A Governess for the Brooding Duke(71)

Why was life so cruel and unusual? Why had she been made so very low by a father who had never cared for her? Why had her status in life been so horribly squashed? And yet, at the same time, she knew it was only that which had brought her into his path in the first place. Had it not been for her own misfortune, she would never have met the Duke of Draycott. They would never have crossed paths in London in any meaningful sense, even if she had not been reduced to the status of the governess.



And so, it seemed that life intended to cruelly introduce her to things that she could never have. Life intended her to fall in love for the first time with a man who would never, could never, love her back.



Georgette lay back on her bed in the gown that she had been wearing all day, feeling so lethargic that she wondered if she would even bother to wash and change into her nightgown in an hour or so when Daisy arrived with the hot water. Perhaps she would simply lay there watching the steam rise from the jug until it rose no more. After all, washing in cold water was something that Georgette was entirely hardened to.



As she stared up at the vaguely discoloured ceiling, Georgette could not help ruminating upon the fact that now that everything else seemed to be going well, her own heart was about to let her down most dreadfully. If only she had not fallen in love with him, then everything would surely be perfect? Or as near to a perfect life as a governess could get. For one thing, it seemed likely that the Duke would, sooner or later, find a way to overcome his own problems as far as Eleri and Ffion were concerned.



He might even reach a point where the heritage of his nieces no longer troubled him to such an extent that it was an insurmountable barrier. Georgette knew that she had achieved a good deal in a short space of time and finally had the confidence that the girls would be able to keep what they had left of Wales and family life in their hearts without having to treat their own voices as a secret anymore. And, above all things, Georgette knew that she should remain hopeful and be pleased with the progress that had been made. After all, Eleri and Ffion were her main concern in all of this. If anything, her heart should simply be filled with hopes for their happiness and their futures, not her own. Especially since her own little ideas of what would make her happy were little ideas which could never come to fruition.



As Georgette continued to lie without moving, she decided that she would shift her state of being by force if necessary. She decided that every time she thought of the Duke of Draycott and her love for him, she would simply replace him in her mind’s eye with Eleri and Ffion and everything that those two beautiful little girls had overcome in their short lives.



She would throw herself into the learning of Welsh which was, finally, beginning to make a little more sense to her. Georgette smiled with grim determination, intent that she would learn the language so thoroughly that the girls would never, ever forget where they had come from. And that would keep her going; that would occupy her mind completely. Because, of course, it was so very much harder to learn a new language when one was no longer a child and able to soak up new information like a sponge. Her days could be so very full.



When Georgette finally heard Daisy’s footsteps approaching, she felt relieved by the idea of a few moments’ respite from her circular thinking. Sitting up somewhat stiffly, Georgette rose to her feet and stretched before making her way to the door.



“Here we are, Miss Darrington. Nice hot water,” Daisy said with a broad smile.



Although it had been some time since Georgette had been served scorched meals and delivered cold water with which to wash, still Daisy was pleased and excited by every day which passed without such spite. Whenever she delivered a beautifully cooked meal or evenly toasted bread, Daisy smiled so happily it was as if the food was meant for her and not the governess. Something about that seemed rather like true friendship. Georgette just wished that she and Daisy had a little more time to devote to that friendship and not simply a few minutes in the morning and again in the evening.



In truth, she had come to think as highly of Daisy as she did of her dear friend Henrietta and wondered quite how she and Daisy had come so far with so little time. Perhaps that was the mark of a firm friendship.



“Oh, thank you, Daisy,” Georgette said as Daisy placed the jug and bowl down on the table.



“Are you well, Miss Darrington? You seem to have been very quiet these last days,” Daisy said, looking concerned whilst still smiling.



“Yes, I am quite well; I thank you,” Georgette answered and found herself somewhat amazed that her young friend had perceived her low mood without her saying a single thing. “I have just been a little out of sorts, Daisy. Nothing serious, I promise you. I am just a little tired; that is all.”