A Christmas to Remember(59)
They were all turning to go, and Joyce was assisting Walter with his walker, as Olivia asked from inside the fort, “Will you stay and play with us, Daddy?”
“I can’t,” she heard him say gently. “I have to finish my work. But you two have fun, okay?”
Carrie’s heart fell. She knew what kind of pressure he was under to get his work done, but she’d hoped, watching him, that he’d stay and play, seize the moment.
“Okay,” Olivia said quietly.
“Bye, Daddy,” David called as Adam lifted the sheet and crawled out. Sharon shook her head at him. She spun around and darted out of the room. Eric and Joyce followed her.
Carrie’s hopes for that moment had just come tumbling down around her. She wondered which was worse: him just not being there at all, or being there and then letting them down. The kids were disappointed; she could tell by their voices. And it had been all her fault. She should have left him in his office. The kids had been so excited about the fort—she should have left well enough alone. The splotches were beginning to crawl up her neck as Adam approached her.
Bruce started to help Walter get to the door, but Walter stopped and hobbled over to Adam. He grabbed Adam’s arm and went with him to the door. Unprompted, Walter guided him just out of earshot of the children, put his quivering hand on Adam’s shoulder, and said with a smile, “Do you know what I used to love to watch you do?” Adam shook his head. “When you were seven, and you came to visit me and your Grandma,” he looked up at the ceiling and smiled again, his bushy eyebrows going up, creating long creases on his forehead, “you used to make forts like that,” he pointed toward the children, “in my back woods. Do you remember? You’d stay out there all day until dark. You’ve always been a builder of things. You built the model train village with your dad at twelve, you built your first home brewery using that kit in college, and now you’re building a business. I’m proud of ya, son. I just wish you’d work on building one more thing for me.” That pensive look sheeted over Adam’s face, the skin between his eyes wrinkling. “Build your family,” Walter said. “The fort’s gone now. So’s the home brewery and the village. It will all go. But family stays.”
Carrie felt as if she were intruding by listening, so she took a step back. Walter’s words had caused a storm of thoughts to flood her mind: she thought about how right he was, and it made her feel inadequate again and lonely. Certainly, Adam needed some help making his family, but he had a family. Carrie had never married, she had no children, nothing to build. Was she wasting her skills on others when she should just quit and focus on herself a while? She pondered that question all the time, but she didn’t know where to go or what to do. There was no clear path to follow.
The buzz of a rev-up car came from inside the fort. Adam stood very quietly as he took in Walter’s suggestion. His only movement was when he slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He seemed to be thinking—it always showed on his face. Finally, he said, “I’m working on a deal that will more than triple our distribution on the East Coast,” Adam said. “It’s a game-changer. I’m the only one who can facilitate it. I know that sounds heartless, but I am up against a wall here.”
The edges of Walter’s lips turned upward into a knowing grin, his eyes showing wisdom beyond any Carrie could imagine. “No one’s doubting that you can make it happen. But more isn’t always better, young man. Now, I’m going down to your lovely, gigantic kitchen so that I can sit at the table and play solitaire the same way I do in my kitchenette at home. Bruce, do you mind walking with me?” After they left, Carrie caught Adam take one last glance at the fort before departing himself, leaving her feeling sad for him and his children, lonely for herself, and altogether confused about how she could possibly fix it all. It seemed no matter what she did, she just couldn’t get through to Adam, and as her time with the Fletcher family slipped away, she knew she wouldn’t be staying longer to help him figure it all out. In a month’s time, she’d be applying to the university back home, taking classes. Her stomach churned with the thought of it.
Chapter Sixteen
Make every moment count. Carrie and the children had many wonderful moments together in the fort they’d built. That night, after the kids had been put to bed, she walked into the playroom to clean up. They’d spent hours in the fort. David had added a few more sections and Olivia had decorated the inside. It was mostly empty now—just sheets, blankets, and toys—but she could almost hear the laughter and the voices of the kids as they’d played. David had been a pirate on his ship at sea and Olivia had been a Mommy, taking care of her baby. The doll was still inside the fort, covered in a small toy blanket. Instead of cleaning up, Carrie crawled inside.