A Christmas to Remember(54)

Carrie’s pulse quickened at his comment, but then, she relaxed a little when she realized that obviously he didn’t understand how his words could be misconstrued. It was the same principle that she used to comprehend why children said things like, “I don’t like your sweater. The stripes are funny.” They don’t know enough about the world to grasp how that would hurt a person’s feelings. They had to be taught. Even though Adam was a very bright man, he, too, had to be taught. He clearly didn’t realize what he’d implied by his words. Playing with his children and eating meals with his family certainly wasn’t “messing around.” By spending those moments with his children, he’d be creating the people they would become by giving them moments, memories, a picture of what life should be.

“Do you want your children to believe that you don’t have time to love and that they aren’t worth love?”

“Of course not.” He was looking at her as if she’d just said the most preposterous thing in the world, which made her feel better still. He wasn’t heartless; he just didn’t understand this part of his life the way she did. He clearly didn’t realize the implications of his actions. It was time for her to teach him how he needed to act around his children. She felt a calmness about being there, across from him, that she hadn’t felt before. Talking to him was easier than she’d imagined, and, every time she did it, she felt fantastic.

“I want to help you show them what you’re like as a person, what life with you is like,” she said, careful not to point fingers. “I know you’re busy, but would there be any way that you could work from home at least a few more days so you can be with the children? It would give them a chance to get to know you.”

The uncertainty was there in his face, but it was as if the feeling irritated him. He clenched his jaw and he drew in a deep breath through his nose. She’d hit that nerve that Joyce had found, and she realized by his reaction that staying home and having to spend time with his children scared him as much as being with him had scared her at first. He was out of his comfort zone. The guilt of loving a job that caused him to not have time for his own children was clear. Perhaps he felt awkward around his kids, and he wasn’t used to feeling that way. He was used to being in complete control of his life. His marriage was gone, his kids didn’t know him, and his family was upset by his behavior. These were all things that probably made him feel out of control.

“I’m not trying to be combative, but I do have work to do. That’s why I’ve employed you. I’d prefer to stick to the work I have because, at the moment, things are a bit busy.”

“But David and Olivia need you.”

“Look, I’m working on a major business expansion. I have to do the work because no one else can do it. However, when it comes to watching the children, there is someone else who can do that job, so I’d like you to do it and stop worrying about me.”

She could feel the splotches return, but she didn’t care if he saw them. She knew what Adam was really saying. He was saying that anyone can watch children, but only he can run his business. With that one statement, he’d just undermined the job that she cared so much about, that she’d given up her entire life for. He’d just told her that what she did for a living was less important than what he did. It took all the energy she had to get the words to come out in a calm manner.

“I don’t want you to watch the children, Adam. I want you to be a father to them.” She knew that statement was daring, and she knew quite well what she meant by it: She was saying that, by working all the time, Adam wasn’t being an adequate father, which was exactly what his family had said. The last thing she wanted to do was to attack him, because she knew that he felt he’d been attacked by his family downstairs. She’d just wanted to help.

“I don’t like what you’re implying,” he said quietly, but his irritation was evident in the way he said the words—each one annunciated perfectly.

“I’m not implying anything. I’m telling you. I think the children need you to make some different decisions in your life.”

“Look, I didn’t get where I am by exercising poor judgment. You’ve been with our family a matter of days. Days. What do you know about us? You think you know. I think it would be best if you leave my life choices to me and you stick to what you really do know, which is how to care for my children.”

“I’m trying to care for them, Adam,” she pushed, “but it’s not just about finger paints and bedtimes. It’s about teaching them to be healthy, well-rounded adults. Some children don’t have the luxury of having a family, but yours do, and I’m just trying to let them see what a great father they have.”