A.D. 30(78)

He would leave me now? So soon? Then what was I to him?

I nearly said so much, but then the worlds of Yeshua came to me and I held my tongue. I was to accept my path. Did this not mean I must allow Judah to follow his path as well?

Saba, however, did not accept.

“Return now? This would be a fool’s turn.”

“How can you say?” Judah challenged. “Was it not Yeshua himself who said we must follow?”

“Your duty is first to Rami and the Kalb, to whom you gave your word. There is trouble yet—this he said as well.”

“Only while we wait, Saba. Did you not hear him speak to me? Seek first the kingdom and all else will be added. Am I a fool to seek that kingdom first? It was for this I was born, I tell you. I am from among the Bedu who followed the stars to find this king. I must do the same. And when he calls for it, I will offer my sword.”

“Your sword?” Saba said. “He speaks of peace.”

“I was also told by his own disciples that he claims he did not come to bring peace, but the sword, even to divide.”

“Then perhaps they misunderstand,” I said.

“There is nothing to misunderstand,” Judah said.

His way seemed set and it didn’t seem to include me. I had made it possible for Judah to see Yeshua as a means of returning the affection he’d shown me. And now he would leave me for his greater passion.

Once again I felt the fear of being abandoned, as I had been abandoned my whole life.

“You must not jeopardize our mission, Judah,” Saba said quietly. “If you think with your heart, then remember that Maviah also is in your heart.”

“I would never allow any harm to come to Maviah!” Judah cried. “Please, Maviah, you must hear me in this.”

“Are you not in my service first?” I challenged.

He hesitated. “Yes, of course.” Then he turned his gaze ahead. “I will return for you and together we will follow Yeshua. You will see.”

“No, Judah. I must return to Dumah. This is the task before me.”

He remained silent. My heart softened for him, because I knew that he could not abandon Yeshua any more than he could be separated from himself. Or from me. But had he not dreamed of Yeshua longer? I had only just become his charge.

“I will never abandon you, Maviah,” he said. “God forbid.”

“You are right, Judah. Go to Yeshua while you can. Seek the council of your brothers. Saba will keep me safe.”

I said it, but my heart ached with his rejection, and I think he knew it because he could not respond.

We rode in silence, strangely deflated after our powerful encounter with the master. I could only set my mind on what I knew to be my course. I was to put aside any fear of failing to restore honor to the Kalb and to myself. Fear was my greatest enemy.

I remembered the power that had passed up my arm upon Yeshua’s touch, and I released all my self-pity, setting my shoulders squarely to the west. Surely his lingering presence gave me the courage to be who I was.

And was I not a queen?

The sun was hugging the western sky when we finally approached Sepphoris and made our way to the palace. Phasa began to come into her own with the high walls in sight, and when we entered the gates to the acropolis she laughed with delight.

“What I will do for a hot bath tonight. It is good to be home, is it not, Maviah? You must admit, the ways of the countryside are harsh. Tonight we will dine and drink.”

“We will, Phasa.” I offered my best smile. She had been born into the house of the Nabataean king, Aretas, then traded in marriage to Herod. Did she not deserve her bath and wine?

Phasa cared not that the guard saw us returning. We were home safe, this was what mattered to her. And when she saw Malcheus waiting at the steps that led up to the palace, she hurried her camel to greet him.

“Well, Malcheus, what did I say to you? We have returned without harm. Call the servants to my quarters at once. We would bathe and dine.”

But Malcheus did not appear relieved.

“Of course, my lady. As you say. But you should know that the queen, Maviah, has a guest.”

“A guest?” Phasa slid from her camel, which Saba had couched. “So late? What kind of guest?”

“He will not give his name. I only know that he is from among the Sanhedrin in Jerusalem.”

“The Sanhedrin? What can those scoundrels want with us?”

“Only Maviah. Alone, he said. He waits in Herod’s court.”

“Impossible!” Judah said. “Maviah will take no guests.”

Phasa looked at me. “Whom do you know from Jerusalem?”

“No one. It must be a mistake.”

“Saba, what say you to this?”