Because it was control that reigned over him.
Something snapped inside Lexi. She had wanted to start living her life; she wanted to take a risk. And going to bed with Nikos Demakis was one. On every level there was. He had a hundred lovers where she’d had one. But even more than that, Nikos was a risk because he refused to let her hide, because he refused to let her shrink away from the truth, he didn’t coddle her.
And she didn’t want that to change.
She hugged her arms, and forced the words out. “This isn’t what I want.”
He stood up from the couch like a coiled spring, his face a tight mask. She kept her gaze on his, amazed at how steady he looked. His jaw was granite. “We will leave immediately.”
“I don’t want to leave.”
He covered the distance between them and smiled. With his hands on her shoulders, he tugged her closer, and smiled. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have started this here. I know you are new to all this...” He pressed a furious kiss to her mouth, his lips clinging devouring, until she couldn’t breathe. That’s what she wanted—his passion. “It’s not the end of it, either.” He pulled back, and this time he didn’t sound so steady.
She pushed his hands away, her heart stuttering to a halt. “Stop trying to protect me, Nikos. You’re acting just like Tyler.”
His gaze blazed with anger. “I don’t know what you are talking about. But you should know this. No man wants to hear the ex’s name and definitely not like that.”
“Then stop acting like him.”
A curse fell from his mouth. “Explain.”
“You are doing what you think I want. You’re not being yourself.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.”
“I’m not going to break, Nikos. I want honesty between us, whether it is in the way you make love to me, or when it’s time for you to say we’re done. You are controlling yourself, wondering if I will break, wondering if you will hurt me.”
He pushed his hair back, and Lexi noticed he was not as in control as she thought. This was not the Nikos that had pushed her into admitting how much she wanted him. Something had changed in him; something had changed between them, and she didn’t know what.
“I won’t be responsible for hurting you. Despite everything I proposed and did, I never intended to.”
“Then tell me...no wait, show me what you like. Do this...” She moved her hand between them. “Make love to me the way you would do it with Nina, or Emmanuelle.”
He jerked back from her as though she had polluted the air by speaking those names in this moment between them. “Christos! Stop comparing yourself to them. I cannot forget everything I know about who and what you are.”
Lexi bit her lower lip. Warmth that had nothing to do with desire and lust flew through her veins. He was making concessions for her. She didn’t want him to, but she couldn’t help being affected by it, either. “You’ll hurt me more if you are not yourself, Nikos. I believe that Tyler... He only slept with me because he thought it would make me happy. I can’t bear the thought that you are doing the same...”
“Theos! I can’t think straight with wanting you. I’ve never spent so much time thinking about it instead of just doing it.”