Home>>read A Gentleman’s Position free online

A Gentleman’s Position(53)

By:K. J. Charles


“Indeed not. Richard, if we are faced with a decision, I need to know what you will do.”

“I promised you that I would protect Mason while you need me to. I will do it if I have to rush him and Ash out of the country together.”

“You understand the consequences to your name and Harry’s.” Dominic looked rather pale.

“I understand them very well. I made you a promise. And in any case, I should not insult Harry by protecting him at Mason’s expense. He would not take that.”

“No, he wouldn’t. Richard, I’m frightened.”

“I imagine you are.”

“Silas doesn’t deserve this.” Dominic was staring at the wall. “He’s the worst sort of democrat and guilty as hell of seditious libel, but he had nothing to do with that accursed conspiracy of fools, and to see him hounded like this…I can’t. We still have so much to talk about.” His smile was a grimace. “I know you don’t understand—”

“Of course I damned well understand,” Richard said. “If I had bothered to look and listen, I should have understood from the start. I’m sorry I failed you in that.” And if he had not, perhaps he might have understood what he felt for David instead of denying what was in front of his own face for so long.

Dominic was silent for a few moments. Finally and carefully he said, “You know, Richard, you are a very imposing man, and of course a rich one, and used to having your way, and it is easy to feel that you are invulnerable. I wonder if I have ever quite understood that you are afraid too.”

Richard opened his mouth on a denial that somehow stuck in his throat.

“The burden of your father’s expectations, of course,” Dominic went on. “Duty, loyalty, responsibility, all excellent things, except that he did not forgive anything less than perfection, did he? Especially not from the second son who was obliged from birth to be ‘useful to your brother’ and ‘live up to your position.’ I grew to hate those words on your behalf, you know. Your mother may have called you the reserve, but it was your father who taught you that you had always to earn your right to exist.” Dominic made a face. “Well, I am damned sorry if you feel there was something more you should have done for me or that you owe me anything now, because you don’t. And I know we are all leaning on you, as we always do, but if you were as frightened and helpless as the rest of us, nobody would think the less of you for it. You don’t need to earn our affection, my dear. You have it anyway.”

Richard could find nothing to say. Dominic put a light hand on his. “I would wager, moreover, that Mr. Cyprian knows your feelings better than I do. Tell him the truth, and let him deal with it in his own way.”

“If he comes. And if he does, there’s every chance it will be out of loyalty to Mason rather than me, and I cannot let my personal affairs get in the way of dealing with this appalling tangle.”

“Whose personal affairs?”

Richard blinked at him, confused. Dominic returned a wry look. “Is it just your affair, Rich, and just your decision?”

“God damn it. Perhaps you could speak to him for me. I feel sure you would do better.”

“I have every faith in your ability to learn,” Dominic said, and added, under his breath, “Eventually.”



Richard went to visit Philip that afternoon. It was something to do with the endless day.

“Are you well, brother?” Philip asked. “You look somewhat worn.”

“I feel it. I am just back from an errand to Tarlton March, and any amount of business cropped up in my absence. Tell me something. What do you do when you and Eustacia disagree?”

“We rarely do. She knows my position and her own.”

Richard looked up from his teacup. “That does not sound like Eustacia.”

“On the contrary. I don’t mean that she is subservient. I mean that she does not disagree with me unless she thinks she must. And in all honesty, Richard, I have found that on those occasions she is correct or at least that she has identified something I had not considered. I have learned to listen to her.”

“Listening,” Richard said. “I have been told I need to do more of that.”

“It is…not easy.” Philip carefully rearranged the sugar bowl and milk jug. “One cannot be the Marquess of Cirencester, or even the master of lands such as you own, without certainty. If one is easily swayed or self-doubting…”

“No.”

Philip gave his quick, shy smile. “But even I should rather be married and occasionally corrected than stand alone, convinced of my own rightness.”