A Little Harmless Addiction(27)

He stepped back, releasing her.

She said nothing for a moment, then, “You’re not doing this because of my brother.”

“No. I want to make sure you really want me.”

Annoyance mingled with the unrelieved arousal. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I want to make sure you aren’t trying to prove to the world that you’re okay.”

Embarrassment hit first. She knew that her brother’s friends would have some kind of idea of what had happened to her, but if he knew this much, he knew. And he had been playing along to make her feel better. Dammit, it wasn’t what she deserved. She deserved someone who actually wanted to go out with her. Anger simmered, and as usual with her, she opened her mouth before she could keep herself from doing it.

“Fine. Don’t worry. I won’t bug you again, Kai. I understand that you were doing this out of the kindness of your heart, but you’re free. I don’t need someone who would be doing it as a pity fuck.”

“Jocelyn—”

She held up her hand and marched around the hood of her car. He stood on the sidewalk, his facial expression blank.

When she reached her door, she drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Goodnight, Jocelyn.”

She wanted to say more, needed to, but she didn’t. She had already said too much. Instead, she got into her vehicle and slammed the door. As she started the car, Kai walked around to the driver’s side.

“I don’t want you to go away mad.”

She blew out a breath, trying to calm her irritation. She’d had a bad temper once upon a time. The meds she’d been taking had evened everything out, cooled any anger she’d once had to fight on a daily basis. It had been good for her for awhile. After the attack, she couldn’t handle the myriad of emotions that had crashed in on her. Finally, when she was ready to handle her life again, she’d been weaned off them. The deeper emotions had surfaced and controlling them was sometimes hard. Most of the time, she came out looking like an ass.

“No. I’m not mad. I’m frustrated.”

“Believe me, I know the feeling.”

She glanced at him then. “Why then?”

“I meant what I said. I want to make sure I’m what you want.”

She nodded. “I’ll let you know.”

And with that, she threw the car into drive and took off. She couldn’t deal with Kai or her need for him. Not tonight.



Jocelyn bit into the sugary dough and hummed. When she opened her eyes, she found Cynthia smiling at her.

“I told ya. They are heaven.”

Jocelyn chewed it, then swallowed before answering.

“Lord, that is good. You said they sell them with fillings?”

Cynthia nodded. “Not here, but some of the places around here have fillings, like you would in a donut.”

Jocelyn sighed. “God, like I need another tempting morsel to make my hips wider.”

Cynthia’s smile turned into a grin. “Darling, you do not have huge hips. You have a gorgeous figure.”

She rolled her eyes. “Said from the little petite beauty queen.”

Cynthia laughed. “But not for long. I can’t wait to get huge.”

Jocelyn heard the yearning in Cynthia’s voice and understood it. She had worked with a lot of pregnant women and knew before the tired feet and swollen ankles, many of them couldn’t wait until they were showing.

“How is Chris doing?”

“Better now that he keeps saltines and water by the bedside.” Cynthia studied her. “And stop laughing.”

“I’m sorry. If you knew what a pain in the ass he was as a brother when I was growing up, you would understand. Hell, what a pain in the ass he is being right now.”

Cynthia’s expression turned serious. “You’ve been through a rough patch, hun. He’s just worried about you.”

It made her feel petty and small complaining. She knew what she had put her family through because of Greg. It also pissed her off.

“Are you sure he didn’t warn Kai off?”

Cynthia cocked her head as she studied her. “Not sure. I don’t think he has, and the truth is, if he did it wouldn’t matter what he said to Kai. Kai marches to his own drummer.”

Jocelyn sighed and looked away to study the busy street. Cynthia had met her up at the house and they had run into Wahiawa to do a little exploring. It was different from the cool urban streets of Honolulu. Locals mixed in with military because they were close to one of the Army bases. Here was what she thought of as the real Hawaii.

She felt Cynthia’s hand slip over her fist. She looked over at her and saw sympathy. “What happened?”