“You’re right,” she said, happy that he knew his son better than she thought he did.
They walked to the next aisle. The shelves were lined with blocks of different types. This is the perfect spot to find David a gift, she thought, but she didn’t say anything. She waited to see if Adam knew it too. He stopped and took a box of bristle blocks off the shelf, read the back of it, and put it back. Then, he pulled a larger box of stacking blocks down and inspected the picture on the front. He turned it around for Carrie to view. “I think he’d like these,” he said. “And he mentioned a racecar set.” It was true: David had mentioned that he wanted a racecar set on the day they’d gotten the Christmas tree with Adam. She had thought he wasn’t listening.
“How many gifts should we buy? I noticed Mom had put some presents under the tree.”
“Maybe we could get two or three each, and then there’s always Santa’s loot. Anything planned for that?” She knew it probably hadn’t occurred to him until that moment, but she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Two tiny creases formed between his eyes as he considered her question. When his face was serious, she could see David’s resemblance to him.
“Hm,” he said, looking around. “We may need a cart. I’ll be right back.” He disappeared around the corner and returned, pushing a small shopping cart. She placed the crown and the blocks in the basket and headed toward the jungle animals section.
There were stuffed monkeys, trees with bright flowers strung around them, toucans, and frogs with orange feet. An enormous, animated panda growled in her direction, causing her to jump in surprise. She heard that all-too-familiar laugh beside her, and her hopes went soaring. He was enjoying himself, clearly. Did he have these kinds of experiences with Andy? She didn’t want to think about it.
“What is this?” Adam said, pointing to a picture of life-sized indoor jungle-themed play set with a tube slide.
“It looks like a jungle gym,” she said, trying to mask her surprise. She thought about the last nanny, Natalie—her quiet demeanor, her strict rules—and she couldn’t believe he was even considering purchasing such a thing. The playroom, with its dark wood shelves, and burgundy and green rug was like a toy museum. The toy bins were color-coordinated and labeled, the art table perfectly organized. This orange and yellow contraption would stick out like a sore thumb in that décor.
“Do you think they’d play on it if I bought it for them? Gwen’s getting them each a Big Wheels for her house. This would give them something active that they could do at mine.”
She didn’t want to have seen it, but she’d caught a glimpse of the price tag: one thousand, two hundred ninety-nine dollars. “I think they’d love it,” she said.
“Do you think this could be their gift from Santa?”
She thought back to her gifts from Santa. Her biggest gift had been a bike, and she’d wondered how he’d fit it in the sleigh. How would they explain this? It was okay, though. She’d leave them to wonder. Their daddy was about to buy a gift for them that they’d absolutely love, and he had the money to do it, so she kept quiet. It was extravagant, but the point was that she had Adam out shopping, and he’d picked it out himself.
They paid for the jungle gym and a few other smaller gifts, and walked out into the frigid cold of winter. The tinkling of jingle bells sailed toward her and she saw Santa—all decked out in the most elegant deep red outfit with furry white cuffs and lapels, thick, black leather boots and belt, and the most gorgeous white hair and beard, perfectly combed. He let out a “Ho ho ho,” from his golden throne, a line of excited children waiting to give him their lists. A little boy with a bright red and green sweater and white Oxford shirt collar peeking out at the neck climbed onto Santa’s lap, his mother holding his coat and smiling affectionately.
“What would you like for Christmas?” Santa called out in his bellowing voice. As he did, he caught Carrie’s eye. She felt a little embarrassed, realizing she’d been staring at him, thinking about the magic of Christmas and how much she wished she could have David and Olivia with her. What would she like for Christmas? She’d like more days just like this one. As she allowed the thought to come through, Santa winked at her and then went back to the little boy who was unfolding a piece of notebook paper and reading his list. She turned to talk to Adam, but, to her surprise, he wasn’t beside her. She looked around, her eyes moving from storefront to storefront. Where had he gone? Fear took over as she worried that he’d taken a work call. Maybe one from Andy. She shivered in the cold, putting her hands in the pockets of her coat to keep her fingers from going numb.