But she couldn’t compare herself to Jessica. No matter how tempting it was, especially at times like this.
“We got to meet Tom’s parents at the wedding,” Margaret’s mother told Joseph. “They adore children. They have a couple of grandchildren. I believe their oldest son has twin boys.”
“Richard has two boys and one girl. The twins are three and the girl is only five months old,” Jessica clarified. “Tom’s sister, Sally, just found out she’s expecting her first child.”
“No older kids?” one of Joseph’s boys asked Jessica.
She shook her head. “I’m afraid not. But you’re seven and Bob is six, so you already have someone close to your age to play with.”
As much as Margaret liked her friend, she was starting to wish she hadn’t brought her along. The boys were already falling in love with her. She sighed in despair. It was a sign. Paul’s death, Joseph coming out with a bunch of kids, and Jessica getting along wonderfully with them... It was all a sign. And it pointed to one conclusion: Margaret wasn’t meant to get married. Most women married and went on to lead very happy lives. But not every woman got married. And apparently, Margaret was doomed to be one of them.
As she watched the two older boys animatedly talk to Jessica who led them all to the luggage area, she knew there was nothing she had to offer children. Joseph would just have to find another woman in the area, go back home or post his own ad for a wife. Because nothing was convincing her that she was the right one for him and his children.
Margaret rolled her eyes. Why fight fate? She was just meant to be single forever, and she was sure that before long, Joseph would realize it too.
Chapter Three
Margaret picked up the letters Paul had written her and read them in the privacy of her bedroom. Why did he have to fall off his horse? Why did he even have to ride a horse? Because that’s what farmers do. Riding horses is part of their job. With a heavy sigh, she settled back on her bed and stared at the ceiling.
It didn’t seem fair. In fact, the more bad things happened to her, the more convinced she was that she was cursed. Paul seemed like a nice man. He’d made her laugh with some of his comments, so he obviously had a great sense of humor. Her big worry had been that he’d see her with Jessica and find her lacking. Not once did it occur to her that he’d suffer a fatal accident. She knew she should feel sorry for him. He was dead after all. But the selfish part of her couldn’t help but wonder why he couldn’t have been more careful on the dumb animal.
Why me? Of all the men out there, why did the one who actually wanted to come out and marry her have to die? Well, she supposed that wasn’t entirely true. His brother had come out asking to marry her. Because he has four boys who need a mother. It had nothing to do with her.
She picked up Paul’s second letter and read the part where he told her that she sounded like someone he could enjoy being married to. He liked how sensible she was. He hadn’t seen her but already liked her because she was straight forward. What other man had taken the time to find out anything about her? None.
It was enough to make her want to cry, even though she wasn’t one to give into tears. Tears were far too impractical because they didn’t solve anything.
Giving another heavy sigh, she rolled over and stared out her window. She didn’t feel like meeting Joseph tomorrow but knew she would. He came all the way out here. It wouldn’t be right to not open the door when he came. But did she really have to marry him just because he arrived? She had no idea he was coming. He didn’t even write to let her know for goodness’ sakes! She didn’t owe him anything. Just because Jessica would’ve married him, it didn’t mean she had to.
Surely in good time, he’d find a woman like Jessica and get her to take on the responsibility of four boys. Margaret was certain that most women would readily agree to it. He wouldn’t have to wait long before he found one. Maybe she’d offer to help him find one. Yes, that would work. Then she wouldn’t have to feel guilty when she told him there was no way she could handle four children. It was one thing to have one child at a time and slowly adjust to a full house, but being thrown into it all at once was way too much of a shock.
She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Such was life. Not everyone was meant to be happy.
“Margaret?”
She turned her head so she could see her mother standing in the doorway. “What?”
“Today didn’t go as you thought it would.”
That was stating the obvious. Margaret bit back the sarcastic comment. She shouldn’t let her foul mood affect her behavior.