A Mate for Gideon(47)

He narrowed his eyes. “You should be happy that I have rutted many females since we were together. If I had just been with one female it would’ve meant that I had feelings for her.”

Happy? Like hell.

She felt her lip quiver and bit down on it. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Shit, hearing him say it hurt like hell.

Gideon made a low growling noise and pulled her against him, staring deep into her eyes. “You should know though that I didn’t so much as touch a single female for the longest time at first. It was only when I saw you…with him.”

Her heart clenched. He had waited…almost nine months without sex. Hearing him say it did make something ease inside her. It also made her feel guilty and sad. Pain coursed through her. If only she hadn’t been so stupid. It was such a difficult time after Gideon left her. Her emotions were all over the place. She wasn’t thinking clearly. Jenna could see now how vulnerable she would’ve been. The perfect opportunity for a predator like Liam.

He shook his head, looking solemn. “I haven’t kissed a single female since you. I couldn’t even if I tried.” He cupped her jaw. “I’m not going to lie to you, Jenna, I have rutted other females. Quite a number of other females.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying hard to stop herself from crying. She was angry with herself for allowing Liam to worm his way into her life, upset with Gideon because he had had loads of sex with other women, upset with herself for being upset with Gideon because it wasn’t his fault.

“Hey,” he whispered. “It was only sex. Taking care of a mutual need. It’s different with you…it has always been different with you.”

Jenna opened her eyes. “Show me.” She needed that closeness, that oneness with him. “I need you, Gideon.”

He shook his head, his eyes clouding. “I want to, Jenna. I want you so badly.” He kissed her, his nostrils flared as he released her. “But we can’t.”

“Yes, we can and we’re going to.” She palmed his cock. It was hard and thick…just like she remembered.

Gideon groaned. It was his turn to squeeze his eyes shut for a second. Then he cursed, softly. “We can’t. I need to speak with Brant first. We need a plan. We said we wouldn’t rush.”

“I don’t care about Brant or Zane or anyone else for that matter. It’s just you and me and these four walls. You said we wouldn’t rush. Do you want me?”

“You know I do.” He answered quickly and with a fierceness that should’ve scared her but didn’t.

“Prove it,” she growled right back.

“Jenna, don’t fucking tempt me. When I scent of human come morning, I’ll have a ton of explaining to do. It could end up getting you booted out of the program. I won’t risk that…I won’t risk you.”

“We can explain it to them. Our situation. Our feelings for one another.”

He shook his head. “We wouldn’t be able to bring up what happened all those months ago. It would count against us. They won’t understand. I’m not one of the ten and therefore our being together is completely forbidden. I will go and speak with Brant in the morning. I want you Jenna, you need to believe that.”

She promised herself that she would be brave. Jenna bent down and grabbed the hem of her dress and pulled it up over her head in one clean sweep. She was sure she heard molars crack as he clenched his jaw. His hands fisted at his sides and his gaze turned feral, burning with a hunger that was greater than she had ever seen before. Surely he would not be able to turn her down now?

****

By all that was fucking red, he was screwed. She may have lost some of her hips and ass but her pink tipped breasts were as heavily curved as ever. Jenna was as beautiful as ever. His attraction to her had grown. Gideon swallowed hard. “Jenna,” he growled. It came out sounding like something between a warning and a plea as much as he tried, he could not make himself look away. She was fucking gorgeous. No other female had ever come close. He realized in that moment that none ever would. It excited and scared him in equal measures.

Gideon needed to protect her, which meant holding off even if it killed him. “We can’t.”

Her eyes clouded with hurt and she folded her arms around herself.

“Fuck, Jenna. I want you. I swear to god I do.” He moved towards her but stopped himself from touching her. Gideon didn’t have much willpower. Touching was out. Thank fuck she was wearing a tiny scrap of lace over her sex. It still taunted him.

“You’re still afraid of what might happen if you confess to them. You’re ashamed of me.”