A Christmas to Remember(58)

She felt ridiculous even saying it. She felt like she’d overstepped the line more than she ever had. She’d just interrupted a very important call to show him something that the kids made. She knew the fort was important, but she worried that Adam would see it as trivial. “The kids made a fort,” she said.

He didn’t say anything. He just stared at her, his eyes confirming all of her fears.

“But I don’t want you to see the fort,” she said quickly before he could throw her out. “I want you to show David and Olivia that, just like your business, what they’ve made using their time and their hands is important and a priority.”

His shoulders fell just a little, and she could see that contemplative look pushing out the irritation. He stood up and walked around the desk, his gaze on her in a reluctant but surrendering way. If he hadn’t been raised with manners, he may have rolled his eyes. Yet still, Carrie wanted to yelp and clap her hands, throw her arms around him and tell him what a great thing it was for him to do this, but she kept her composure. This was a teaching moment like any other she’d had with children. If he was going to learn how to be a father, she couldn’t distract him with her own excitement.

“I need you to trust me. When you get to the playroom, I want you to crawl into the fort and play with them. No questions,” she said. He shook his head as if he were annoyed, but she knew he was lightening up. As they neared the door, she looked up at him. “Adam. This is very important for your kids. They made a fort, and they don’t believe that you’ll get in. I’m nearly certain of it. So, please, get in for them.”

Adam knew a lot about life that Carrie hadn’t experienced yet. She kept thinking about all the things he’d experienced: He knew what it was like to be married to someone, the feel of that relationship crumbling, he knew what it felt like to pay a mortgage and be rooted in one place. But when it came to his relationship with his kids, Carrie knew that she had the most knowledge on the subject, and she felt as though he knew it too. Being able to help Adam balanced her feelings of inadequacy a little. It made her feel like she was doing something right, something just as important as that big phone call he’d just ended. “Are you going to get in?” she pressed.

“I’ll get in,” he said. She wanted him to want to, but she knew that it would take many baby steps to get him to understand. He was getting in. Right now, that’s all that mattered.

He pushed the playroom door open and stopped. The entire family was there—they’d even helped Walter to get there. For a second that felt longer than an hour, no one spoke. The kids were inside, and Carrie could see the beam from David’s flashlight. Sharon looked at Carrie first and then at Adam, her face neutral of any emotion. Everyone else just looked expectant—as if they were waiting for Adam to give a speech or something. Everyone except Joyce. Carrie was surprised to find her looking straight at her, a small smile hiding behind her eyes. Adam raised a hand in greeting. Then, without prompting, he walked past the family and got down on his hands and knees. He lifted the sheet up and put his head in. Olivia let out a squeal so loud it startled Carrie. The squeal transformed into a bunch of giggles.

“May I come in?” Adam asked her.

Carrie couldn’t see the exchange, but the sheets began to move, and she heard David say, “Scoot over, Olivia, and give him room.”

Adam wriggled his way inside the fort. Under the beam of light from David’s flashlight, she could make out Adam’s shadow. He was sitting cross-legged, his shoulders hunched over to help him fit under the art table. Joyce was standing beside Carrie as she watched, her hand covering the smile on her face, and even though Carrie wasn’t a mother, she’d felt those same feelings enough to know what Joyce was thinking: He got in. He’s with his kids. How wonderful. Carrie felt it too. There was something so attractive about watching a man with his children—it was different than watching a woman with them. Even though she could only see his silhouette, she watched how his movements had become more gentle around them, how still he was as he listened to them. To see someone—who was such a strong businessman, who didn’t waver when making decisions, who could direct whole teams of people—to see him change before her eyes into this tender, soothing person made her heart patter. Joyce motioned to the others to follow her out of the room, and as Carrie complied with them, Joyce put up her hand as if to tell her to stay. “Help him,” she whispered, nodding toward the fort.

Carrie watched his shadow, wondering what the kids would ask him, how he would talk to them. She wondered if David would ask him to help build something like he always asked Carrie to do, or if Olivia would dress him up in her dress-up accessories. The thought warmed her. This part would be easy. Now that she’d gotten him here, even if it was only fifteen minutes, she could easily show him what to do. He was going to play with the kids, and they would never forget it, she was certain. Spending time with them would tell them how much he thought of them, how much he cared.