A Little Harmless Addiction(2)

“I’ll just be outside,” Cynthia said softly as she escaped, leaving Jocelyn to contend with Chris.

She watched the front screen door close before she forced herself to look at Chris. She loved this man. He had been more of a father figure than a brother. In recent years, he hadn’t been so bad, but as she watched the worried expression move over his features, she knew she had lost some ground in his opinion. And she knew the look settling on his face. He wanted to have a discussion. Lord, she couldn’t handle another talk about her condition.

“I thought you might need someone around,” he said.

The urge to scream tickled the back of her throat. “I can handle myself, Chris. I did back in Atlanta. I can do it here.”

If she hadn’t been watching him so closely, she would have missed the tightening of his jaw. “I’m sorry.”

She sighed. “Oh, Chris, I wasn’t blaming you. I didn’t want you there. What I meant was after. I did that by myself. Without Mike, you or Mama. I can do this. Please, don’t treat me like I snuck out during Mardi Gras.”

“Which you did more than once,” he said with a chuckle. He pulled her in his arms and hugged her. “You know I’m just trying to look out for you.”

She gave into the need to feel his arms around her, the security she could always count on. From the time their father died, he had been there. He had guided her, helped her pay for culinary school and supported everything she had ever attempted. And in this, she knew that he was on the one real thing in her life.

She pulled back and smiled up at him.

“I know. I can handle myself.”

The look he gave her told her he wasn’t too sure of it. And she couldn’t blame him considering the circumstances she’d been in nine months earlier. Still, it didn’t make it any easier to admit that she had to earn his trust again. Especially when it wasn’t her fault to begin with.

“Okay.” He gave her another quick squeeze. “I’m only a phone call away. And you have Evan’s phone number right?”

She nodded. “Don’t worry, you got me covered.”

She walked him to the door.

“I’m really glad you’re here, Jocey.”

She smiled at his childhood name for her. “I am too. Now go. Cynthia has an early morning.”

He jogged down the path to the car where Cynthia waited for him. With a smile and a wave, he slipped into the car, and she watched the taillights disappear into the Hawaiian night.

She shut the door, locked it, then leaned against it and closed her eyes. For the first time in months, she was alone. All alone. The months in Atlanta she had been partially alone, but not in a real sense. Her mother, her brothers and sister, and the memories had all been there to gnaw at her. She opened her eyes and let the knowledge that she was on her own again settle. Nerves had her stomach tightening, but she smiled as she opened her eyes. She was on her own again.

She walked through the house, a cottage really, and tried to gauge how she would handle tonight. She knew she would handle it just fine, but it wouldn’t be easy. Or maybe it would. In Hawaii, she was far away from Atlanta and the memories of Mike and the house they had shared. And she was far away from Greg. She no longer would have to wonder if every little sound was her former boss showing up to finish the assault he had started months earlier. She closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath, using the breathing exercises her therapist had taught her. After a moment, her heart rate slowed and her panic eased as she opened her eyes.

First thing, she thought as she glanced at her luggage, was to unpack. With more energy than she knew she had, she delved into unpacking her clothes and personal items. Cynthia had moved all of her things to Chris’s house in Hawaii Kai, but had left all her furniture. Jocelyn loved the look. It had been Cynthia’s grandmother’s cottage and many of the furnishings were antiques. And, Jocelyn thought as she placed some of her shirts into the dresser, definitely Hawaiian.

Less than thirty minutes later, she was done. She glanced around the bedroom when she was done and smiled. The queen-sized bed was covered by a bright Hawaiian quilt and with lots of pillows. It looked so comfortable that she wanted to just collapse on it. Over eleven hours of travel had taken its toll on Jocelyn. But something pushed her out of the room the moment she thought of being alone on that bed. With a sigh, she walked out into the little living room. Now what? It was odd that she would have longed for this day for so long, but now that it was here she didn’t know what to do with herself. Usually, she would do some baking to get rid of nervous energy, but she wasn’t sure if Cynthia had done any shopping of that kind.