A Gift of Three(5)

“Hey, Mom,” Field announced in greeting as he arrived on the terrace. “What’s going on?”

I grinned. “Grace has some good news.”

Field’s face lit up, and Lawrence appeared behind him, his eyes fixed on his wife.

“Did you find out?” he asked, a broad smile breaking across his handsome features.

Grace nodded, jumping up into his arms. “We’re having a girl!”

Lawrence swung her around, and as he did so, I caught a glimpse of his expression. He looked so elated, a fierce pride in his brown eyes as he clasped my daughter to him, looking like he never wanted to let her go. He had been so looking forward to the birth—building a wooden crib and preparing the baby room.

“Congratulations, Grace.” Field grinned. “Both of you. I’m looking forward to being an uncle. Does Dad know yet?” he asked, turning to me.

I shook my head; we’d be telling Ben tonight. My heart was already swelling at the thought of my husband’s reaction.

I glanced back at the couple, nudging Field in the direction of home. It looked like we should give my daughter and her husband some alone time. Field smirked, and flew down from the treehouse.

Grace extracted herself from Lawrence and flung her arms around me. “I want to be the one to tell Dad. Can you all come round a bit later?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” She let go of me and I waved goodbye to Lawrence, then joined Field on the ground below.

“Have you got anything going on tonight?” I asked, not knowing if he would be joining me and Ben this evening. Field spent most of his time with his brothers or Maura, his girlfriend, and it was a rare occasion when we got him for the entire evening.

“Nope,” he replied, flinging an arm around my shoulder. “No plans tonight. Thought I’d hang around with you and Dad, if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” I scolded, leaning up to peck him on the cheek. “I always want you with us, Field. Our home is your home—a fact you seem to forget a lot of the time.”

“I don’t forget,” he replied. “It’s just still a bit weird having an actual home. No matter how many years it’s been, I still can’t quite get used to the idea.” He shrugged. “And you know I prefer sleeping outdoors anyway.”

“I know.” I smiled. “Weirdo.”

“I know, I know.” He shrugged.

“What about when you move in with Maura, what are you going to do then?” I asked. He spent so much of his time there, I often wondered why it hadn’t happened already, but I supposed there was no real rush.

“I don’t know,” he replied, his expression shedding the lightheartedness of a moment ago and becoming pensive.

“Have you settled on any, um, longer-term plans?” I enquired gently.

Field went quiet. I wondered if I’d put my foot in it somehow, but a moment later he began to reply, his voice hesitant.

“I’m not sure,” he said slowly. “Sometimes I don’t know if Maura and I are…forever, you know?”

His comment surprised me. They had been dating for a long time, and I’d hoped that Field had found the same happiness that Ben and I shared. I tried not to let my surprise show, but I was silent for just a second too long.

“I mean, we’re happy together,” he added. “I suppose I just wonder how you know that it’s forever—like how you and Dad knew? Or Grace and Lawrence. I sometimes think that I’m just missing that part of me…that part that can totally trust my instincts. I keep thinking that I should ask Maura to marry me, but then something stops me—I don’t know what. It’s not like I don’t love her, or care for her deeply.”

I looked over at my son—at his aquamarine-colored eyes, dulled by worry, and the frown that marred his brow. After growing up without parents or a home, after the trauma he’d endured in the harpy “orphanage”, once Field arrived in The Shade to live with us, I’d hoped he’d never experience true anxiety again. That, at least so far as his personal life went, it would be smooth and easy from then on. Of course, I knew that was unrealistic, but seeing him troubled always made me ache inside.

“With your father and me,” I said, my speech slowing as I tried to give my reply consideration, “it was easy. I knew in every bone in my body that he was the one for me. I knew that early on in our relationship. But it’s not always like that. Sometimes love grows slowly, it takes longer to assert itself—for both people to realize they’re in love. Either way it’s just as meaningful. And you might not be ready yet to settle down and start a family, but that’s fine. It needs to be in your own time, honey.”