Inexplicably my mood brightens, despite hearing his name. Not much, but some, and I chuckle. “Sure…what do you need help with?”
She hangs her head as we make our way to the parking lot. I’ve long since stopped looking for Kieron’s truck, having accepted that he’s gone and never coming back.
“Well, it’s kinda embarrassing. I’m not doing all that great in math, but right now I’m failing history and English. I try the best I can, but my writing is terrible…I can’t remember all the stupid rules. And in history, I keep getting confused about who did what when, and why I should care. Math…that I just suck at, period. And don’t even get me started on chem.” She lets out a troubled sigh. “I’m just really scared ‘cause if I mess up too bad and don’t graduate…” She looks away, but not before I catch the glistening in her eyes.
“No prob…I can totally help you.” Finally. My useless brilliance might be good for something other than making the stupid teachers think they’ve actually taught me something.
“Really, you can? I mean, you will? That’s great!” Her voice is overflowing with relief. “I wish I could pay you for your time, but I don’t have any money. Maybe I could wash your car or clean your—”
I laugh so loud it surprises me. “Corinne, stop it. Don’t be silly. I’d love to help you, and you don’t have to pay me or do anything for me. The extra study would benefit me, too,” I lie.
She smiles wide, flashing her crooked teeth. “Wow, thank you so much. That’s so cool of you. Um…when are you free? I know nights don’t really work for you.”
“I’m free in the afternoons. I just need to be home by dark. So any days you want.”
The more I think about helping Corinne, the more I like the idea. I desperately need something…anything… to help occupy my mind and distract me from the endless hours of torment. Something to focus on other than…
“You wanna do it now? The library is open till six.”
“Sure.”
We stroll toward the circular building, and I can’t help but think of the time I came here with Kieron. Will I ever be able to do anything again without thinking of him?
Corrine is an eager student, and listens to me carefully. As the afternoon progresses, I’m more and more amazed at how much I enjoy teaching her things…the feeling of satisfaction I get deep inside when she gives me that look of understanding. After she answers some complex math questions, I don’t know who is more proud, her or me. And the gratitude in her eyes when our session is up...utterly priceless.
“Liora, I don’t know how to thank you. You are such an amazing teacher. You explain everything in a way that actually makes sense. Already, I feel like I understand so much better. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.”
“Wanna do it again tomorrow?” I ask. The afternoon has flown by so quickly, I know I need to get going soon. But other than the days spent with Kieron, this was the best afternoon I’d had in a long time.
She bobs her head up and down eagerly. “Yes…I want to, need to…keep going, for as long as you’re willing to help me. If I don’t do well in my classes…if I don’t graduate…” She drops her head.
Impulsively, I give her a hug. “You’ll do fine…and I promise you’ll graduate.”
“I have to,” she whispers under her breath. “It’s the only way I’ll ever get out of my house and out of this God-forsaken town.”
“You can do it, Corinne. I know you can. And I’ll help as much as you need.”
“Liora, thank you…thank you so much. You really don’t know what this means to me. You are saving my life. You…you’re an angel.”
I smile, her effusive praise making me feel strangely warm. I’ve never been on the receiving end of such gratitude before and it makes me feel good inside. Really good. It’s nice to feel needed, and even better, to feel appreciated. To feel that I have a purpose.
“I’m no angel, but I’m happy to help. We’ll do more tomorrow after class.”
“Okay, great. Thanks again. See ya.” She waves vigorously, heading toward her bus stop.
Automatically, I head into the woods, only remembering a mile or so into my trek that I’d driven to school today. I wish I had remembered sooner. It’s getting dark earlier these days, and I’d stayed at school longer than I probably should have. If I don’t hurry, I won’t have time to eat dinner, and Lucky has definitely been consuming way too much alcohol lately; even more, I suspect, than is necessary for her to function properly. Every morning for the past two weeks I’ve awakened to Tatiana sitting by my side, pink hangover remedy in hand.