It wasn’t much of a push, but Ivy felt it.
Her grip on me tightened, turning painful even through the vamp pheromones. My thoughts pinged back to her tenderness before I reaffirmed it would only be blood we shared—and terror struck through me.
God help me. I had asked her to take the softer emotions of love away. I had asked her to divorce herself from the caring and love Kisten said she shackled her blood lust with—which only left hunger. She wasn’t going to stop. She had lost herself.
Fear scoured through me. She tasted it on the air, and without a sound she jerked me off balance. Crying out, I fell. Ivy followed, and we landed together against the tiny counter.
“Ivy! Let go!” I exclaimed, then moaned when she bit deeper until it hurt.
Adrenaline surged. I fought to get free, and Ivy’s grip broke. She fell away, and breathing heavily, I held my hand to my bleeding, throbbing neck and stared at her.
Her look was knowing, like that of a predator, and as ecstasy pounded through me in time with my heartbeat, my legs gave out and I slid helplessly to the floor.Ivy stood above me, my blood red within her mouth. She looked like a goddess—above all law both of the mind and soul. Her eyes were black and she smiled without memory, knowing that I was hers to do with what she wanted with no concept of right or wrong. Ivy was gone, controlled by the hunger I forced her to feel without the buffer of love. Oh God. I had killed myself.
I saw her thought to finish this an instant before she moved.
“Ivy, no!” I exclaimed, putting up an arm to fend her off.
It did no good.
I shrieked when she fell on me. It was every nightmare come true. I was helpless as she pinned my shoulders to the floor of the van. I took a breath to scream, but it turned into a moan of passion when she found my neck. A feeling of silver ice cracked through me. Ecstasy brought me to a heaving, arched-back pose for an instant before I fell, gasping for air.
We settled against the floor again as one, her hair falling soft about my throat in a silken brush as she buried her teeth deep and pulled once more. Moaning, I hung in a haze of pain, fear, and elation, her teeth inside me both fire and ice. I stared at the ceiling, focus gone while the heavy lethargy of paralysis filled my veins and exquisite rapture struck me alight even as I lost the will to move.
Ivy had done as I asked. She had abandoned her feelings of love, and was out of control. And as she let go of my arms to pull my neck to her mouth, I floated in realization that had come too late. I had asked her to change for me, and I was going to die for my temerity and stupidity.
A seeping numbness filled me. My pulse went faint and my limbs went cold. I was going to die. I was going to die because I was afraid to admit I might love Ivy.
I felt the distant thump as my hand fell from Ivy to hit the dirt-caked rug. It echoed through me, coming again and again, growing in strength as if it was my failing heartbeat. Someone was shouting distantly, but it paled in importance next to the glimmers of light that rimmed the edge of my sight, mimicking the exquisite sparkles in my mind and body. I exhaled as Ivy took everything, shivering as my aura slipped from me along with my blood. Ivy was the only warm thing in the world, and I wished she would press closer so I wouldn’t die cold.
The thumping of my heart seemed to hesitate at the frightening sound of metal tearing. Cold and light spilled over us, and I moaned when Ivy pulled away from me.
“Ivy!” Jenks shouted, and I realized that the thumping hadn’t been my heart but Jenks pounding at the back door. “What are you doing!”
“She’s mine!” Ivy snarled, unreal and savage.
I couldn’t move. There was a thundering bump, and the van rocked. The air flashed cold, and I whimpered. I hunched into myself, pulling my knees to my chest. My fingers went warm at the blood coming from me as I found my neck, then cold. I was alone. Ivy was gone. Someone was shouting.
“You stupid, stupid vampire bitch!” he exclaimed. “You promised! You promised me!”
I clutched in upon myself, squinting in the cold, shivering violently as I looked out the back of the van. Something had happened. I was cold. It was bright. Ivy was gone.
There was the snap of dragonfly wings. “Jenks…” I breathed, eyes slipping shut.
“It’s me, Ms. Morgan,” Jax’s higher voice said, and I felt the warm wash of pixy dust over my fingers clamped to my neck. “Tink’s knickers, you’re bleeding yourself out!”
But Ivy was crying, forcing my thoughts out of the dark van and into the sun.
“Rachel!” Ivy shouted, panic in her voice. “Oh God. Rachel!”
There was the ting of metal scraping, and a scuffle of feet.
“Get back!” Jenks demanded, and I heard Ivy cry out in pain. “You can’t have her. I told you I’d kill you if you hurt her!”
“She’s bleeding!” Ivy begged. “Let me help!”
I managed to crack my eyes. I was on the floor of the van, the scent of the matted green rug pressing into me musty and sharp. I could smell blood and cocoa. Shivering, I tried to see past the bright glare of the sun.
“Don’t move, Ms. Morgan,” Jax said intently, and I struggled to comprehend. My fingers were both warm and cold from my blood. There was another scrape of metal on stone, and I pulled my eyes to it, trying to focus.
The back of the van was open. Jenks was standing between Ivy and me, her long sword in his hand. Ivy was hunched and holding her bleeding arm, tears dampening her cheeks with desperate sorrow. My eyes met her panicked ones, and she lunged for me.
Jenks blurred into motion, Ivy’s katana slashing. She fell away, sprawling to roll on the pavement as she scrambled to remain out of his reach. My pulse leapt in fear when he followed, the sword clanging into the pavement three times, always an instant after she moved. My God, he was fast—and I think it was only his desire to stay between her and me that kept him from following to give a killing stroke.
“Jenks! Get out of my way!” she cried as she rolled to her feet with her hands raised placatingly. “She needs me!”
“She doesn’t need you,” he snarled. “You almost killed her. You stupid vampire! You couldn’t wait to get out from Piscary’s influence, could you? You seduced her, and then almost killed her. You could have killed her!”
“It wasn’t like that!” Ivy pleaded, crying now. “Let me get to her. I can help!”
“Why the hell do you care?” There was another clang of stone and metal, and I forced myself to breathe when my vision started to go black.
“Rachel!” Ivy cried, drawing my gaze to her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know this would happen! I thought I was better! I really did. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”
Jenks made a fierce cry, lunging. Ivy sprang back, arms pinwheeling. He followed her down, and the two froze when she landed against the pavement. Blood leaked from between her fingers clenched about her upper arm, and my heart seemed to hesitate when Jenks ended his last sword swing inches from her throat. Fighting my numb daze, I dragged myself to the door. He was going to kill her. He had killed before to save my life. He was going to kill Ivy.
Jenks stood with his feet widespread and his stance terrible. “You stupid, selfish whore of a vampire,” he intoned. “You said you wouldn’t. You promised. Now you’ve ruined everything. You couldn’t accept what she could give, so you took it all!”
“I didn’t.” Ivy sprawled in the sun with her sword at her throat, the sun glinting on it and her tears. “I told her no. I told her to stop,” she wept. “She asked me to.”“She wouldn’t ask for this,” he spat, jerking the sword so it touched her white skin to leave a line of red. “You ruin everything you love. Everything, you screwed-up bitch. But I’ll be damned before I let you ruin Rachel.”
Ivy’s eyes darted to mine, her face tear-streaked and terrified. Her mouth moved but no words came out. My gut twisted when I saw her accept his words as truth. Jenks held the sword to her throat; he was going to use it and Ivy would do nothing to stop him.
Jenks shifted his grip. He pulled the sword back. Ivy looked at me, too lost in guilt to do anything.
“No,” I whispered, panicking. My grasping fingers reached the edge of the van and, feet scrabbling weakly, I pushed myself forward. Jax was in my way, shrilling something and his dragonfly wings sparkling in my darkening vision.
“Jenks, stop!” I cried out, falling out of the van. Ice hard and cold, the pavement hit my shoulder and hip, scraping my cheek. I took a breath that was more like a cry, focusing on the gray pavement as if it was my coming death. Oh God. Ivy was going to let Jenks kill her.
“Rachel!” There was the clatter of the sword falling, and suddenly Jenks was there, his arms picking me up and cushioning me against the hard ground. Struggling, I focused on him, shocked he was so close. He didn’t like anyone touching him.
“It wasn’t her fault,” I breathed, focusing on his eyes. They were so green, I forgot what I wanted to say. My breath sounded harsh and my throat hurt. “It wasn’t her fault.”
“Shhhh,” he whispered, his brow creasing when I moaned as he hoisted me into his arms and lurched to his feet. “It’s going to be all right. You’re going to be all right. She’s going to leave. You don’t have to worry about her again. I won’t let any vampire hurt you. I can do this. I’ll stay big, and make sure no one hurts you again. It’ll be okay. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”