Principal Winters opens his door and clears his throat. “Miss Greyson, come in.” He definitely isn’t happy to see me. But that’s the reaction of most people. Some, like Ms. Fleming, openly despise me. Others try to act nice, but I can always tell they feel uncomfortable. It’s all about the eye contact—or lack thereof. People tend to look off to the side when speaking to me, or just glance for a nanosecond before averting their gaze. Maybe eyes really are the windows to the soul, and they don’t want to see how ugly mine is.
“So, Liora, what brings you here today?” He relaxes in his chair as if we’re going to have a nice chat about the weather, his eyes focusing on the wall behind me.
I actually like Mr. Winters. He sort of reminds me of Santa Claus, and unlike his repulsive secretary, he genuinely seems to care about the students. I even give him some credit for trying to be nice to me.
“I may have nodded off in English class. Mr. Sodenberg wasn’t happy about it.”
“Ahh, yes.” He nods as if he understands completely. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Fine.”
“How are things at home?”
“Perfect.”
His smile fades. “How is your grandmother these days? I know you take care of her by yourself and that must be quite a burden for you.”
“She’s great. Absolutely no trouble at all.”
He frowns, determined to solve me…to fix me. Yeah, good luck with that.
“Are you bored in your classes, Liora?”
Why, yes. Yes I am, Principal Winters. I am bored out of my freakin’ mind! This place makes me stupider by the minute!
“No, I’m fine. Academically challenged. Intellectually stimulated.”
He ignores my sarcasm. “I’m going to be straight with you, Liora. I’m becoming very concerned with your behavior lately…”
That makes two of us…
“…this is the fourth time you’ve been sent here in the last two weeks. Skipping classes, the incident in gym…”
“I told you, that fight wasn’t my fault,” I interrupt, but there’s no point in arguing. I’m pretty sure he won’t buy my ‘a-demon-made-me-do-it’ excuse, but I’m half-tempted to say it anyway. But then he’ll just send me to the school guidance counselor again, and she’ll tell Tatiana she’s concerned with my mental health again. Tatiana will have to smooth things over again and get mad at me again. Pass.
He leans forward in his chair and shuffles some papers on his desk. “There is no question you are academically gifted. Your test scores are consistently the highest in your class and your grades impeccable, despite your apparent lack of effort. Your future is wide open for any number of incredible educational and professional opportunities, if you so desired. Yet you don’t appear to care at all, and this concerns me. You seem to enjoy mocking anyone who tries to help you. I just wish I knew where this poor attitude of yours comes from.”
Trust me, you don’t want to know. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better. More caring, less mocking. I promise.” I force a smile and hope that’s the end of it.
But my optimism quickly turns into dread when the familiar stinging creeps up from my stomach, over my chest, and down my arms and legs. She’s back.
I need to get away from here. Unfortunately, Principal Winters still wants to chat. He opens a file and carefully peruses its contents. I shift uncomfortably in my seat and take several deep breaths, focusing all of my energy on remaining present and in control.
I am Liora Greyson… I am Liora Greyson… I am Liora Greyson.
But Her electric threads of fire spread throughout my body like a swarm of army ants marching to battle. A battle I will lose.
“Have you given any more thought to your plans after graduation? Mrs. Collins has reported you’ve skipped all of your college prep counseling appointments. As a senior, you don’t have much time left to get your applications in. I have taken the liberty of finding some schools…”
I am Liora Greyson. I am human. I am here. This is my time, not yours…
My silent chant goes unheeded. It’s futile to ever try to fight Her. Her energy overtakes me and again I’m nothing more than a mere spectator—a silent, powerless passenger in my own body. She fixes my gaze hypnotically on Mr. Winters, who instantly freezes and stares back.
“Mister Winters, excuse me, Principal Winters, thank you for your concern, but there’s no need to worry about me anymore. I have things figured out and will be just fine. I’m leaving now, and you won’t stop me. In fact, you’ll forget you even saw me today. Everything’s cool as far as Liora Greyson is concerned. She’s your favorite student. You adore her.” My voice sounds sweeter than sugar drenched in honey.