“I know. I know.”
“That was the worst period of my life; you gave me nothing but moral disapproval for lowering myself to associate with a man below my station, and all the while you were fucking your valet?” Dominic had a talent for shouting in a whisper that Richard, with his deeper voice, could not match. “After all that sanctimonious claptrap that I was abusing my position? You whoreson hypocrite. You utter shit.”
“I wasn’t,” Richard said urgently. “I had not laid a hand on him then, I swear. I was trying not to touch him!”
“But evidently you failed. So what the devil is going on? What did you do, why has he left now, and what were you shouting at Silas about? Because, may I remind you, he is not yours to shout at!”
“I can’t imagine why you think he cares what I say. And I didn’t— Ah God, Dominic. It was that accursed journey north. I had arrived to find my mother dead, it was dreadful, and…” He made a hopeless gesture. “I make no excuses. It was wrong, I know it. But it appears he…felt the same, he had hopes—”
“Your valet had hopes of you?”
“You are scarcely the man to remark on that.”
“I had not thought he was a fool,” Dominic retorted. “We all know you set your requirements for a lover impossibly high; I am amazed you deign to fuck below a baronetcy.”
“I didn’t. That is, I kissed him, nothing more. It was my fault, I took the blame—”
“I thought you said he felt the same,” Dominic put in. “Where does the blame lie?”
“For God’s sake, he’s my valet. Where do you think?”
“If you forced unwelcome attentions on him, then on your shoulders, and heavily. But since I doubt you did any such thing—”
“I might as well have done. I pay his wages. What choice had he?”
Dominic frowned. “We are talking about Cyprian, aren’t we?”
“Good God, are you not listening?”
“I am, yes. The last time I encountered your valet he was orchestrating an act of alarmingly ingenious perjury that snatched Silas off the gallows. I wasn’t aware he had become an incapable.”
“He’s the cleverest man I know, but I suggest you ask Mason how much use it is to be clever in the face of power. He is—was my servant, and I had a duty to him.” Richard turned away and stared at the empty fireplace. “And I failed. I had wanted him for so long, and…It was pure self-indulgence; I have no excuse. So I told him it was impossible, but he did not accept that. He, uh, made advances last night, which I repelled. I had to push him away.”
“Push. Physically? You are substantially larger than he is.”
“I know. And he has gone without explanation or farewell, or—” Richard’s throat closed on his own words. How could Cyprian have gone without farewell?
“It would be hard for him to stay and undress you, under the circumstances,” Dominic observed. “You know, when I risked my closest friendships, my reputation, and the safety of my friends over a love affair, at least I was getting well ploughed for it.”
“There is no need to be vulgar.”
“I am tempted to be extremely vulgar. This is unimpressive, Richard. I had thought better of you.”
Richard was not used to being the man at fault between them and discovered he did not like it. “What should I have done? You must see it was impossible. It would be a gross abuse while he remained my valet, and if he were not my servant, how should I associate with him?”
“Then you should have kept your hands to yourself. And having found yourself unable to do so, you should have looked for a way to proceed that would not be a gross abuse.”
“Such as?” Richard demanded.
“I don’t know. Did you talk to him?”
“Of course I did.”
“Did you listen to him?”
Richard couldn’t answer that. Dominic gave him a sardonic look. “It is, in any case, moot, since he has gone. I may add that it is no use bellowing at Silas. He is not an easy man to intimidate, and he does not inform. And if you take out your temper on him again, you and I will have words. He might not care, but I do.”
Richard had been ranging around the room. He dropped into his great armchair now, suddenly weary. “If he won’t tell me where Cyprian is, what can I do?”
“Hire a new valet,” Dominic said. “We will need to let the others know about this. Someone will have to speak to Quex’s and Millay’s, since we have no Cyprian to act as our flashman.”
“I wish you would not use that language.”