To anyone else, I’m sure it would seem like I’m overreacting. So what if Kieron was at the mall with Drusilla. So what if they were sitting by each other, laughing, obviously enjoying each other’s company. So what? It’s not like he and I were anything special, or ever could be. And we’ve only known each other for what, a week?
Somehow, it feels longer. Much longer. And even though it was obviously all in my head, it’d felt like our connection was deeper than just friends. For the first time in years, I actually wanted to let down some of the walls I’d built to protect my secret. I wanted him to see me. Moreover, I wanted to see him. Really know him.
But it’s definitely better this way. He needs to be with a girl like Drusilla, and I need to be alone. It’s the only way. It’s too dangerous allowing myself to fall for someone, when, inevitably, both of us will be hurt—and in his case, destroyed.
How selfish of me to even entertain the notion of a having a relationship… how cruel…
How pathetic.
There is a light tapping on the door. “No school today, remember? I get to be lazy all morning,” I call out. Tatiana ignores my words and enters.
“Rise and shine. It’s a glorious day outside,” she sings, carrying in a large glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice.
I sit up, smiling at my guardian. Oh, how I love Tatiana. She’s always been here for me, through good times and bad. She’s the one whose shoulder I can always cry on. The one whose ear is always available to listen to my problems. The one who reminds me who I am, even when I feel my most worthless. No one else could’ve handled me and Lucky the way she has, with effortless grace, eternal patience, and limitless understanding.
Impulsively, I hug her and plant a kiss on her cheek. She responds with a crackly laugh. “What’s all this?”
“Just felt like giving you a hug is all. I don’t give you enough of them and that’s going to change.”
“Well, you won’t be hearing me complain about that,” she says, her white eyes crinkling in amusement. “What’s brought this on? Not that I mind, of course.”
I lie back down, propping myself up on the pillows and sipping some of the juice. “Dunno. I just feel like, life is too short. Gotta tell the ones you love how you feel before it’s too late.”
The words come out of my mouth without me even thinking about them. I scrunch my eyebrows together, trying to think what would be making me feel this way. Perhaps I’m still affected by what happened at school? Yes, that must be it. I am normally not the sentimental type.
“Well, I appreciate the gesture. Now hurry up and finish your juice. You don’t want to keep your visitor waiting.”
“Ack! What? What visitor?”
She brings her hand to her mouth. “Sorry, dear, I got distracted with your lovely hug. Yes, there’s a gentleman caller waiting for you outside. I told him you would be getting up soon, and he said he’d wait. But you mustn’t keep him waiting too long.”
I’m already halfway to the bathroom. Quickly, I splash some water on my face and brush my teeth. My eyes are bloodshot and a bit swollen. Was Lucky crying last night?
I run a brush through my hair, briefly touching that place on my neck where it burns a good twenty degrees hotter than the rest of my body. The crimson star, permanently branded on me at birth, is a constant reminder of a world I’d like to forget. It’s always there, haunting me.
I throw on some jeans and a sweater. Even though the sun is making a rare appearance today, it’s still cold outside. My hands shake as I fumble with the laces on my boots.
Why is Kieron here?
It has to be him; no other guy has ever come to my house before. I don’t even think anyone else knows exactly where I live.
I race to the front door, only slowing down at the last moment so as not to appear too eager. I take a deep breath. He’s there, leaning against the truck, his beautiful face bathed in the glow of the soft morning light.
“Liora, hi. Hope you don’t mind me stopping by,” he says, ambling toward me.
“Of course not, its fine. How are you?” My heart speeds up the way it always does when he comes close…actually, when he’s anywhere in the vicinity.
“I’m good. I would’ve called, but I don’t have your cell number. And your home phone isn’t listed anywhere.”
He checked? “Um, yeah, we don’t have one.”
He tilts his face to the sky. His skin looks so smooth it’s like one of those air-brushed models in a magazine. “I was wondering what you were doing today…if you had any plans.”
I shake my head. “No, nothing special planned. Just gonna hang out, maybe do some homework later…”