My parents had been murdered. Shot through the chest with sawed-off shotguns by gang members seeking to rob our tiny apartment. I remembered being both horror-struck and mesmerized by the holes where their hearts had beat. And how I tried to shield my sisters from the gruesome chunks of bone and the blood saturating the pullout couch where they’d slept. Evil had taken my parents. Just like it had claimed Paul and his group. I wished I could have spared Aric from finding them. But all I could do was tighten my embrace. “I’m so sorry, Aric,” I repeated once more.
“I am, too, baby.”
The sun finished setting across the length of our suite, the last bits of light catching the corner of the dresser’s mirror and reflecting until the room darkened with nighttime. “What can I do to help?”
Aric’s stubbled jaw gently rubbed against my neck. “This.” His hands slipped beneath my scrub top to rest against the deep curve of my lower back. “You help by being with me.”
“It doesn’t seem like enough.” A thought occurred to me. “I can organize the funeral arrangements if you’d like. It may help ease the burden of those mourning Paul.”
Aric’s chest hardened against the side of my face. “Celia, it’s best the weres handle everything.”
“Okay. I understand.” I sighed. “Do you know when the funeral is? I have to work on Thursday, but I can ask for the day off.”
The sudden strain that beat a space between us halted my words. Aric’s hands slid delicately from my back to my hips. And though his touch remained soft, it couldn’t suppress the tension firing his stare. “The funeral will be held at the Den’s chapel.” He paused. “Only weres and their mates are permitted on the premises.” He pulled me against him when my body unexpectedly slipped from his hold. “Sweetness, don’t. I swear I wouldn’t attend a Den function without you under different circumstances.”
I didn’t know Paul well. So Aric’s suggestion the weres handle the funeral hadn’t affected me. As far as the service went, I’d assumed . . . My lid shuts tight, trying to prevent my tears from leaking out. Aric said only mates were permitted on Den grounds. Mates. His clarification and my earlier conversation with Miguel told me the thing I’d avoided coming to terms with.
I wasn’t Aric’s mate. No matter how much I wanted to be.
Pain made me cringe from his gentle strokes. My wolf wouldn’t let me go. His lips found mine with desperation. “Don’t,” he said between breaths. “Don’t leave me.”
Aric lifted me and carried me to our bed. His heat soldered us together like iron to steel while one of his hands loosened the tie on my pants, giving him ample room to explore. Maybe he needed to feel close to me, to pretend our inevitable end didn’t linger in the horizon. And maybe I needed the same. So I didn’t leave, and I didn’t stop him. I allowed the warmth between us to soar, and fool our aching hearts.
Aric yanked my shirt over my head. His tongue slid from behind my ear to my neck. And then he froze.
He lifted himself from me, anger replacing the scorching passion linking our bodies. “Were you with him?”
I pushed up on my elbows, panting softly. “What?” Understanding raced to the forefront of my mind before the word completely left my mouth. Aric had scented traces of Misha. The weight of his accusation pushed like a palm against my chest. I’d showered again after Misha had left. But it hadn’t been enough. Aric’s intakes of breath multiplied. And not from passion.
I sat and wiped the tears that hadn’t managed to stop in spite of his caresses. “You know I would never do that to you.”
Aric’s jaw tightened. “Then why is his rancid scent against your skin?”
I reached for my shirt, unable to look at him. The day hadn’t started well. Fate had propelled it in a dreadful direction. And now it ended with an insolent slap. I pulled my shirt back on and attempted to bind the pant string. My sobs rested close to the surface, and the lump in my throat ached with a throbbing tightness. My hands trembled so badly I abandoned the ties and buried my face into my palms. Aric didn’t trust me. Was he so blind to my love? Couldn’t he see that I’d die for him without thinking twice?
“Celia. Why do you carry his scent!”
My hands fell away from my face. “Misha came to see me at work today uninvited. He grabbed me against him. I wasn’t expecting it—”
“I will fucking kill him!”
“No. You won’t.” I took Aric’s hands in mine. “He didn’t hurt me, Aric. He just surprised me. I made it clear we were together and that he needed to respect our relationship.” My eyes burned and my vision blurred. “I told him that you . . . that you mean everything to me. And that I couldn’t picture my life without you.”