Carrie was certainly going to miss him. She couldn’t even let herself think about that day because she honestly didn’t know how to handle it. She’d had a glimpse of everything she’d ever wanted, and leaving it would probably be the hardest thing she’d ever done.
“I’m trying to make him see it your way,” Carrie said. “I think the same thing that you do. And sometimes, Sharon, I think he’s getting it, but then he turns right around and does something to the contrary. But,” she held up a finger to drive the point home, “I saw a glimpse of what he was capable of tonight. He talked to the children after you went upstairs. It was a baby step, I know, but it was amazing.”
“But will it continue? He’s off work tonight, and he doesn’t have to choose. I have a sinking feeling that when he has to decide between work and the kids, he’ll choose work.” Sharon shook her head. “He makes me so mad that I didn’t want to be here. It’s only for Mom’s sake that I ever come out of the room at all. I see his beautiful children, the happiness that’s waiting there for him, and he can’t see what’s right in front of him. I have too much I’m dealing with personally to want to deal with him, too. Mom made me come; she shamed me into it. I tried to tell her that it wouldn’t change things, but she’s always so optimistic.”
“I’m so sorry about what you’re going through,” she said. “I suppose I’m a little optimistic too. I thought I could change him.”
For the first time since she’d arrived, Sharon smiled. It had been a long time since Carrie had had a girlfriend to chat with. Perhaps that was why she read so many of her self-help books. She was always looking for a way to make her life work. What she realized as she sat with Sharon was that it takes relationships and people to make life work. The answers weren’t always right there in print; sometimes she would have to live a little, take risks, feel her way around to find the answers.
She felt a strange sort of bond with Sharon now. “Would you like to go downstairs with me? We can be a united front,” she winked. Sharon stood up and walked with her to the door. She shook her head knowingly at Carrie. Together, both smiling, they headed downstairs.
Chapter Twenty-One
Pay attention to every life event and explicitly internalize what you love about that event.
“I’m the only one who can beat Gramps,” Adam said, his mouth turning upward into a playful grin that reached his eyes. Adam sat down next to Sharon as Walter dealt Carrie a hand. Carrie fanned out her cards and then pretended to conceal them by turning them over on the table, but really, she was hiding the fact that she couldn’t hold them steady. She was too keyed up about Adam’s behavior tonight. He’d not checked his phone once during the play, he’d had a heartfelt conversation with his children after, and now he was playing cards. She could hardly contain her excitement.
“You can beat Walter?” Carrie said. She hadn’t seen him act like this before. She couldn’t pinpoint one particular thing, but there was something different about him. He seemed happy, blithe. Even when they were shopping, he hadn’t been like this, and she had to wonder why. What had made him leave his office tonight? He’d never just popped in to his office before. That’s what he’d said—He had to pop in. What had caused this sudden moment of playfulness? The excitement ran wild inside her. His behavior was so unexpected, but it filled her with happiness. She wanted to hug him.
“Well,” Walter said, making a bridge with the cards and letting them cascade down into a perfect pile on the table. “Now I finally have a little competition.” He winked at Adam. Carrie noticed how no one seemed to point out the fact that Adam was finally joining the family instead of working. They could have been angry with him for ignoring them for so long, but they weren’t. They were happy, smiling.
Bruce stood up. “How many beers do we need?” he asked. A few hands went up, including Adam’s. Sharon turned and looked at him, thoughts clear on her face. She didn’t raise her hand. “Carrie?” Bruce said, and she realized that she’d gotten lost in her own thoughts. She was worrying for Adam and Sharon, wishing they could resolve their differences, wondering how long it had been since they’d sat next to each other and shared anything at all.
“Yes, please,” she said in response to the encouraging smile she received from Adam.
As Bruce got the beers, Walter said, “Ace is low.” Then, he set the deck in the center of the table. “We’ll start with Adam. Let’s give him a running start before I take over for the win.”