A Christmas to Remember(68)

“I thought we’d go to the mall. Would that be okay?” he said, breaking the silence.

“That’s fine.” She didn’t care where they went. She enjoyed being with him, and what she wanted was for Adam to choose the gifts that he was planning to give his children. She’d help give him ideas of what they’d like, but the children needed to know that they were actually from him.

When they finally arrived, Carrie was more than surprised by what she saw. She walked through the entrance into the massive expanse of outdoor shops surrounding her. In the center of it all was a Christmas tree that was as tall as the mall itself, its lights twinkling like stars against the gray sky. The shops were two stories, the iron railings on the second floor draped with swags of evergreen. Christmas music poured through the loud speakers as the whistle from a children’s train blew when it passed by them. She pulled the collar of her coat together to keep out the cold, but the sight in front of her kept her warm.

“It’s cold,” Adam said, lightly placing his hand on her back, making it hard for her to breathe. She looked over at him and smiled, the thrill of being with him settling in her chest. “Where would you like to go first?” he asked.

There were chocolate shops, perfume shops, clothing stores, anything and everything, their store signs bright against the dull sky. Each one had wreaths in windows, snow piled in corners, people bustling in and out with their holiday bags swinging from their arms. There was too much to take in, too many choices. Then, down the cobbled walk, she saw the glow of primary colors in the shop window—the toy store. “Let’s start there,” she pointed.

“Okay,” he said, as he smiled down at her.

His whole body seemed less tense than she’d seen it before, and his face was content when he looked at her. He was in the moment. The excitement of the season, the ambiance of the shops, and being with him made her feel like she was creating a memory that she wouldn’t soon forget. She was happier than she could remember being in a very long time. She felt like a whole person again, and all the things she’d read in her books seemed useless now—she didn’t need any of them because they didn’t understand what it was like to live. The words in her books were nothing more than a string of advice with no mention of what it was to feel real happiness. She remembered her book that said that familiar situations put people at ease. This wasn’t familiar at all, yet she was more at ease than she’d ever been.

Adam opened the door to the toy shop and allowed her to enter first. “Shall we shop for Olivia since I see all that pink over there?”

She nodded. He was right. Olivia would definitely love that section of the store. There were fairy costumes, pink unicorn stuffed animals, purple strollers with silver, sparkle wheels. It was perfect. Carrie picked up a fat white and black stuffed kitty cat doll with a pink rhinestone collar and stroked its fur.

“What do you think?” she asked, cradling it like a baby. “It could be her new pet.” Adam shook his head, smiling, and she set it back down. “Or these?” She took a gigantic pair of pink heart glasses from the shelf and put them on. “She may like them.” He huffed out a laugh and shook his head. Then, it caught her eye on the shelf above, glistening in the light of the shop. Carrie put the glasses back and pulled a diamond crown the size of Miss America’s from the shelf and placed it on her head. The faux metal and stones were light, but the crown itself was substantial, causing her hair to fall into her face as she pressed it down onto her head.

Adam raised his hand, and for an instant, she thought he was going to push her hair behind her ear, but he pulled his hand back as quickly as he’d raised it and smiled instead. It was only half of a gesture—barely enough for her to even know its intent—but enough to make her hands tingle with nervousness. He was smiling at her, but his eyes were appraising, as if he were seeing her in a new light. She could see the happiness in his face even though he was working to keep his features neutral. It all made her heart pound in her chest. She took the crown off and ran her fingers through her hair.

“I think she’d like it,” he said.

Olivia would like it. And the fact that he knew filled with her emotions. Did he feel what she was feeling? He gestured for her to enter the aisle leading to the toy trains and trucks, so she went first, glad that she could focus on something other than his face to settle her nerves.

They stopped in front of the toy construction trucks. Adam’s expression was the same as the one he had when he was concentrating at his desk. He scanned the toys in front of him. “David doesn’t really play with these types of trucks, does he?”