Warmed by Rose’s ready sympathy, Mary hugged her sister hard. It made the huge, tight knot in her chest lessen even though tears sprang into her eyes. She pulled away, dashing the drops from her eyes. “I refuse to cry about it.”
“Perhaps he did not mean it the way it sounds,” Rose offered helpfully. “Maybe he is merely infelicitous in his way of talking.”
“He is certainly that.” Mary sighed. “Thank you for throwing that rope to a drowning woman, but no, I fear it is a perfectly accurate expression of his feelings for me. It was the coldest, most bloodless proposal that was ever made.”
“Did he—did he say nothing about love?”#p#分页标题#e#
“No, not a word.” Mary’s voice rang with bitterness. “He did not say once that he could not live without me or—or that my eyes shone like stars. Or even how proud he would be for me to become Mrs. Sir Royce, or whatever they call it.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“He thinks I’m unmarriageable, that’s what it is. That no one will have me because of my lack of decorum, my country bumpkin behavior, my deplorably American manners!”
“That is why he’s marrying you?”
“No, he’s marrying me because he’s a gentleman!”
“What? Mary, I don’t understand.”
Mary stopped, realizing suddenly where she had gone in her ire. She crumpled a little. “Oh, Rose … I have not told you all. I didn’t want you to hate me.”
“Silly. I couldn’t hate you.”
“No, you probably could not. But I know you will think less of me.” She sighed, then squared her shoulders in her usual way. “I told you that he kissed me.”
“Yes …”
“Yesterday, at the summerhouse, when he was so mad at me—”
“Mary!” Rose gasped. “Do not tell me Sir Royce forced you!”
“No! Goodness, no. It was nothing like that. It was mutual. But there were certain liberties taken.”
“You mean—”
Mary nodded, blushing to her hairline. “As Royce so circumspectly put it, my ‘innocence’ is gone.”
“Mary!” Rose sat down with a thump in the nearest chair.
“You do hate me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you, but I couldn’t keep on pretending.”
“No, of course I don’t hate you. I’m glad you told me. It’s just so startling I scarce know what to say.”
“I was rather stunned by it myself.” Mary sank down in the chair next to her sister.
Rose reached out to take her hand. “Mary, tell me … what was it like? Was it awful? Frightening?”
“It was … wonderful.” A reminiscent smile curved Mary’s lips. “’Tis almost enough to make me agree to marry him. I felt—I felt—I’ve never felt anything like it. When he touched me, I felt alive all over, as if I was dancing inside. I felt beautiful and twitchy and absolutely sizzling.”
“Oh my.” Rose’s eyes brightened as she watched her sister’s glowing face. “Maybe you should marry him.”
“How can I marry a man who doesn’t love me? Who asked me because he felt obligated?”
After a moment, Rose asked softly, “Do you love him?”
“No.” Mary’s answer was swift and decisive. “I-I thought perhaps I might … have feelings for him.” She remembered with a swift stab of pain that moment when she had felt joined with Royce, so much a part of him that she scarcely knew where she began and he left off. “But now I see that it was purely physical lust. The sort of thing they warn us about. That is all. We—there is no love between us.”
Rose sighed, frowning. “Then you must not marry him. How could you have a happy marriage without love?”
“How indeed?” Mary echoed tonelessly.
There was the sound of voices down the hall, and Mary turned to Rose anxiously. “Please, don’t tell Lily and Camellia.”
“Of course not. I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” Rose patted Mary’s hand.
“Thank you.”
“Mary! You’re back!” Her younger sisters entered the room, followed by Charlotte. “Good. We can start looking through Mama’s things. Can Cousin Charlotte join us?”#p#分页标题#e#
“Of course.” Mary smiled at their cousin. “Although you may find it a bit boring.”
“Oh, no, I think it’s all quite fascinating,” Charlotte assured her. “Mother never told me about Aunt Flora before, but since you arrived, she has said quite a bit. She feels terrible about what happened. At the time, she wouldn’t have defied their father, but she regrets losing her sister.”