A Marine and a Gentleman(2)

James nodded. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“Nope.” He’d expected at least one.

“Did you request the kind of night you really want?” The psychologist cut right to the heart of the matter.

“Do you think it matters?” Brenden returned the challenge.

“Yes, I do.” He set aside the notepad and pen and clasped his hands together. “Don’t ask, don’t tell doesn’t apply anymore. You serve your country with distinction. You walk into harm’s way without regard for your own personal safety. You deserve to enjoy yourself—and not to have to worry about how you get to do that.”

Brenden grinned. “Thanks, Doc. I appreciate the concern.”

“Lieutenant….”

“Easy, Doc.” He held up a placating hand, halting the reassurance the doc would certainly offer. “I asked for something pretty specific…a guy that I used to know in another life.”

Leaning back, James’ expression relaxed. “Good.”

“Not sure how that will work out, or even if it will, but the email came in this morning. He’s agreed to it.” He blew out a breath. “Just—sounds weird to say it out loud.”

“It’s your business, it’s your life. Take it easy. Don’t pile on the pressure. This isn’t a suppression mission or a surgical strike….”

“It’s intelligence gathering. Yeah, I know.” Unclasping his hands, he flexed his fingers and paced over to the glass. “I have one more question.” When the psychologist said nothing, he glanced back and found James waiting with a patient expression. “I filed the request and filled out the forms. I knew this guy in high school. He’s open and gay, and wildly proud of it. He never let anyone else dictate his sexuality to him—and we had some real bastards at the school. He took a lot of shit for it, but he didn’t change who he was.” Brenden exhaled a deep breath. “I always had a thing for him, but it became a mission to make sure he didn’t know.”

“Were you embarrassed by it?” James prompted after he lapsed into silence.

He shook his head. “No. But the Marines were my future. My dad, my grandfather, my great-grandfather—hell, all the way back to Tun Tavern—Fitzpatricks have all been Marines. I couldn’t be the gay one. I really couldn’t.”

“So you chose the military over your affection for….”

He didn’t quite fish for a name, but Brenden gave it to him anyway. “Liam. And I don’t know that I chose one over the other. The Marines—foregone conclusion. A commitment. A dream. I knew that’s where I wanted to be. Liam—he was a great guy, the best friend I’ve ever had, and a real pain in the ass. His mouth got my nose broken twice in high school. But he wouldn’t have accepted a quiet, on-the-side, discreet relationship. That wasn’t him.”

“And now? Could you handle an indiscreet, direct relationship with him?”

A fair question, one Brenden had asked every day since sending in the application.

“I don’t know that I even know him anymore. I’ve seen him maybe twice in ten years and always in a bigger group. But he agreed to meet me.” Anxiety buzzed in his ears like a lazy bumblebee in the hot summer sun. “So that’s good, right?”

“He agreed to more than meeting you.” A hint of a frown wrinkled James’ forehead. “A lot more. You realize that, right?”

“Yeah, just not focusing so much on that part. Kind of like to cross that bridge with him, if it doesn’t collapse.” Maybe he should have called Liam ahead of time, but if he said no to the 1Night Stand offer, chances were Brenden wouldn’t even have known. Not in the same way he did that he said yes. Because he would be in the field, doing his job, and not worrying about the what if of it all.

“Not to be indelicate, but this won’t be your first….”

Brenden’s brows shot up and he laughed. “Yeah. No. We’re good, Doc, and you don’t need to give me any safe sex lectures.”

“Good. Look, Lieutenant you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You’re a solid Marine. You’ve thought this out. Go for it. Have a good time.”

“Thanks, Doc, seriously. I…just wanted to make sure the screws were tight.” He couldn’t count on anything tonight. Hell, it would be good to just sit down and get a beer with Liam. God, he hoped he drank beer. In high school, Liam went through a wine cooler phase. Buying that embarrassing shit fell to Brenden—he’d looked older and rarely got carded.

James rose and they clasped hands briefly. “One word of caution.” He gave Brenden his serious, no-nonsense face. “Don’t make any promises you don’t intend to keep, and be honest with him about your career.”