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A Demon Made Me Do It(25)

By:Penelope King


The final bell rings. As we enter the classroom, I realize I’ve been holding my breath. The air comes out in a whoosh. Wordlessly, and with my heart in my stomach, I head to my usual spot in the back.

The seat beside mine remains empty.

There have been many strange events in my life, but nothing as thoroughly bizarre as the utterly irrational and borderline insane feelings I experience sitting through class without Kieron there beside me.

Part of me wants to cry. The other part is angry ‘cause I’m being such a basket case. My crushing disappointment that he’s not here is so completely ludicrous—what the hell is wrong with me?

I suppose in a twisted way this all makes sense. It was only a matter of time before I went officially crazy; I’m just surprised it hadn’t happened before now. Maybe I should go talk to the school counselor. Maybe I should go into her little office with the tacky 80’s décor, have a seat on her cracked vinyl couch, and tell her that being a demi-demon who stays up all night drinking, tormenting humans, killing other demons for kicks, and crushing on an incubus-slash-Hound of Hell is really starting to take a toll on my emotional well-being. See if she has any helpful suggestions for me.

I sigh, much louder than I mean to, and the girl in front of me giggles. Mr. Sodenberg shoots me a warning glare but keeps reading. Grateful for the pass, I focus on my book and vow to make it through the day, one excruciating minute at a time. How stupid I was to think some random new cute guy would change anything in my life. Nothing has changed. In fact, his being here only makes things worse. Makes me more aware of what I’m missing, what I can never have.

That there truly is no place for me in this world.

A few years ago, Tatiana confided that she believes I’ll always remain human. So I had to learn to be like a human, assimilate, and really become one. Prepare for my future life as a regular human. But really, what hope for a normal life could I ever hope to have? Most girls my age will go to college or get jobs, find husbands and raise families. Sure, I guess I can get a job, but there’s no way I’m suffering through more school. And forget ever falling in love and getting married. How could a human male ever understand? And I loathe other demions, even more than they despise me. I’m a freak of their kind, nothing but a pathetic “Sapie” girl. Having kids is out of the question, too. No way will I be responsible for bringing any more monsters into this world.

The only thing certain about my future is that I’ll be living it all alone. Just me and Tatiana. And probably a bunch of cats. Isn’t that how spinsters live?

Tatiana always tells me my humanity is a gift…a blessing. But to me, it feels like a cruel curse. I’d secretly hoped Lucky would be successful in killing the Amazèa, even though the odds aren’t in our favor. Death isn’t nearly as frightening as the prospect of living the rest of my life alone as an unwanted outsider. Before that horrible day, I knew who I was and where I belonged. Not anymore. Now I’m nothing but an empty shell void of the supernatural powers and abilities that define my kind. I straddle two worlds but belong to neither.

Maybe, if Lucky does manage to kill the Amazèa one day, I’ll return to how I was before. Things were very different then, but they were good…turning off my painful feelings in a blink whenever I wanted to. Never feeling scared, or alone. Most importantly, feeling like I was always going to be all right.

Wouldn’t that be nice.

******





I move through the rest of my morning like a robot, vaguely aware of speaking when spoken to and nodding my head at the appropriate times. Kieron isn’t in any of our morning classes, so as I head out to join Corrine for lunch, I force myself to accept the fact he’s not showing up today.

It’s funny, though, how no one else’s world seems any different for it. While I feel like something precious and valuable has been taken from me, I see Corrine happily chatting by the fountains. Across the quad, Drusilla is holding court with her cronies looking as smug and satisfied as ever. Neither seems to notice or care that Kieron’s not around.

Corinne is already sitting with two other girls, Emme and Skye. Emme has blue hair and three nose rings, and Skye has kept her head completely shaved since last year. They’re nice enough, and mostly keep to themselves. Corrine and I consider them our ‘outcast allies’. I take a seat beside Skye and slowly unwrap my tuna sandwich.

I try to pay attention as they yap about music and boys, but my mind wanders back to Kieron.

“Hello, Earth to Liora,” Emme waves her hands in front of me.

“Huh?” I snap out of my daze.