to rut with your female.” Eleanor turned her gaze on Lazarus.
Lazarus made a grunting sound of confirmation.
“Use human covers for the next few days, for just in case you’re not pregnant. Unless of course you want to become pregnant, then I would recommend lots of unprotected sex.”
Her eyes locked with Lazarus’. “I have made peace with the fact that I may be pregnant but if I’m not then I think we should wait so”—she inhaled deeply—“we’ll use condoms until we know for sure.”
Lazarus nodded, his jaw tensed. He didn’t look happy with the idea but if he was against it, he didn’t say. There was a small part of her that wanted to say…to hell with it…and dive in with both arms stretched, but that was foolishness.