A man in a tuxedo let them in and closed the massive door behind them. Carrie looked around the space, realizing that they weren’t in a room but an entranceway the size of a room. It had the most gorgeous glass chandelier hanging above them. She bet it was bigger than one of those fancy cars outside. Everything felt like a dream as the holiday music poured through the speakers, men with silver trays offered champagne and strawberries, others with trays of canapés. Then, she saw Allie coming toward her. She looked absolutely glowing, her brown hair swept up, with simple teardrop earrings to match her dress that was the same color as her hazel eyes. It had a low scoop neck, and it gathered in an empire waist above her pregnant belly. As she walked, Carrie smiled because she could make out that her shoes were flat ballet-slipper style but they matched her dress perfectly.
“Hello!” she greeted them, grabbing two flutes of champagne from one of the waiters and handing them to Carrie and Adam. “I’m happy you two could come!” She offered Carrie a big, genuine smile. “I’m so glad I get to see you again,” she said. “I’d love to hear your nanny stories later on.” There was a buzz of an amplifier and then a few chords. “Oh! The band’s about to play,” she said, leading them into a living room that was the size of a ballroom. There was a fire going at one end, and the band was setting up in the corner next to it. At the other end of the room was a Christmas tree that stretched to the ceiling. It was at least two stories high. The room was full of people dressed in fine clothes, and Carrie was glad to have someone like Allie there, who could make her feel like she belonged. “I’m just going to find Robert,” she said over the music. “Make yourselves at home. Dance!”
Allie seemed too much like her to be in such decadent surroundings. But at the same time, there was something inviting about the house. Growing up, Carrie had read fairytales; she knew what a mansion and Prince Charming should be like. This wasn’t like that at all. Even as her friends had moved on in life—not even half as financially successful as the people around her now—she’d found their success intimidating. She realized at this moment that as people grew up, they might have mansions, they might not, but they were still people. Allie had all this money, and she’d been a nanny just like Carrie. She was inviting and sweet. It made Carrie feel like she wasn’t any different than the people around her. They may have gone to fancy universities, traveled, and held jobs that paid more than hers, but they had feelings, insecurities, and wants just like her.
She looked up at Adam. The stress of work was gone from his face tonight and replaced by a smile. His eyes were affectionate, the little lines showing around them as they squinted just slightly with his grin when he looked at her. The band had started to play—something quiet and Christmassy. It made her feel festive, like the holiday had finally arrived. With that feeling, however, came a feeling of dread because she didn’t want it all to end. Not just the party, the whole experience. This was the most wonderful Christmas she’d had since childhood, and she knew that it would be hard to top it. She didn’t want to go back to North Carolina, never seeing Adam again, or the twins, or Walter or Joyce. She didn’t want to leave Adam’s side at this party and have him drive her home to her quiet room. She wanted it all to last forever. She didn’t know what to do because she knew exactly what made her feel whole. She just didn’t know how to get it.
“Would you like to dance?” Adam asked. She couldn’t believe it. Allie had suggested dancing, but she’d never have guessed that he’d actually want to. She liked it when he surprised her. The thought of his arms around her, his body close to her, made her feel unsteady in her heels. She took in a deep breath and let it out, trying to keep the splotches from coming, and nodded. She wasn’t sure how to deal with the situation. He was her boss. She’d only come because Allie had offered to have her. Against her will, her mind went to Andy. She wasn’t as poised as someone like Andy, who could probably handle this moment with grace. Had he wanted to bring her, and Allie’s suggestion had ruined his plan? Was Andy sitting home tonight when Adam really wanted to dance with her?
Couples had filtered in near the band in an area that had been cleared for that purpose, and they walked over to join the crowd. Adam took Carrie’s champagne and set it with his on a nearby table. Then, he reached for her and put his arm around her waist. She tried to breathe slowly so he couldn’t feel how her breath had sped up. She took in the gentle way his fingers wrapped around hers, the feel of his hand, and it felt like a perfect fit. Her mind ran wild and she wondered again what his fingers would feel like on her face, her neck. When his arm was around her, it made her feel shielded, protected from all her insecurities. As their feet moved slowly to the music, her dress swaying around her ankles, she took in the fact that she was in a dress far more sophisticated than she’d ever worn, in a mansion of a home. She would remember this moment forever.