Danger! Danger! I visualized flashing sirens going off inside the store and opened my mouth to interject, but it was too late.
Martha strode forward and poked Chip Rosenthal in his chest. Hard. So hard that he staggered back a step.
“Now listen here, you little pipsqueak. How dare you waltz in here and speak to my good friend Daisy like that? You need to learn to mind your manners.”
To his credit, Chip recovered quickly. He glared at her and straightened his tie. “I have no idea who you are, ma’am, but this is between me and my tenant. This lease is nothing to do with you.”
Martha tossed her mane of fiery red hair. “Well I’m making it my business, snot nose.”
“Oh, for God’s sake.” Chip fumbled with his cell phone, as if hoping it would morph into some kind of Taser to zap her with.
“Hey, I have a good idea.” She thrust her not inconsiderable chest out and towered over him in her leopard-print pumps. “How about you take your dumb lease and stick it where the sun don’t shine?”
I finally found my voice. “Martha, please . . .”
“Zip it,” Eleanor muttered, coming up and elbowing her sharply in the side.
Two bright spots appeared on Chip’s sallow cheeks, and he pointed the phone at me. “You can call off your pit bull now. Either sign the lease or be out by the end of the month.” He spun around on his shiny brogue shoes and stalked out.
The door crashed behind him, and we stood there in shock until the bell finally stopped jangling.
Eleanor was the first to speak. “Mais oui. I think that went well.”
“Sorry, Daisy, but he just made me so mad.” Martha picked up the fan again. “I might have gone a bit overboard, though.”
Eleanor snorted. “No kidding, Captain Obvious.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “Do you think he’s serious about a bistro? Is that why he wants to push me out?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure he’d get approval for it. Martha, do we know anyone on the zoning board? Don’t worry, Daisy, we’ll find a way to squash it. Make sure he never gets a liquor license.”
Suddenly I remembered Marybeth talking about making it a point to stay friendly with zoning board members and developers. “I can ask Marybeth Skelton. She has some connections.”
“What’s her motivation to help you?” Eleanor asked. “If you stay where you are, she gets nothing in commission.”
“Oh, jeez, you’re right. Well, I’ll offer to pay her a fee.”
“Bribery?” She picked up two of the honey madeleines.
“No, no, I mean for the work she already did. For taking me out to the places she’s shown me. For her time.”
I knew it would be more a matter of pride with Marybeth anyway. She was a savvy real estate agent who knew that if she took care of me, I’d recommend her to others or use her again someday. Real estate wasn’t a one-off kind of business.
At that moment, PJ Avery bounced into the store like a skinny female Tigger. “Hey! What’s goin’ on? I was just passing by.”
She frowned as she looked at us. “What’s the matter with you guys? Did someone else take a dirt nap?”
“No. No one died,” I replied in a dull voice. “Well, not unless you count the death of my business, that is.”
“Buck up, Daisy,” Martha said, with a worried glance at Eleanor. “That doesn’t sound like you. You’re usually Miss Glass Is Half Full.”