A Christmas to Remember(72)

“I’m sure the kids will be glad to see you in the audience,” she said.

“I’m glad we could have a whole row of family there for them since Gwen couldn’t come.” The waitress had set the beers down while they were chatting, and Carrie noticed that they were the bottles with the white labels. She felt sentimental about it because that had been the first time she’d had a moment with Adam. They’d come quite a ways since she’d first arrived. He smiled. “I’m glad they’ll have you there.” He took a sip of his beer and set it down slowly, his eyes on the beer mat below it. Without looking up, he said, “I’ll be glad to have you there too.”

Carrie could feel the hope rising up from the bottom of her stomach where she’d pushed it down. What did he mean by that? Did he mean that he was glad the kids would have someone they trusted to watch them in the play? Before she could ask herself any more questions, he added, “I’m hoping that having you there may help Sharon. I’m sure watching the children is tough, given her situation. You have a calming way about you. Maybe between you and my mom, the two of you can help keep her spirits up.” Once again, her hopes were dashed. Adam was glad to have her there because she could help with his sister’s emotional state. That was it. Nothing more. She was hoping he’d say that he wanted to have her there because he enjoyed being around her, or that he couldn’t imagine spending the evening without her, but that was just silly thinking, wasn’t it? She should know better by now. Every time she let her guard down, she was reminded that Adam wasn’t interested in her. She was just the nanny.



“My halo is itchy,” Olivia said, tugging on the circle of tinsel that was pinned to her hair. She scratched underneath it, causing her hair to lump up in the middle. Carrie gently pushed it back down and secured the pins.

“You are a beautiful angel!” she said, fluffing out the white cotton dress that Olivia was wearing. She also had white tights and white patent leather shoes. With the gold tinsel halo in her hair and the pink on her cheeks that Carrie had brushed on a few minutes earlier, she really did look like a little angel. “Here, David, let me see if I can get that belt tighter.” David walked over wearing a brown burlap material that fit him like a sack, with a black belt cinching it all together. He tugged at his belt, his little, somber face showing his worry that it wouldn’t stay tight. Carrie pulled it to fit and secured it with a safety pin. While she worked on David’s costume, Olivia pranced around the bedroom, jumping and spinning like a ballerina.

When they were finished getting ready, Carrie grabbed the directions to the church and headed downstairs with the children. Joyce and the others were following in Adam’s two cars to the church. She and the kids met Eric at the bottom of the stairs. “You two look great,” he said as the kids showed him their costumes. “I can’t wait to see you in the play tonight.”

“You’re gonna like it!” Olivia said in a sing-songy voice. “Is Aunt Sharon coming, too?”

“She sure is. She’s just finishing up getting ready.”

The kids ran off when they heard Joyce and Bruce in the living room, leaving Carrie and Eric alone at the bottom of the stairs. “Is she doing okay today?” Carrie asked, boldly.

Eric didn’t seem to mind her question. “This sort of thing is always tough for her because she wants kids so badly.” He was quiet for a moment before he added, “And her depression worsens things. It only came on when she lost the baby. It’s been hard for both of us.”

Carrie struggled for a positive spin on this one. She remembered enough from one of her books to know that Sharon exhibited nearly all the characteristics of depression, but in this case, there was nothing to make it better, nothing to say. It just was. Once again, her book had no answers. Sharon wanted a child, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t have one. For some reason, it wasn’t meant for her. And everything she experienced from here on out was shadowed by that fact. How would she ever enjoy herself tonight while she watched her niece and nephew? Surely she would only think about the fact that she may never see her own children in a Christmas play.

Carrie had helped Adam pick out a present for her, and they’d settled on a blanket. It was white like the snow outside and so soft that she wanted to curl up with it right there in the store. It was big enough that Sharon could use it but soft enough that it would be perfect for wrapping a baby. Carrie hoped it would keep her warm on those cold nights, the nights she needed a little extra comfort.