A Convenient Arrangement(70)

“Comfortable?”

He nodded. He settled back into the squishy couch cushion with Adrianna in his arms, her featherweight body cradled against his chest. He leaned forward and put his lips on her forehead. Was that the famous baby smell? He inhaled. The scent that women swooned over? Sweet and warm and a little like sleep. He sniffed again. Adrianna’s eyes closed, as though she’d had quite enough of being sniffed by her strange new uncle and was ready for another nap.

“She’s such a good sleeper,” Aubrey said. “Just falls asleep whenever and wherever. Doesn’t even need to nurse sometimes. Takes these little snoozes. So different than Max.”

Leo nodded. As looked up at his sister-in-law he caught his reflection in the mirror across the room. He wore a dopey blissed-out smile, as if holding a baby in his arms had drugged him. Maybe it had. Adrianna was sweet and warm and just so incredibly fragile and vulnerable. A compelling need to protect this tiny bundle of life unfurled in his chest.

“Sometimes Justin naps right there with her. Says there’s something about the weight of her on his chest that makes him want to sleep.”

Leo could see it. Feel it. That and this unfamiliar protective instinct that had kicked into overdrive.

Aubrey’s tone shifted slightly. “Have you seen Gwen?” Leo looked up from staring at his niece into his sister-in-law’s eyes.

“Not since the hospital,” Leo said.

Aubrey nodded, but didn’t comment.

“Why? Have you?”

Aubrey smiled. “Nearly every day, actually. Even though Justin’s been working from home, she brings me lunch daily. I love the company. I’m not quite ready to take this little one out into the world just yet. It’s still cold and I’m still recovering. Soon, but not yet.”

That sounded like Gwen, bringing her best friend lunch every day so that they could chat and eat and Aubrey could have some company.

His chest ached. Leo wanted to have lunch with Gwen. He wanted to spend time with her. He wanted her back in his life but…he glanced at Adrianna. His niece was beautiful and perfect and…could he do this? For the rest of his life? Could he be a father? Be committed? Be dedicated to the life of another human in such a way that their needs came first, before him? Could he?

Adrianna seemed to smile in her sleep.

His chest tightened. No, not without Gwen he couldn’t.



*



“You held a baby one time and now you think you’re ready to have one?” Gwen narrowed her eyes at him. “That is insane.” She balled her hands into fists and shook them in front of her. “Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?”

No, this conversation wasn’t going as he’d planned. He’d left Aubrey and Justin’s knowing he had to talk to Gwen immediately, had to tell her how he felt. But he hadn’t been able to reach her on the phone, even though he’d tried again and again. The thought that she wouldn’t answer his calls struck a momentary chill into his heart. He deserved it, he knew. But he wasn’t going to let that stop him. So he’d gone to her building and waited outside for her closing on four hours. Four. Hours. Waiting for her to arrive home. New York in springtime wasn’t all that warm yet. And really, when had he ever had to wait for anyone?

But this was Gwen. His Gwen. And despite the furious look in her eyes and the furrow between her eyebrows and the flush of pink her cheeks that either came from being excited to see him, the cold, or anger (he wasn’t sure which), he knew that he would convince Gwen she was meant to be his.

“No,” Leo shook his head. “I’m definitely not ready to be a father.”

Gwen frowned. “But you just said—”

“I can’t do this without you, Gwen. That was my epiphany, that’s what I’ve figured out since we broke up.”

“So you wait outside my building for what, five hours, like some kind of stalker—”

“Four,” Leo countered.

“Whatever. You say four, my neighbor texted me you’ve been here for five.”

“Your neighbor has an inaccurate sense of time.”

“He sells watches for a living, Leo.”

“Doesn’t mean he can tell time. Obviously.”

Gwen held up her hand. “Fine, four hours. You stand out here in the cold for four hours to tell me that you now want to be a father but only if I’m the mother?”

“Pretty much, right.”

When she said it like that, he sounded like a nut job for sure. But he wasn’t crazy, wasn’t a nut job—he was a man in love. Leo looked into Gwen’s eyes. Her expression nearly unreadable now, she weighed something in her mind. Most likely his sanity.