And were his words about fear not also true for all those oppressed under the fist of Rome? Do not resist but accept, he would surely say. This is the lot given you. Do not cringe in fear, for you will only lose what you already have. Rome is a harsh taskmaster, as is all of life. Do not fear it.
Judah remained with the other disciples, Jews all. Peter, Levi, Andrew, and several others whom I did not know. They stayed close to Yeshua, hurrying to help like servants of a king.
Nicodemus had left in the morning, I was told, for he could not be seen with Yeshua in public.
I remained with Phasa and Saba under the shade of a tree, within hearing of Yeshua when he spoke for all to hear.
What I heard remained for the most part mystery to me, but I didn’t care. I knew that I was witness to the turning of some great tide.
Happy are the poor in spirit, he said, speaking of humility, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Happy are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Happy are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Happy are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
But this made little sense. He was speaking of what was seen as weak as leading to fulfillment. It was the way of the world turned on its head.
Then, speaking in my direction so that I was sure he could see me as he spoke: Happy are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
As when he’d told the story of the treasure in the field, I knew then that a pure, undivided focus was required to find Yeshua’s treasure. Like that of a child fixated on a simple task with the faith that it could be done.
But he said more.
You are the light of the world, he said to all the people gathered—young and old, men and women, diseased and whole, clean and unclean. Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. And when he said “in heaven,” I immediately recalled that this kingdom of heaven was now at hand and within me.
But was I also the light as he claimed? How could I be? I saw only darkness in my life.
The eye is the lamp of the body, he said. If your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. And more: How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly.
The problem with my life, then, was my own eyes, I thought. My perspective of the world determined whether I saw light or darkness, offense or mercy. I was blinded by a plank of grievance and saw only darkness.
Give me new eyes, I found myself begging. Remove this plank from my eyes that I might see the same light that you see.
Yeshua’s Father was near, shared by all, for he said “your Father,” which made Yeshua’s Father my true Father, did it not? Was I then this god’s daughter? And if I had been a man, would I not be his son? Why else would Yeshua call him my Father?
His affection for the Father was plain even in the way he gently said that word, Father, sometimes using the more intimate expression Abba, as little children might call their father. Unless you become like a child…
His intimate union with his Father was a mystery to me, for I could not conceive of such a father. Yet his words and his presence pulled at my heart in ways that stilled my breathing.
And his compassion for the children was unlike any man I had seen. When others tried to send them away as was the custom for all peoples in the desert, Yeshua bid them come. And the moment he smiled and stroked their hair they calmed and returned his gaze with wide wonder in their eyes.
He was a father to them, I thought, and seemed to hold them in the highest regard, for it was to simple minds like theirs that Yeshua’s Father revealed himself.
I thought of my own son and prayed that he was now with a Father so loving. With Yeshua’s god, which he claimed to be the only god. In that moment I prayed it to be so.
As Nicodemus had said the previous evening, Yeshua often recited their sacred law given by their god, speaking for all to hear, “You have heard it said…” and then speaking of a different way, saying, “But I say to you.” And each time I wondered if he invited great danger by speaking blasphemy against their religion.
But surely no one could stand against a man with such power.
You have heard it said, “Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth,” he said. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.
Love your enemies, he said. But these teachings I could not comprehend, for they crushed my need for retribution. Even so, I was in awe of him.
Do not judge or you too will be judged, he said. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.