A Hollywood Deal(64)
“Ryder…?”
“It’s an old story,” I say. “Nobody even remembers anymore, except Julian. He just likes to talk about it because it didn’t end well.”
Paige doesn’t buy that, not fully.
“Let me make you feel good, baby.” I press my body against hers, fitting myself against her soft, sweet curves.
Her hands clench around my shoulders, and I bury my face in her neck and inhale gently. She’s sensitive there, and shivers run through her. I run my mouth over the graceful line of her neck, licking and sucking. Her breathing grows shallow.
“I know what you’re doing,” she murmurs.
“Of course you do. But I’d rather make you feel good than to talk about a bunch of nasty crap that happened years ago. It has no bearing on us.” I pause. “Don’t you trust me?”
She pushes at me until I pull away enough so that she can look me in the eyes. I gaze back at her, trying for total honesty. The stuff that happened between me and Lauren is old news, and it isn’t like she’s going to come back to cause us trouble.
Except Anthony’s back in town.
The thought flashes through my mind, and a small ball of apprehension settles in my stomach.
“You aren’t telling me everything,” Paige says.
Damn it.
Closing my eyes briefly, I debate how much to reveal. Maybe just enough to satisfy her curiosity…but not the whole sordid deal.
“Lauren was a model and an aspiring actress,” I began, keeping my voice emotionless. Facts only. “She and I dated seven years ago. I was on the rise back then, and she was young and dazzling. I didn’t realize it, but she approached me for help with her career…and she was also dating someone else at the time.”
Paige gasps and puts a hand over mine. I don’t react. I won’t accept her sympathy. I can’t.
“She was a drug addict, which I also didn’t realize in the beginning. I…didn’t know what signs to look for. Eventually, she died of an overdose,” I say, glossing over the exact circumstances surrounding her death. It was much worse than just snorting a little too much coke.
“I’m sorry.” Paige puts her arms around me in comfort, and it only makes me feel like a fraud.
I don’t want to think about Lauren or have Paige feel sorry for me because of what happened. I’d rather much have her feel something else.
I turn her slowly until we’re facing a mirror on the wall. I originally put it up so I could practice my expressions and delivery when I was new to the business. Never had it removed though, because it’s good for certain other occasions. Like now. My hand grips the back of her neck, not hard but firm so she knows I’m ready to move on to something much more enticing and productive than dwelling on my past.
Her eyelids flutter. “Ryder…”
“No more talking.” I lick the gentle line of her neck, then press kisses along the smooth flesh. Her soft curves drive me insane. “You don’t know how much I love your body. I think about it all the time.”
I want to make her forget the crappy evening and what I just told her. Her day should end on a high note, especially the night before our engagement party.
My dick hardens, pushing against her gorgeous ass, at the way her breath turns shallow with need. She moves against me; I push the small jacket off her shoulders and it lands on the floor in a heap. The dark, hot-pink dress underneath is sleeveless and strapless, with nothing but a tiny zipper on the bodice holding it up. She looks like a luscious treat dipped in raspberry syrup.
“Put your hands against the mirror,” I whisper hotly in her ear.
She obeys. I tap her feet gently with mine, and she spreads them. Her calves flex.
I like this position. It seems slightly submissive on her part and gives me easy access to everything. The skirt is loose around her, and it’s perfect. I make a mental note to give Josephine a hefty bonus.
I unbutton my shirt. I want to take it all off and get Paige naked. But I don’t. I know better. The dinner killed my foolish dream from last night and confirmed something that’s been nagging at me all along—that I honestly have nothing to offer to anyone except money and fame. And neither of those is forever. I’ve seen how one of my uncles died broke—shocking, since he inherited millions—and Hollywood is littered with has-beens, once-famous derelicts who nobody recognizes anymore.
Paige is the kind of girl who deserves far more.
She deserves love. She deserves respect. And she deserves to be around people who won’t try to use her to fuck with me. I can’t forget how coolly Dad was assessing her, all evening long…and he wasn’t thinking about whether or not the marriage will be good for us. He was looking for signs of weakness to exploit.