"It complemented what your father hoped you would grow into magically." Rhys played with the edge of my hair. "He was right."
"If you were goblin," Kitto said, "beauty and sex would be useless. It would condemn you to be a slave to someone stronger and more able to fight. Your powers, Rhys, they would be valued above such soft things."
"Essus wanted something softer for his daughter," Rhys said.
"He would never have chosen Doyle, would he?" I asked.
"It would never have occurred to him that the queen's Darkness could ever be parted from her side. But no, I think if I was too harsh for his daughter to marry, then Doyle would have been out too."
"I hadn't thought about who my father might have chosen for me among my guards."
"Hadn't you?" he asked.
"No."
Kitto had picked his jeans up off the floor where he'd let them fall. "I will leave you two to talk."
"Stay," Rhys said. "Help me understand why it's you Merry comes to when she wants to relax. I'm not her heart's desire. I'm not even the one who makes her heart beat fast by a feather's touch. I need to find a place in her life, too. Help teach me how to be something new."
"I will not teach you my place, for you will replace me."
"I will never be as undemanding of Merry as you are. I have neither the personality nor the patience. But teach me to be a little less pressure so that she might turn to me for something."
"Oh, Rhys," I said.
He shook his head, sending all that curly white hair sliding around his shoulders. "You like me. You've always liked me. You enjoy sex with me, but you do not burn for me. Strangely, you burn for colder things even than my powers."
"I am Unseelie sidhe."
"You are also Seelie sidhe."
"I am part that, yes, but I am also part human, and part brownie. But if you pushed me to name myself, what I am, I am Unseelie."
He smiled, a sad sort of smile. "I know that."
"Andais accused me of remaking the Unseelie court into a mirror of the Seelie. I am not doing it on purpose."
"Remember what I said about you when you were sixteen? That I wanted to see which side of your family you took after?" Rhys asked.
"Yes."
"I wanted you to take after the Seelie side of your family."
"My grandfather is an abusive bastard. My uncle is mad. My mother is a cold, envious social climber. Why would you want that in your life?"
"I don't mean their personalities, and I don't even mean the ones you referred to. Remember, I knew your ancestors before they were lost in the great wars in Europe. I knew some of the women of your mother's line. They were goddesses of fertility, love, lust. They were a warm lot, Merry, in that good earthy way."
"So, what, you wondered if I had taken after my great-great aunt?"
"Aunts," Rhys said, "and a great-grandmother or two. You reminded me of them. The hair, the eyes. I saw them in you."
"No one else did," I said.
"No one else was looking."
I rose and gave him a kiss. The kiss grew until I felt his body grow hard again, where all the talk had made it soft. He broke from my lips with a sound that was almost pain. "I can't keep being the gentleman if you keep kissing me like that."
"Then don't be the gentleman, be my lover."
Kitto finished fastening his jeans. "I will leave you to what the sidhe do best, other than magic. You are my friend, Rhys, I believe that, but you are not comfortable with me in the bed with you and the princess."
Rhys started to protest. It was my turn to put my fingers on his lips. "He's right."
He moved my hand. "I know. Dammit, I know. I thought if I could have sex with Kitto and you, I could guard you tonight with the goblins, but I can't."
"You have come a long way on the subject of goblins, Rhys. It's all right."
"Who will guard you tonight if Doyle is injured and my sensibilities are too delicate?"
"I don't know," I said, "and right this second I don't care. Make love to me, Rhys, now, just you. Be with me, help chase my thoughts to stillness." I rose and kissed him again and drew him down to me with arms and hands and eagerness.
I did not hear the door close quietly behind Kitto, but when next I opened my eyes, we were alone.
CHAPTER 19
RHYS MADE ME LIE ON MY STOMACH AND BEGAN TO BREATHE HIS way down my back. I would have said kiss, but it was too gentle for that. He caressed the skin with the barest touch of lips and breath. When he got low enough, he began to breathe and work those tiny, near-invisible hairs on the lower back, so that my body ran with goose bumps and involuntary shivers.