She cleared her throat and stood up. “Ma thought it’d be a good idea if we went for a walk.” She glanced at her mother and shot her a pleading look to join them.
“I need to get down to the mercantile,” her mother said. “Take your time.”
Margaret inwardly groaned. Too bad her sister was in school because if she wasn’t, Margaret would ask her to come along. It’d be much better if one other person was there to help break the tension.
“It is a nice day for a walk,” Joseph said, offering a tentative smile.
Perhaps this wasn’t any easier for him than it was for her. As strange as it was, that actually made her feel better. “Alright.” She followed him out to the porch.
“Have a good time!” her mother said.
Margaret knew her mother meant well but was too nervous to respond. Instead, she shut the door and crossed her arms because she couldn’t figure out what else to do with them.
“Where do you usually go for a walk around here?” he asked.
“Umm...” She debated whether to go to the park or through town. “I think the park will be good since the weather is nice.”
He nodded and followed her down the porch steps.
She glanced back once and saw her mother watching them from the parlor window. “I need to go to the mercantile” my left foot, Margaret thought. Her mother had done her weekly shopping two days ago. Reluctant, she turned her attention to Joseph. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him as they strolled down the sidewalk that led to the park. Clearing her throat, she got ready to speak. She had to tell him the truth, and the sooner she did it, the better.
With a heavy sigh, she said, “I’m not the kind of person who believes in wasting her time. I agreed to meet with you today because my parents insisted on it. But to tell you the truth, I don’t think I have what it takes to raise four boys. I mean, if I was their mother, it would be different. I’d be able to get used to them one at a time. This whole thing with all of them at once... Well...” She shrugged. “It’s too much.”
There. She said it. Stopping, she waited to see if he would want to continue the walk—and listen to her go into more detail on her decision—or if he’d want to stop wasting his time with her and find a woman who would be happy to take on him and his children.
“It’s been nine years since I courted a woman, so I’m a bit rusty at this. But I got a chance to read your letters, and I thought you sounded like a woman I could get along well with.” He shifted from one foot to the other. “It’s true I could use a mother for my children, and I do want her to be good to them. I also want a woman who’ll make a good companion.”
She lifted her head and took a good look at him. So it did matter to him who he married. Then he wasn’t just hoping to settle for her. That made her feel better about everything. “Well, I suppose we could talk.”
His body relaxed. “I like your straightforwardness,” he admitted with a smile.
As they resumed their stroll down the sidewalk, she replied, “I don’t see the point in not saying what I mean. Too many people can take advantage of someone who’s afraid to say no.”
He chuckled. “That’s especially true of children. And don’t think saying ‘no’ once is enough.”
“I don’t know the first thing about children. My sister might be eight years younger than me, but I didn’t do much with her.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to do everything yourself. I didn’t realize how much work it is to take care of them until my wife passed away.”
As they crossed the street, she asked, “How did she die?”
“She got sick and never recovered.”
There was a hint of sorrow in his voice, so she ventured, “You must have loved her.”
“I did. We grew up together. I think we always knew we’d get married.” He looked at her. “I don’t mean to ramble on about her. I am interested in learning about you and having you learn about me.”
Maybe her mother was right. Maybe he did know there was more to a marriage than taking care of the children. “What do you want to know about me?”
He put his hands in his pockets and studied the ground for a moment. “I read the letters you sent Paul. When he told me he was coming out here, he showed them to me,” he quickly explained, as if he expected her to be upset.
“I assumed you read them if you knew I was looking for a husband.” As soon as she said those words, she wished she could take them back. She sounded desperate. What woman worth marrying had to post an ad for a husband? None of her friends had to stoop to such measures. They had men to choose from. How she wished the same had been the case for her. Refusing to look at him in case he picked up on the frustration and shame in her eyes, she added, “I just figured you had to find out about me that way. You don’t seem like the kind of man who searches through the paper looking for a wife.”